Hosting loud teenager parties in gardens in residential streets

[RudsyFarmer]

Is this reasonable?

Next door neighbour has given us (and the street) a few days notice of a party that will go on until 12am with loud music and lots of cars arriving /departing. Not enough time to get a room somewhere unfortunately.

I have two primary aged kids and early plans on Sunday morning. Honestly would never be so selfish and would always hire a hall, but I have a feeling I’m in the minority.

AIBU to feel peevish?

Please don't be this person. Your kids will be teensgers one day.

Sounds very reasonable to me.

Did you never go to parties?

When I was a tween yes. We used to go to pubs and clubs but of course no one goes out anymore. Everything is at home instead

‘Everything is at home’ because there is nowhere for U18’s to go. When I was aged 15 to 17 I would go to the local Rugby Club disco every Saturday and have a few larger and limes. These things just don’t happen any more and on the rare occasions they do, U18’s cannot access alcohol. If your neighbour’s kids aren’t allowed a party at home, they may well be drinking in a local field or park - because there’s nowhere for them to go!

In all seriousness why do kids who qualify to drink age wise no longer go anywhere?

I know!
My personal irritant is when new people move into a neighborhood and get the local music venues shut down or church bells stopped. And children not being allowed to play out in the street and just be children because miserable neighbors demand absolute silence.

It’s a one off, they have given you warning, it’ll be fine. I’m sure as a teen you attended parties like that once in a while. I know I did.

or you could have one of my old neighbours who had parties like that 7 days a week, police called numerous evenings and another neighbour booked into a premier inn locally to get some sleep on some weekends. No respect or care for anyone who actually had a job.

YABVU. Intolerant party pooper misery guts you.

I have said this before on mumsnet but it seems relevant again here...

We are are not entitled to have everything the way we like it all the time.

Have you no ideas why that would be?

Also, why can't you get a room somewhere, you haven't explained why you don't have enough time?

I bet they don't. Poor kids.

I did look but for a family of four a room won’t work and a place with enough beds would be around £180 minimum. There also wasn’t anywhere local and I think I’d we travelled AND forked out to stay somewhere I really would be grumpy about it as opposed to being peevish and resigned.

🤣

They sound like good neighbours tbh for letting you know.

It's one night out of 365. Buy some ear plugs and remember what it was like to be young, happy and carefree. Even if they're still partying at 2am and you (hypothetically) wake up at 6am that's probably still more sleep than you got when your kids were babies tbh...

In all seriousness why do kids who qualify to drink age wise no longer go anywhere?

As ‘kids’ cannot drink until they’re 18, I think you’ll find they are ‘Adults’. How many pubs do you know that have closed down? It’s 50% in my small part of the world.

As the mother of a 15 and almost 18 year old, they have a couple of parties at home per year. DD has sadly been completely pissed, ambulance needed, in a field this summer. I’d much rather her party at home than be pissed in a field again.
DS wont be able to afford a pub or club regularly when he’s 18.

You will undoubtedly become more tolerant the closer your DC’s get to teenage years.

Oh for gods sake if it’s a one off event for a special birthday and they’ve warned you and it’s ending at midnight get over yourself. Your own precious poppets will be teens soon enough and the boot will be in the other foot!

Exactly. And what's all this nonsense about it being a new thing for teens to have parties at home? I'm 51 and went to loads of house parties as a teen. Fwiw I have teens, who have never had a loud house party at home. But neither would I have got ants in my pants about a neighbour's teen having a big birthday party when my dc were little. Live and let live.

My ds is 18 at the weekend. He is the oldest in his year. Will be 11 months until all his friendship group are also 18. halls locally will not hire for 18th birthdays. He can’t go to the pub or a club because they are 18 years minimum but many locally are 21+
So he’s having 16 (including him) friends over. From 5 to 11. All gone by 11.30 at latest.
do I wish he was just going to the pub like I did? Yes. Entirely and totally. But then I’d been going to the pub from age 16 ish. Different times.

I’m sober these days, but still relieved that I’m not your neighbour ….

You are not being unreasonable. Boys parties in gardens are selfish.
They should hire a hall if they are planning a noisy party
And letting people know doesn't make it ok, it doesn't make the noise go away.

If it's a one off party on a Saturday then I don't think they're being unreasonable.

If it was every weekend I'd think it was unreasonable.

Sometimes people have weekend parties. Conversely, young children and babies cry and scream in the night at times and keep other neighbours awake.

It's just what you get living in close build residential areas.

Are you living in my head lol? That’s what I think!

It's a party ....
Why do they have to go. somewhere?
If they're 18 where do you think they'll get the money from to go out, They can buy drinks for the whole night for the price of one in a nightclub

Also if it's an 18th parents can keep an eye on them , no-one getting spiked etc. Just wait until yours are this age and then come back on this thread

I also remember going to house parties as a teen. They were in houses, not gardens.

And the music was played at a volume where people could talk and hear each other.

The idea of putting high volume outdoor speakers into a garden and treating it like a disco just wouldn’t have been tolerated by parents or neighbours.

Nowadays, where adults want to emulate teens, rather than bringing teens up to be responsible adults, I am not surprised so many feel teens’ desire to have fun trumps adults and young children’s need to have a decent night’s sleep.

It is worth repeating that , globally, this is not the norm. Most countries have strict and enforced rules about noise at night (in Paris, this is from 8PM. Do you think all Parisians are incapable of having ‘fun’?

Only boys parties?
Girls parties ok?

🤣

These personal comments are funny. We are ticking great neighbours. No loud parties or inconsiderate parking. Well behaved kids. Often out. Keep gardens tidy. Don’t use leaf blowers or chain saws. Not gossipy. God I wish I lived on a street full of us!

No dog so no unsociable barking either!!

Some absolutely wonderful mumsnet madness relies on this post, I’m very much enjoying them.

it’s a party, you’ve had fair notification and it’s a one off.

what kind of affluent teens do you know that can afford to hire a hall for every social occasion?