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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hosting loud teenager parties in gardens in residential streets

303 replies

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 17:55

Is this reasonable?

Next door neighbour has given us (and the street) a few days notice of a party that will go on until 12am with loud music and lots of cars arriving /departing. Not enough time to get a room somewhere unfortunately.

I have two primary aged kids and early plans on Sunday morning. Honestly would never be so selfish and would always hire a hall, but I have a feeling I’m in the minority.

AIBU to feel peevish?

OP posts:
NalafromtheLionKing · 05/09/2023 17:56

No, very selfish. I would just never do that.

Childhoodmemories · 05/09/2023 17:57

There are noise laws they have to abide by past 11pm.

Austrich · 05/09/2023 17:58

Having a party on a Saturday, setting a noise curfew of midnight, and informing your neighbours in advance is the way reasonable people have parties. They're doing it right.

Presumably this doesn't happen all the time. Your kids will likely sleep through it. What time were you planning on setting off on Sunday?

PickoftheMix · 05/09/2023 17:58

If it's a one off party then yabu. Most don't give their neighbours the curtesy of giving their neighbours a few days warning either!

rookiemere · 05/09/2023 17:58

It's one night. They told you in advance, just wear earplugs.

LlynTegid · 05/09/2023 17:59

Perhaps send a copy to the local authority or whoever is responsible for noise enforcement in your area, in advance. Also if you think there is anyone likely to drink and drive, or any hint of drug taking, call the police straight away on the evening.

TropicalTrama · 05/09/2023 17:59

If it’s something like an 18th birthday party and is a real one-off then I’d have no issue whatsoever and would wish them well.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/09/2023 17:59

If they do this rarely then YABU.

ReadySalty · 05/09/2023 17:59

Some one on our street had a party until 2a
Last night.

If couldn't sleep due to all the shouting and squawking and shrieking. It was teenagers I'm guessing from their complete lack of consideration for anyone else.

We weren't given any notice.

PinkRoses1245 · 05/09/2023 18:00

If a one off / rarely; YABU. They’re allowed a party in their own house and it’s nice they’ve told you. Get some ear plugs

PinkRoses1245 · 05/09/2023 18:01

LlynTegid · 05/09/2023 17:59

Perhaps send a copy to the local authority or whoever is responsible for noise enforcement in your area, in advance. Also if you think there is anyone likely to drink and drive, or any hint of drug taking, call the police straight away on the evening.

Please don’t do this if you want to maintain a good relationship with neighbours

rubyslippers · 05/09/2023 18:01

They’ve given you notice which is polite
they’ve told you when it will finish
its one off - maybe for a special occasion so whilst you may be aggravated it’s something you have to put up with
if it’s going on well beyond midnight then obvs you can call 101 etc

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 05/09/2023 18:02

I think that's ok. I think when you live on a residential street there has to be a bit of live and let live. I agree with the PP who said that they are totally doing it in the right way.
Teens don't have parties in halls like young children do, and many teens are too young for pubs and clubs so I don't know where else they are supposed to have a party.
If it's a one off, you have been notified and they stick to the curfew then I think it's totally fine. Good neighbourly behaviour I think!

bellac11 · 05/09/2023 18:02

LlynTegid · 05/09/2023 17:59

Perhaps send a copy to the local authority or whoever is responsible for noise enforcement in your area, in advance. Also if you think there is anyone likely to drink and drive, or any hint of drug taking, call the police straight away on the evening.

Send a copy of what?

To who?

To do what with it?

Anyone likely to be drinking and driving, what like any random person on the street?

Did you think this through when you posted this?

Whiskeywithwater · 05/09/2023 18:02

Teenagers do NOT want a party in a hall .. house parties are the thing! To be fair, at least they’ve given you notice .. it’s at the weekend and if it’s a one off a would suck it up. You will soon enough enter the realm of teenage parties and it’s amazing to remember what you said you’d never do !
we had one gut my DD 16th in the garden this year. It was a Saturday, we told all the neighbours (flowers, wine & chocs for immediate neighbours) and made sure it was done and everyone gone by the time we’d said (11.30)

Pleasenowthatsenough · 05/09/2023 18:03

I think they’ve been pretty reasonable. Where I live there would be no such consideration.

Megapint · 05/09/2023 18:03

I can't see a problem with that at all on a Saturday night. I suspect you'll view it differently when you have teens yourself. Teens like to hang out with friends, play music, chat & laugh. Maybe even enjoy a couple of beers. As a parent, I'd much rather have them do it in my back garden than down the park.

KitchenDancefloor · 05/09/2023 18:04

They sound like lovely neighbours for giving you notice.

Your children will be teens one day. You'll appreciate having chilled out neighbours if they want to make some noise.

doroda · 05/09/2023 18:06

A one off, on a Saturday, ending at midnight, with notice - seems quite reasonable to me.

BoohooWoohoo · 05/09/2023 18:08

It's a one off and they warned you which is reasonable imo.
If it was regular say monthly then you'd be right to be pissed off.
When you have teens and host parties at your house, you will be grateful for some understanding. Teens don't have parties in halls.

Pix56 · 05/09/2023 18:09

Gather the neighbours and get the pitchforks out. Bonus points for making sure the stocks are ready with plenty of rotting fruit and veg.

Doingmybest12 · 05/09/2023 18:09

I would think that as they've bothered to give you notice they are also likely to try and keep noise within reasonable limits. The issue is though that even normal talking carries at night. If it''s a one off then that's just part of life I think .

Maddy70 · 05/09/2023 18:10

It's a party on a Saturday. They are giving you advance notice. To be polite. Its not unreasonable once in a while. When did people get so miserable?

Maddy70 · 05/09/2023 18:12

rubyslippers · 05/09/2023 18:01

They’ve given you notice which is polite
they’ve told you when it will finish
its one off - maybe for a special occasion so whilst you may be aggravated it’s something you have to put up with
if it’s going on well beyond midnight then obvs you can call 101 etc

Or you could just knock on the door and ask then to turn it down rather than involve police for a one off

foolishone · 05/09/2023 18:13

LlynTegid · 05/09/2023 17:59

Perhaps send a copy to the local authority or whoever is responsible for noise enforcement in your area, in advance. Also if you think there is anyone likely to drink and drive, or any hint of drug taking, call the police straight away on the evening.

Are you 'that' neighbour?

This is ridiculous.