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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.

532 replies

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 08:51

DH 38 was sent a holiday picture of very posed "sausage leg" type picture from female work colleague (late 50s). Right up to the bikini line. His response was "A bit jealous, but wait til I get to my room".
I think this reads a certain way.
What do you think?
For context, we were on holiday too in a very nice hotel that he had been bragging about to her in previous messages. He says he was just going to show her pics of our room.
He never did. Messages stop there.
My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends.
My friend says it is suspicious as feck.

Aibu:
Yes- innocent messages.
No--suspicious messages.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Itsvalentino · 04/09/2023 09:25

GoodVibesHere · 04/09/2023 09:18

He was telling her that he was going to wank in his room bcos she's so gorgeous/turns him on. Ewww what a disloyal creep.

That's where my mind went too....grim

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/09/2023 09:27

So you all automatically assume a 38 year old is shagging a woman 20 years older than him? How many men do you know who have affairs with women 20 years older ?

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/09/2023 09:29

Oh come on he wasn't going to send her a photo of his hotel room! Why on earth would anyone do that? I took it that he was either going to have a wank or to call her for some sexy time or to text her sexy messages. Sorry, I am cringing at the word sexy!

She is incredibly inappropriate, sending a photo like that to her boss. He is incredibly inappropriate for encouraging it and responding to it.

Do they work for a big organisation or does he own his own company?

MadamWhiteleigh · 04/09/2023 09:31

I had an exchange like this recently with a male friend. Joking about who was having the best holiday and making comparisons.

I didn’t include my legs in any of the shots though. I’d see that as a bit flirtatious. And def not with a colleague.

So she’s definitely being inappropriate but I wouldn’t say the exchange indicates an affair.

Heronwatcher · 04/09/2023 09:32

Hell would freeze over before I’d send something like that to a colleague at work! I’d say suspicious. Not to say that anything has happened yet but I think sausage leg lady is up to something- either massaging her ego or worse.

ToughFuss · 04/09/2023 09:33

Also there’s something inherently intimate (imo!) of talking about his room here, not his hotel, not the beach or pool or whatever, he talks about his bedroom. It just doesn’t sit right!

Highlyflavouredgravy · 04/09/2023 09:33

He was saying " you're showing off but wait until you see how swish my room is"

Slippersandacuppatea · 04/09/2023 09:34

Her sending the photo (which is mildly suggestive let’s face it) to her boss suggests their office ‘conversation’ has already crossed a line.

His answer is quite another level tho. It very much sounds like he’s saying don’t send anymore until I’m back alone in my room where I can make use of them. Grim.

The fact she hasn’t replied to it? Has he actually crossed an extra line with her? He could be in trouble. Or else they took it to another platform or a telephone call.

Hes having you on and you know it. Although I’m confused why your mum is wading in.
……

Janieforever · 04/09/2023 09:35

The bit jealous comment says to me not sexual. I mean it doesn’t fit does it?

HeatherMoores · 04/09/2023 09:39

Surely if he was going to show her his room he would have said ‘wait until you see my room’. I can’t think why you would say wait until I get to my room, unless it’s dodgy. It’s all quite odd sorry.
What are you going to do?

BigPussyEnergy · 04/09/2023 09:39

I had a photo like that sent to me, right from the crotch down. It was from my FWB and I assumed the angle was chosen on purpose to show me his (clothed) dick. I’d think this was massively inappropriate tbh.

and I’m not sure if anyone else has picked up on it, but he said “MY room” not “OUR room”?

clarebear111 · 04/09/2023 09:40

If he's her boss, I think it's particularly inappropriate. It's certainly not professional and he is playing with fire on that point alone.

It all looks a bit flirtatious to me tbh. I would be uncomfortable with it too, particularly given the context.

And I don't buy the 'wanting to show her the room' thing. There are sexual overtones there on my reading of it.

Stratocumulus · 04/09/2023 09:40

GoodVibesHere · 04/09/2023 09:18

He was telling her that he was going to wank in his room bcos she's so gorgeous/turns him on. Ewww what a disloyal creep.

This!^
Sorry to say, that’s how I would have taken it.
Legs, bikini line. The context is there.

BigPussyEnergy · 04/09/2023 09:40

And yes, see my room makes mush more sense if he was going to show it off. Get to my room sounds like something else entirely

IamnotSethRogan · 04/09/2023 09:42

I would take him at his word unless you have reason to think other wise. The context completely fits. I'd say the women was a bit inappropriate but if they'd been having banter about holidays at work then it's not completely off the mark, maybe a bit misjudged. Your DH probably didn't think that his message sounded that dodgy when he sent it.

Also I think if he thought he had dodgy messages on his phone, he would have deleted them if he was aware you were using his phone. He probably didn't think any more about it.

MerryBeard · 04/09/2023 09:42

My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends.

50 something women really punctuate their days with sending photos of their legs to colleagues? Relief at missing this life stage floods through me.

MadamWhiteleigh · 04/09/2023 09:42

Highlyflavouredgravy · 04/09/2023 09:33

He was saying " you're showing off but wait until you see how swish my room is"

I read it as this

NioNioNio · 04/09/2023 09:43

My thought was that he was going back to show how nice the room is....however is your room actually really nice with a nice view? IF not then i would say dodgy

Lampzade · 04/09/2023 09:48

I think the whole thing is inappropriate tbh.
To me it doesn’t matter whether he was suggesting that he was going for a wank or he was simply showing his room off.
This is his boss ( a female) and he is a married man. Their’ banter’ is may be misconstrued by others which is why one should always check one’s behaviour

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 04/09/2023 09:48

I'm 50, just got back from holiday and you can tell your Mum I've not sent a leg photo (or any photo), to my boss!

As for'I'm going to show her my room' haha yeah, does he think you were born yesterday the dirty fucker!

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 09:51

"He was saying "you're showing off but wait until you see how swish my room is"

Exactly. Can't see what's so confusing about it

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 09:51

"This is his boss ( a female) and he is a married man."

He's her boss

Planesmistakenforstars · 04/09/2023 09:52

So you all automatically assume a 38 year old is shagging a woman 20 years older than him? How many men do you know who have affairs with women 20 years older?

I don't think everyone is assuming an affair necessarily, but rather reading it as a very inappropriate message. And she might be an older woman who is stunning. Or she might not be, but we're bearing in mind that some men stick their knobs in hoover attachments, so it's not always a leap.

Lentilweaver · 04/09/2023 09:53

Totally inappropriate. Totally sleazy. My DH would be sacked if he did this. Plus I would lose all respect for him and probably leave. We are in our 50s. Not that this would be ok for any adult.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 04/09/2023 09:55

So did he in fact send her a photo of the room then? Surely that would be in the message thread straight after...