If my 3yo had access to AIBU...
allhailtheaubergine · 15/09/2011 17:25
AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?
Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).
Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.
I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?
Several posts later [dripfeed]:
Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.
MrGin · 15/09/2011 17:27
That is very funny :o
Icelollycraving · 15/09/2011 17:28
Yanbu miniaubergine. She sounds a tyrant.
WoofToYouTooLady · 15/09/2011 17:29
squeakytoy · 15/09/2011 17:29
very well written
silverfrog · 15/09/2011 17:29
Sookeh · 15/09/2011 17:30
You should leave her!
HowlingBitch · 15/09/2011 17:31
ViviPru · 15/09/2011 17:31
All Hail allhailtheaubergine. I think I love you a bit.
mrspear · 15/09/2011 17:35
That is genius!
lostlady · 15/09/2011 17:36
as a three year myself I am very impressed with the consistent and strong way you have dealt with what is clearly a difficult woman- YADNBU
ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 15/09/2011 17:37
Superb. OP, I think you have grounds for suing her for mental cruelty. I would.
InstructionsToTheDouble · 15/09/2011 17:37
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MumblingRagDoll · 15/09/2011 17:38
What a horrible thing for her to do!
She is obviously a self obsessed OCD type.
Next time you want a cutted up pear, get a stool and climb up to the bowl...then take a bite from every pear in there...that will also learn her!
weneedabiggerboat · 15/09/2011 17:41
What would really learn her - is if you took said pear, squished it and rubbed it over the tv!
Byeckerslike · 15/09/2011 17:44
Ha ha ha!
Actually quite a few posts on here recently seem to have been written by 3 year olds ;)
All hail the aubergine!
Mishy1234 · 15/09/2011 17:44
Very funny. Brightened up my day, thanks OP!
MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 15/09/2011 17:45
TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 17:45
TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 17:46
GUSSETS by the way - fab use of AIBU IMO :o
allhailtheaubergine · 15/09/2011 17:48
Thank you, there is some good advice here. I like the idea of taking a bite out of every pear in the bowl because that then gives me scope later on to furiously reject the pears on the grounds that someone has bited them. I think that random inconsistency is important if I'm going to get through to her.
I also like the pear on television plan - it's funny you should mention the television because that is one of our trigger points for disagreement; she has these funny ideas about me not trying to push it over. Once she even tried to stop me from throwing all of my cars at it, even though I was being Spiderman at the time .
Fuzzywood · 15/09/2011 17:50
SouthernFriedTofu · 15/09/2011 17:50
as nearly 8month dd of SFT I would have taken the pear mushed in to nothing then wiped it on my hair in my nappy through my clothes and then threw the rest on the floor. Throwing the stuff seems a bit amature and it is easily swept up. You'll learn.
oh and don't kick the shins- grab mums nipple and turn it like a door knob. She will make a pleasing squeal and cry a bit.
MrsPlesWearsAFez · 15/09/2011 17:51
May I be the first to say... Leave the bastard
5inthebed · 15/09/2011 17:52
You area a genious! I am going to use the "peeing in pants" stance when my mam net tells me to out my willy away in public. I mean come on, who does not want to see my willy?!
TheLittlestInTheBed (aged 2.10)
caramelwaffle · 15/09/2011 17:53
Pears are for crushing into rugs, not eating. That'll learn you.
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