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Original poster

To consider putting my toddler in the bin?

164 replies

inthvalley · 04/09/2023 16:43

Obviously lighthearted. But oh dear god, please, someone tell me when this hell that is parenting a toddler gets easier?

My 2.5 year old DD is beautiful, sweet, funny and very intelligent. On the flip side of that, she is also an actual demon. She doesn't sleep, she fights almost everything I try to do with her - nappy changes, getting in the car, out of the car, you name it - it's a fight. The tantrums are unbearable at times. Today I just stood there at the park there after several unsuccessful attempts to reason with / placate her, while she lay on grass kicking an screaming something incoherent and refusing to put her shoes on. It went on for 15-30 long minutes. I just stood there fighting back tears while people walked past and stared. I am in a permanent state of foggy brained, sleep deprived exhaustion and burn out, to such an extent that I cannot think in coherent sentences anymore. I dread my days off with her, because I'm too drained to do this anymore. I have no patience with her because it's just so overwhelming. I'd say around 70-80% of my day is hard work and overwhelming, and the other 20-30 is alright / good. Is this normal??

Does this get any easier? Please someone tell me when, before I put her in the bin. 😫

OP posts:
Stormyweathr · 06/09/2023 09:45

My friend had a permanent battle trying to get her little girl dressed for school of a morning (we are taking 3 years straight) her little girl used to refuse point blank, throw a tantrum and then the whole house would be disrupted before the day had even began. Just to add there was no issues in school she just preferred to stay at home and play

in the end my friend was literally at the end of her tether so one day so when her daughter refused to get dressed she just said said fine get in the car (her little girl thought she had won and had earned herself a day off school) my friend got to the school car park to drop the other kids off and said to her daughter ‘right come on then let’s go’ her daughter replied with ‘but I am in pjs’ her response was ‘that’s because you didn’t want to get dressed’ she marched her daughter into school in pjs and told the teachers how fed up she was that for 3 years she had a battle getting her dressed in a school uniform everyday. The teachers understood and told her daughter she would have to sit in the headmasters office because she wasn’t wearing her uniform.

She left her there and low and behold she got a phone call a hour later asking her to bring her daughter’s uniform to school as she had decided she wanted to get dressed.

she never argued again and was up and dressed tantrum free every morning

Elaina87 · 06/09/2023 12:17

Just don't have another one.... I can't even explain the exhaustion and sheer overwhelm I'm feeling right now with a 5 year old and a baby.

maddiemookins16mum · 06/09/2023 13:24

Don’t overdo the placating, bargaining, pleading or being nice basically. Pick her up and take her home. Won’t put shoes on? Not going out then.
Is she ready for pants if she won’t endure a nappy change?

mustardrarebit · 06/09/2023 15:46

My girls have all had rough phases at different ages. 1st was 4, 2nd was 3 and 3rd has just turned 3 and is an absolute angel so far. I'm certain the 4's are going to be rocky! I'd suggest toilet training and getting a Yoto player to play stories, sleep music, podcasts etc at bedtime. It helps all 3 of mine sleep (aged between 10 and 3).

Johnnybegood2 · 06/09/2023 18:55

I feel you, my 2 year old (nearly 3) has a meltdown and then I have to try and get her to calm in order to actually understand what she is saying as its so squeaky I can't catch it. This all further infuriates her. No where near as bad as she was when she just turned 2 mind. She had a meltdown in the park while I stood rocking a newborn, hair disheveled, bags under my eyes and mentally barely there lol 😆 I must have looked bonkers.

This too shall pass, they change ans grow so quickly. Hang in there.

Twoboys2023 · 06/09/2023 21:08

The book that absolutely changed the way I look at parenting my toddler was Hunt Gather Parent - highly recommend it! Toddlers are irrational, wonderful, highly exhausting little beings. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job and it’s totally normal to feel how you feel! I suggest this book because at the start the author describes feeling exactly how you do. She gives very useful tips that really helped us to see a change. Shorter tantrums, fewer tantrums and a happier time at home

Lauren87654 · 06/09/2023 23:18

Won't help you much this time, but I would fully recommend learning to sign if you have another in the future. I really think that is a large part in why our toddler has largely been so calm, her communication has been amazing since she was tiny, despite her being a late talker.
Also similar on the choices to what others have mentioned. But I use things like 'do you want to sit on the step to put on your shoes or on mummy's lap?' Or 'shall we go to the toilet first or brush your teeth?' However like someone else said I also wonder if we have just got very lucky, I do suspect child temperament plays a part, while we're thinking that this calm and compliant toddler is a result of fantastic parenting skills 😂 Don't worry though, our second is due later this year, even from how different the pregnancy has been I'm convinced we are going to have a devil child next as our punishment 🤣

gemma19846 · 07/09/2023 16:51

Toddler groups and play centres kept me going its actually easier than being stuck in the house alone with a toddler. Maybe consider putting her in nursery a couple of mornings a week too? It will do you both good

gemma19846 · 07/09/2023 16:59

Also choose your battles and whats worth getting annoyed over and what isnt. Girls are very strong willed. Its hard work but i wouldnt change my daughter for the world. She will always stand up for herself

Star73 · 07/09/2023 20:49

Mum friends with kids at the same stage as yours that you can rant to and wine. Lots of wine 😂

aloris · 08/09/2023 01:07

Wow, that thread is a gift!

Nat6999 · 08/09/2023 02:05

Toddlers get worse when they learn to say no & ask why, if they aren't refusing to do something, they are asking how the clouds stay in the sky.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/09/2023 07:53

bengalcat · 04/09/2023 16:47

It gets better way before 22 - we’ve all been there , crack on

I'm not sure it does! 😂

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