Daughter has wrecked the walls

[whatthehell1e]

8 year old daughter in a tantrum as I told her off for her behaviour yesterday (she painted the wardrobe in my room with her paints). I walked upstairs and she has sprayed her room, my room, hallway and her brother’s wall in baby oil. Whole brand new bottle. I have wiped it with towels but it’s not coming off. It looks like it has but after 5th attempt the wall dries but oil marks very visible. I’m really stressed. We cannot afford to decorate it all and it looks horrendous. I actually thought it was damp before I saw the empty oil bottle.

It sounds like you may need to claim on your insurance and get it repaired properly. That said, washing up liquid works wonders on oil stains.

De-solv it spray will surely work, stuffs absolutely magic.

Sugar soap (in very warm water) can work miracles, I'd try that!

Buy some blotting paper put it against a patch of oil and put a hot iron on the blotting paper, I did this when I splashed cooking oil on the wallpaper in the kitchen, it worked.
Your walls are ruined already so it's worth a try

What’s sugar soap?

also side note is this behaviour a sign of something?

yes, this level of lack of self control and misbehavior (revenge) would be concerning to me.

Well it's a sign of something that's for sure. How is your relationship with her in general? How is her behaviour in general? How does she get on at school?

She’s very well behaved and popular in school. I will write more in her behaviour and give examples in a new thread maybe but right now I know it sounds strange I’m devasted by the walls. They look horrendous. I need to tackle the stains firstly. I’ve taken her iPad off her for the rest of the week. Other consequences I need to think of tomorrow.

Popular 🧐

Maybe get her to help you clean the walls, don't give her consequences tomorrow

I agree and there would be serious consequences for spraying a bottle of baby oil everywhere. White vinegar is good for oil stains, it worked on my kitchen wall when I spilled a bottle of olive oil.

She should be helping you scrub the walls. To be honest, I'd make her scrub the walls even if it was a fruitless exercise.

And yes that behaviour is concerning - both the paint and the oil. Can she explain to you why she did it - what her train of thought was or wasn't? Did she lose control. If this isn't an isolated one-off incident then I would definitely mark this as something to do something about.

My DS's did similar things as toddlers
( usually involving Sudocrem) but I'd say it's fairly unusual for an 8 year old
Attention seeking anger or revenge all possible reasons
Does she calm down doing a quiet activity like reading generally or is it part of her personality?
Sugar soap would probably help with the walls

Do you have baby oil because of a new baby? Could they be connected?

I wouldn't really be thinking about consequences with something as serious as this. I would be sitting her down for a serious talk because I'd want to know what the hell was the matter. Is this a recent thing?

I should say I wouldn't be starting with consequences/ punishments

Make her scrub the walls. She won’t do it again.

I'm sorry but I would go fucking nuclear over this.

DD used to do things like this in a rage, she is ND.

One thing I would say is to try to ensure your level of reaction/consequence is based on how bad her intention was, rather than how bad the damage is. In this case, she probably had no idea it would do more damage than water, so I’d try to react as if it was water. Still really bad behaviour, still should be consequences, but not based on the fact it’s caused permanent damage as that bit was unintended. (Plus of course ongoing work to help her react more appropriately when she is angry.)

Good luck with the stains.

I agree about trying a degreaser like washing up liquid.

Zinsser do a very good degreaser in a spray bottle if you're near a DIY store that stocks it, but if not I'd try with washing up liquid asap to try and stop it getting any worse tonight.

What cleaning products have you tried so far when you wiped it with towels? Don't want to suggest something that might react with something you've already used!

I'd also be making DD help clean. Even as PP said if it's not working. Hopefully it would make her realise how serious it is if it's her time being used / wasted trying to clean it.

The consequences need to be linked with her actions.

Removing her iPad is unconnected.

Cleaning the walls (whether it works or not) is a much more logical consequence and will be more effective.

If she gets pocket money, I would use that to pay for any products needed. I would take her with you to B&Q (or wherever) so she can actually hand her money over and see the direct consequence of her actions.

Hi OP worst case scenario Zinnsner (sp?) primer is superb at covering oil based stains! Shop around as the price varies widely and don't panic about it looking like milk 🤣 First coat you'll be asking why you wasted your money but after a second or third you will see why you bought it. I've never needed more than 3 coats on anything... Recoat time is 45 minutes so wrap up your brush or roller until it's time for the next layer so you only need to clean up with white spirit once (or chuck the brush/ sleeve 😉) Good luck, hopefully you find another solution without repainting 🤞

Give her a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth and put her to work
If she can work out right from worng at 8 she can clean.

There is no way she should be allowed sit and watch you try solve the mess she made.

if you are cleaning so is she.

Sugar soap

https://www.diy.com/search?term=sugar+soap

Just Google it. Great stuff for cleaning walls.

Why the hell does any 8 year old need an iPad - never mind taking it away - there’s problem 1, there.

Also agree with this she needs to fix it or repair and charge her and she can spend the next year or longer paying it off