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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hosting loud teenager parties in gardens in residential streets

303 replies

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 17:55

Is this reasonable?

Next door neighbour has given us (and the street) a few days notice of a party that will go on until 12am with loud music and lots of cars arriving /departing. Not enough time to get a room somewhere unfortunately.

I have two primary aged kids and early plans on Sunday morning. Honestly would never be so selfish and would always hire a hall, but I have a feeling I’m in the minority.

AIBU to feel peevish?

OP posts:
OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 05/09/2023 19:31

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:12

In all seriousness why do kids who qualify to drink age wise no longer go anywhere?

What's wrong with home?

Used to be that teens would rarely be at home

They can't win though....can they!?

RojoCarlottaValdez · 05/09/2023 19:32

YANBU. Nobody would do that where I live - Some parents would club together and hire the village hall and have a party there, or any number of little venues, The thing is when you live in a community where you know everyone, you absolutely wouldn't risk upsetting anyone by having a loud party in your garden like a selfish twat, as they are all your friends, one way or another. A lot of people think differently in different communities and places though.

MrsDoylesLastTeabag · 05/09/2023 19:32

I agree with you, OP. There is something wrong with people who can't enjoy themselves unless they are making noise at a volume that can be heard in other people's homes. Unnecessary noise is a scourge and a health hazard.

Yet, it is a weird cultural norm in the UK (and on mumsnet, which is insanely permissive about noise pollution and yet uptight about all kinds of other stuff). Try doing similarly in Switzerland or Germany (both countries I've lived in and found more civilised) and you'd get short shrift.

Ginisatonic · 05/09/2023 19:33

I’m really intolerant of other people making noise but I wouldn’t have a problem with this. And they’ve had the manners to let you know. If it was every weekend I’d see your point.
Halls in this area will not rent for teenage parties.

Janiie · 05/09/2023 19:35

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. Who tf warns the whole street, what on earth are they expecting?

Ours had parties in halls and other venues. If they had friends over for a bbq or to camp we certainly didn't have to warn everyone within a mile radius.

Just give it til 11pm then ring 101 get the local pcso to come along to get them to shut up and move along.

mewkins · 05/09/2023 19:35

I'd be ok with it if it finished at midnight. My kids would sleep through it anyway.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:36

RojoCarlottaValdez · 05/09/2023 19:32

YANBU. Nobody would do that where I live - Some parents would club together and hire the village hall and have a party there, or any number of little venues, The thing is when you live in a community where you know everyone, you absolutely wouldn't risk upsetting anyone by having a loud party in your garden like a selfish twat, as they are all your friends, one way or another. A lot of people think differently in different communities and places though.

That’s how I view this also. You hire a venue and piss off no one.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 05/09/2023 19:37

I was just reading a post in my local FB group announcing they're having a party for their daughter's 18th on Saturday. One person isn't too happy due to having young children.

I think if it's once in a while and they give you notice it's okay. In 10 years time it might be your kids asking for a party in the garden.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 05/09/2023 19:37

Yabu.

It’s a one-off. The kids have got to go somewhere and I’d rather they were home.

OneCup · 05/09/2023 19:37

Very annoying but if these are generally good neighbours, I wouldn't say anything and hope they return the favour one day.

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 05/09/2023 19:37

After 6 weeks of shrieking kids and endless barbecues I don't think one party would make any difference to me

You are not very tolerant. It's not a good look

electriclight · 05/09/2023 19:38

Well I wouldn't be thrilled either but part of living in a community involves enduring other people's reasonable levels of noise.

A rare party, with advance notification and a cut off time seems considerate to me.

If they were often, spontaneous and without warning I'd be more sympathetic.

And I think going to a hotel would be overkill. It's one night, until midnight. Keep your kids up a bit later than usual watching a movie or something, then bed with earplugs, or white noise, or patience.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:41

Not a good look 🤣

I literally plan on sucking it up and hoping my kids will be able to sleep in their hot little rooms with the windows shut.

i don’t plan on ringing the police, the council or putting a post on the local residents group. I’m literally the paragon of peeved tolerance. I would just never do it myself.

The gardens are also not particularly big. If they were I’d probably be less irritated. But fifty pissed teens in a small space, on a hot night feels like a crap night and following day for me.

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 05/09/2023 19:41

God I can't imagine being such a bloody killjoy. They've done all they can to be considerate and have the party. It's one night.

Tbh as a neighbour I'd not be bothered by this at all but I'd be raising my eyebrows at anyone moaning about it (and wondering why young kids don't play in their own garden)

I8toys · 05/09/2023 19:43

Meh - you'll have teenagers one day. Live and let live.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:44

Hang on. I have to take issue with the personal attacks. What exactly have I done to be accused of being a killjoy? You are upset that I write a post on a message board literally telling you I’m irritated? You think my thoughts are literal violence I assume?

OP posts:
zeibesaffron · 05/09/2023 19:44

Perfectly reasonable if not every weekend, your early morning sunday plans are not more important than their saturday night plans I’m afraid.

YABU

Janiie · 05/09/2023 19:44

'God I can't imagine being such a bloody killjoy. They've done all they can to be considerate and have the party. It's one night.

Telimg people you are going to cause a disturbance for hours is not being considerate. Not causing a disturbance would be being considerate.

It's hot windows are open who wants to hear a load of shouting teens until the early hours and i bet it won't be over at midnight.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:45

zeibesaffron · 05/09/2023 19:44

Perfectly reasonable if not every weekend, your early morning sunday plans are not more important than their saturday night plans I’m afraid.

YABU

Evidently not! Lol

OP posts:
GingerIsBest · 05/09/2023 19:46

I'm constantly surprised at how mean spirited people are. A teenager is having a once off party, on a Saturday night... and it's an issue?

the last time a teenager had a party on our street, DH and I entertained ourselves by by cautiously peering out the window and chuckling at how self conscious they all looked as they turned up.

The last time a particularly loud party was audible from our house we're guessing it was a 40th or 50th - lots of cheesy 80s dance tunes. We landed up having a little dance party ourselves!

I can't get worked up about this once every now and again.

Janiie · 05/09/2023 19:46

I8toys · 05/09/2023 19:43

Meh - you'll have teenagers one day. Live and let live.

I've had them. I've never had to warn a load of neighbours that we are going to cause a racket all night and they all have very active social lives.

Marblessolveeverything · 05/09/2023 19:47

I would expect a rare party or two at home. COL and the closing of a lot of places here mean they are the default. They don't bother me, I am sure one day mine will want a party.

A party at home costs so little compared to room hire, catering, etc

Qilin · 05/09/2023 19:48

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 19:12

In all seriousness why do kids who qualify to drink age wise no longer go anywhere?

Cost? It's not cheap to drink out these days. It's also not cheap to hire a venue.

Not all friend being of the same age. Much harder if they have friends who aren't yet 18. This is also an issue if you hire a hall, etc. Drinking by 16/17y would be restricted compared to them being able to have a drink in a private home.

Want a party made up of just their friends, rather than being in a venue with other people.

Want it be able to dance, etc to their own music.

Want a party where they can mingle, mix, some be inside, some out, with food and drinks - easier in a house than a bar with others.

Ime, no teens are going to hire your local church hall and have a buffet, a disco and a table of drinks.

Having friends round to the house for food and drinks is not unusual ime. And it isn't a new thing either. When I was a sixth former house parties were a thing - and that's over 30 years ago!

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2023 19:48

What have you done to be accused of being a killjoy? You’ve come online to winge that your very considerate neighbours have given you multiple days notice of a one off gathering at their house, because you have plans early the following morning.

you also more generally complained about anybody using their own house / garden to socialise with their friends!

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 05/09/2023 19:49

Your kids will survive I'm sure