Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.

532 replies

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 08:51

DH 38 was sent a holiday picture of very posed "sausage leg" type picture from female work colleague (late 50s). Right up to the bikini line. His response was "A bit jealous, but wait til I get to my room".
I think this reads a certain way.
What do you think?
For context, we were on holiday too in a very nice hotel that he had been bragging about to her in previous messages. He says he was just going to show her pics of our room.
He never did. Messages stop there.
My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends.
My friend says it is suspicious as feck.

Aibu:
Yes- innocent messages.
No--suspicious messages.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
GarlicGrace · 04/09/2023 11:42

doroda · 04/09/2023 09:59

Wait until I show you my room/ wait until you see my room = he wants to show off the hotel

But, wait until I get to my room = I am going to wank over your pic

Oh, I'm glad someone else said that! I can't get excited about the leg photo thing, but his reply really jars with me.

I also find it weird that he doesn't say "our" room. But I know some couples avoid being coupley, so thought maybe I'm off-beam about that.

Vaguely sleazy banter is still pretty common at workplaces, even these days. Is DH's place like that, @PeaceGoodMercutio? Only you know all the context!

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 04/09/2023 11:42

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 09:09

I didn't reply.
I asked him and he was very defensive and said he was just going to show her how nice our room was.
Which I think sounds like bullshit.

Given the background you describe that’s what I assumed he meant.

PeppermintMandy · 04/09/2023 11:43

maddening · 04/09/2023 11:31

Yes, as per example pic above it is the view you would get if you laid your head on her stomach and looked down her body - the view would be the crotch and the thighs.

Show quote history

Nope, it is the view you get if you looked down at your legs while sat on a sun lounger.

I highly recommend you take a photo of your lower body while you have your phone on your stomach…not a sexy, flattering photo at all.

PeppermintMandy · 04/09/2023 11:45

GarlicGrace · 04/09/2023 11:42

Oh, I'm glad someone else said that! I can't get excited about the leg photo thing, but his reply really jars with me.

I also find it weird that he doesn't say "our" room. But I know some couples avoid being coupley, so thought maybe I'm off-beam about that.

Vaguely sleazy banter is still pretty common at workplaces, even these days. Is DH's place like that, @PeaceGoodMercutio? Only you know all the context!

Show quote history

Saying “our room” wouldn’t make grammatical sense in the context of the conversation.

“Wait til I get back to our room” makes it sounds like his and the colleagues room. He’d have to say “wait until I get back to my wife and I’s room” which sounds ridiculous.

L0bstersLass · 04/09/2023 11:47

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 11:11

I'm ignoring my husband.
Then she rang and texted.
I ignored them both.
She continued to ring, so I messaged her husband.
She has stopped ringing me.
I promise you I did not call her. I don't want to speak to her.

@PeaceGoodMercutio So this exchange of messages happened a number of days ago, and you saw it a number of days ago. I'm basing this as you said you'd been using his phone until hotel sent yours back a few days ago.

There's no evidence of him having sent her anything other than that one reply? No evidence of any deleted messages?

What's instigated you starting to ignore him now? Or have you been ignoring him since you saw the picture?
Has she texted out of the blue? Today? Has he asked her to text you?
This is all very strange.

Oldermum84 · 04/09/2023 11:47

"up to" the bikini line. Sausage leg photos generally do not show the crotch, that's why the legs are mistaken for sausages 🤣

Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.
OhmygodDont · 04/09/2023 11:48

I would have said. “Wait till I show you my room” 🤷🏻‍♀️

maddening · 04/09/2023 11:49

PeppermintMandy · 04/09/2023 11:43

Nope, it is the view you get if you looked down at your legs while sat on a sun lounger.

I highly recommend you take a photo of your lower body while you have your phone on your stomach…not a sexy, flattering photo at all.

Show quote history

The view depends on the angle - based on the op it was not just the legs.

The sexiness of the photo depends on the person, the angle and the filters.

Minfilia · 04/09/2023 11:50

Affair or not, who sends pictures of their hotel room, or of their legs, to work colleagues? That’s very odd behaviour!

Id be suspicious too.

GarlicGrace · 04/09/2023 11:50

Yeah, you're right, @PeppermintMandy.

I'm now reeling from OP's update, though. This has gone way past semantics!

Oldermum84 · 04/09/2023 11:52

OP seems to have gone AWOL without clarifying the crotch situation or saying what the text from this woman said....?

Butterflywings2 · 04/09/2023 11:53

Regardless of what was intended by your DH (I'm still 50/50 on that) I wouldn't be happy with another woman sending a hot dog legs pic to my partner unless it was a close friend or family member.

They may be "standard" holiday pics but not to send to a married man or your boss.

Poundfoolishpennywise · 04/09/2023 11:54

I don’t know, I don’t want to sound naive (I’m actually normally really suspicious of pretty much everything, lol) but I’m not sure I would disbelieve your DH. The “so jealous, but wait till I get to my room” part of his message does literally sound like banter and that they were comparing holidays/accommodation/perks. It’s not like he said “you look so hot, wait till I get to my room”. Plus, without sounding ageist, how likely is it that a woman in her late 50s would appeal sexually to a man in his late 30s? Before anyone jumps on me, I’m in my 40s myself and know that this does happen but it is not typical.

That said, I don’t think it is appropriate of HER to send such a photo showing her legs and bikini line and I would be cautious regarding her possible intentions towards him.

Areallywg · 04/09/2023 11:54

She is late 50s? Is she married? I am guessing it’s just banter

ShowersOfShite · 04/09/2023 11:56

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 10:46

I would hope someone would message me if it was the other way around.

I assumed banter from the start because as others have said, it's a bit if stereotypical holiday photo but your updates do make him look inappropriate even if the photo is just someone sending the type of photo I see people posting in my friendship chats or to friends and family on their social media, he's still behaving a bit shit.

Does he have this type of friendships with all the people he's the boss of? It may very well be all innocent banter but he should be aware of how it can look like to lots of people that something is going on, especially if he doesn't engage in this type of chat with several people at work. He doesn't sound very professional I guess.

There's also the added problem now that as you've contacted her partner, that partner could cause trouble at work if he thinks something sexual is going on, it can look like your husband has abused his position as her boss. Especially when you mention the bragging and boasting about himself to everyone too. Can this cost him his job?

It's probably not wise of your husband to cultivate such friendships in the workplace as and keep his messages to be about work and then nothing can be misconstrued and cause problems.

Oldermum84 · 04/09/2023 11:56

maddening · 04/09/2023 11:52

Show quote history

OP never said that. She said you could see the legs right up to the bikini line. I took that to mean the legs were seen up to the bottom (leg) part of the bikini, but not including the bikini. But I guess it could have meant you could see all the bikini up to the top. Only OP can clarify!

purplecorkheart · 04/09/2023 11:57

Sorry op but can I ask was there anything special about your hotel room? Although I must say I don't think that was his meaning. It is an inappropriate picture to send to your boss but his reply is as creepy as hell.

Oldermum84 · 04/09/2023 11:59

If the photo did include the crotch then that is way more sexual!

ChaToilLeam · 04/09/2023 12:00

Sleazy AF.

Your feet in the sand or whatever - fine. Lot of leg on show + potentially bikini - not fine.

And between a boss and employee? 🤮

Anniissa · 04/09/2023 12:07

In my experience it’s not uncommon - as someone above said it’s basically playing holiday top trumps. A male colleague sent photos of him on a sun lounger with a cocktail in hand (and showing his legs off) and no one took it as flirting just having a joke ie look at the great time I’m having while you’re stuck at home working…then someone else might send a pic of a swanky hotel room or of their view from the balcony etc

Bumcake · 04/09/2023 12:11

Minfilia · 04/09/2023 11:50

Affair or not, who sends pictures of their hotel room, or of their legs, to work colleagues? That’s very odd behaviour!

Id be suspicious too.

Lots of people, surely? I’ve done it. None of my flange to the boss though.

Nanny0gg · 04/09/2023 12:13

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 11:11

I'm ignoring my husband.
Then she rang and texted.
I ignored them both.
She continued to ring, so I messaged her husband.
She has stopped ringing me.
I promise you I did not call her. I don't want to speak to her.

If you want your marriage to end this is a hell of a way to go about it!

Have you children with you?

PuddlesPityParty · 04/09/2023 12:17

Stroopwaffels · 04/09/2023 11:12

That's the way I read it - your holiday might be nice, but wait until you see photos of my room!

Show quote history

This is how I read it. OP you’ve massively jumped the gun

WisherWood · 04/09/2023 12:18

“Wait til I get back to our room” makes it sounds like his and the colleagues room. He’d have to say “wait until I get back to my wife and I’s room” which sounds ridiculous.

It's also incorrect. You would say 'wait until I get back to my room' not 'wait until I get back to I's room'. Adding in the second person makes no difference to the grammar.

Anyway. Suspicious bit for me is the lack of return messages. Means he deleted them. It's all at best inappropriate. And it escalated very quickly.