School bans ALL physical contact

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The parents haven't been informed by the school of this rule, but the kids have been told they will get a warning for the first transgression and then a detention is it happens again. No physical contact at all permitted. How are they going to enforce it and is this the case is any other school (from a quick Google I found that a school in Essex has done this) and AIBU to think it's ridiculous? I have 2 DCs in this school so it will affect them.

Were there some children being too demonstative in a romantic sense? There must have been a reason.
Maybe some kids were being touched and didn't at all like it.

I received a huge amount of unwanted physical contact in lower secondary, much of it sexual. I still suffer from the psychological impact today. Obviously no contact at all is not ideal, but if it's the only practical way to keep people safe, I think it may be worth it.

I'd like to see how that's going to work in my DGD's school where they've just converted all the loos to unisex so the staff have no idea what's going to be going on in them

And they were feral before. I'd hate to be a girl in school now

Tell that to my friend whose daughter was sexually assaulted in a school with exactly this pointless rule. It's incredibly naïve to think if you just tell people to stop touching then sexual assaults will magically stop happening.

People who commit sexual assault don't give a shit about rules, or they wouldn't do it. Again, sexual assault is illegal. If that's not a deterrent then I don't see how "no touching or else!" will be.

And if someone had told me 35 years go that schools would be trying to ban physical contact between pupils, when at that point we encouraged children to dance together, play physical contact games together at break times to let off steam, comfort each other, make art and music together etc, I would have thought the world had gone mad.

As PPs have said, all reason seems to have left some schools who operate on the most petty and draconian lines, consigning large numbers of children to extended spells of incarceration in isolation for very minor infractions. Young people in the criminal justice system are afforded great rights and care for their welfare. And then we wonder why we have both an attendance crisis and a mental health crisis. There is an evidence base, including on what causes psychological harms, which some schools choose to ignore. I hope there are some class actions against academy chains. Might take this to shift the dial?

Must be a huge school with very few pupils. Imagine queuing up to go into a class, are they supposed to stand metres apart just in case

How does that even work.

Even in schools with wide corridors and a one way system there isn’t enough room for everyone to walk at once without bumping into someone else trying to get to the next class

Someone about to fall down the stairs

Let them fall as that would involve touching them.

I think you just leave the school then, if you are not going to support the school rules

Where do you draw the line. Sometimes when a rule that has holes in it is brought in it is only right that some critical thinking is done.

Those who are going to break this rule are going to still break it. It won’t make anyone safer. It just means as the victim, you get punished as well

"I have been a teacher for 35 years."

That's usually a good reason to quit

I totally agree that this is also parents responsibility. However, we all know many parents simply do not have the wherewithal, and others are a big part of the problem, never having learned it themselves.

Schools can and do successfully create a culture of respect without blanket bans.

This.

I started off thinking 'how unreasonable', then remembered my actual time in secondary school, and honestly, a rule like this would have been very welcome.

I find the "snowflakes" and "no resilience" comments on threads about punitive and harsh policies in schools baffling. The general undertone is that "If kids don't suffer this or endure that, they'll have no resilience and won't be able to cope with life".

I thought we'd long since moved away from the idea that traumatic, humiliating or difficult childhood experiences build resilience to an understanding that resilience in children is developed through positive, encouraging and supportive relationships with caregivers, mentors, authority figures and peers.

Agree totally with this.

How are they supposed to learn what's appropriate and what's not if all contact is banned?

Although it is a minefield. I put my arm round the shoulder of colleague who was upset and immediately worried it was unwelcome.

Amen.

I wouldn't want my children go go to a school like that its unnatural. Children hig their friends humans are supposed to have physical contact.

Not in any workplaces I have been in or anyone I know works in.
Non consensual contact is different of course.
But normal handshakes, hugs, high fives shouldn't be banned. It's not preparing children for adult life to ban all contact. It makes more sense to educate them on what is and isn't appropriate contact. Banning all contact doesn't help children understand what is and what isn't appropriate.

brilliant. now they can grow into adults without having learned what is and isn't appropriate touching.

Sounds like there have been issues around fighting and/or consent in the school.

Schools can and have failed inspections on the back of pupils or parents reporting that issues like this are occurring.

Most probably based on protecting both the pupils and school, I'd think.

I can't help thinking this support of banning platonic consensual touch is why we have so many of these children identifying as sex repulsed asexuals at 12.

This 100%. It's not healthy for kids to be treated like that. If there are issues with bullying/inappropriate contact they need to be dealt with as individual incidents instead of a lazy and unfair blanket ban.

OK Birbalsingh 😂

Absolutely.

How can they learn and establish their boundaries?

Ask the school to confirm this and why they are doing it. If a child has been assaulted, ask if they have involved the police.

@LlynTegid loool they would never ever be able to disclose that to you. If a child has been assaulted they have to involve the police. That's a legal requirement not a policy.
The OP has no idea what the policy is. This is all hearsay and until she does, it's best she waits. Some of these comments are actually hilarious.

@ChardonnaysBeastlyCat school is not the place to learn what is appropriate and inappropriate boundaries when it comes to touching. Esp not secondary school. I would not want my kid to be the one having to teach your child what is appropriate boundaries with touching, because you haven't taught them at home.

Whether you like it or not, it does happen in school, especially secondary. Now, I seriously doubt your child has anything to teach mine, your attitude considering.

Teenagers are tactile, they have intense friendships and learning about appropriate touching happens within their friendship groups. It's when they learn how and if to give a hug to a friend who's been dumped, how far horseplay can go, and so on.

You might think you have taught them everything at home, but they need to experience the situations in order to use what they've learned.