Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.

[PeaceGoodMercutio]

DH 38 was sent a holiday picture of very posed "sausage leg" type picture from female work colleague (late 50s). Right up to the bikini line. His response was "A bit jealous, but wait til I get to my room".
I think this reads a certain way.
What do you think?
For context, we were on holiday too in a very nice hotel that he had been bragging about to her in previous messages. He says he was just going to show her pics of our room.
He never did. Messages stop there.
My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends.
My friend says it is suspicious as feck.

Aibu:
Yes- innocent messages.
No--suspicious messages.

I personally read his message as innocent and would also be upset if my wife started accusing me of things that weren't true, especially if work was now getting involved.

There is nothing sexual about a sausage leg picture, even if it includes a bit of bikini line. We can go swimming with women without having the uncontrollable urge to go and knock one out straight after you know.

Regarding the viagra. Is it possible that he keeps a stash in the car in case you message him on the way home from work suggesting sex might be on the cards as soon as he arrives home? It takes approximately 40mins to kick in so is maybe being prepared?

If you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you are happy for her to send full leg photos and foot pics to her boss, that is up to you.
If she's happy for you to receive them from a female colleague, up to her.

My boundaries are my boundaries and are not up for debate.

What you now think your husband has a secret foot fetish???

I have plenty of messages which look like others have been deleted because I'm terrible at replying

I'm not trying to debate, just giving my opinion.

No. I think she thinks she has nice feet and she does.

But you've mentioned it like it's something weird...

I DO think it is weird to send your boss a picture of your feet.
I wouldn't do it, because it isn't professional. If someone asked how I was after my fall, my response just would never be to send a picture of my feet.
Do you honestly think that is a normal reaction?

I showed my (female) boss pictures of my legs when I got so sunburnt I could hardly walk. She found them hilarious.

There are very few circumstances under which I would send a colleague a photo of a body part, and definitely not as some kind of banter. It's not a case of whether or not I think it's normal - although I really don't - it's that I know it's open to interpretation and therefore better avoided.

There is nothing sexual about a sausage leg picture, even if it includes a bit of bikini line. We can go swimming with women without having the uncontrollable urge to go and knock one out straight after you know.

I honestly can't think of any other reason to recieve a picture of a bikini line other than sexual. Does the same apply when you recieve a picture of an employees cleavage? Believe me, your wife isn't THAT gullible, she knows.

If you have met this woman before what is your opinion of her character, is she naive and a bit silly, attention seeking, perhaps dosent understand boundaries, immature, insecure?

Erm... Not the classy type.
Gets very drunk in the local pubs and bars (bumped into her once with a friend and was a bit shocked). Comes to work hungover.

It's the difference between including and of. If somebody sent me a selfie of them smiling in front of a building and it included cleavage that would be fine. If they sent me a picture of cleavage that would not be acceptable.

Hotdog leg pictures are of legs and a background but sometimes do include some bikini line. That is not the same as a picture of a bikini line.

I think you're wilfully missing the point @Mr85

I think he's trying to derail the conversation so that us women don't get ideas about holding men accountable.

I'm the naughty one for telling off my husband about a perfectly reasonable picture. And involving his career! Get back in your place, wifey.

From your description of her behaviour she seems quite immature with possibly a few issues, however it can’t all be blamed on her…….has your husband admitted any responsibility in this…..I can’t respect people who don’t take responsibility for their actions and try and push the blame on others.

From what I have read so far there isn’t enough evidence for this event alone to be relationship ending, however I would be extremely peeved by it and would be monitoring him closely going forward.

He has apologised many times and said that they are friendly at work so perhaps it was flirtier than he realised, because from his perspective there is no attraction there so he didn't think about it in that way.
He is supportive and nurturing, so I would understand how that could come across as being interested romantically in her.
He agreed he should have told her not to send him pictures of her body and told her outright that it was inappropriate.

I've told him I'm monitoring him and obviously if anything else happens it is goodbye.

Good for you, op. I so wish more women on MN had your standards .
Fwiw, I do think your dh sounds OK though.

Sounds like he understands where he went wrong and how much upset it has caused you, hopefully he will learn from it.
Try and move on from it now and don’t hold it over him to much as everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
Maybe do something over the coming weekend to take both of your minds off it and start next week a new.

Sending feet pics? What an absolute attention-seeking beg!

Is she in trouble at work over sending pictures or something else?

She sounds very much the unprofessional type so this may very well be innocent and one sided after all. Good luck @PeaceGoodMercutio

Why on earth should she be in trouble at work for this and not your DH? Even if it's innocent, he's the senior of the two AND he gave her your number to contact you. Unless there's something else we don't know, that smacks of double standards.

She messaged her boss with a pic of her legs/crotch. That alone would be enough to get anyone in trouble. That alone would see her hauled up before HR and given a warning. The pic, on it's own is more than enough. Let alone the harassment of the OP.

It was her legs and a bit of bikini. It wasn't her bare breasts or anything else explicit like legs akimbo. They work in a school, and a teacher having a complaint against them is really, really serious. So why should she be held to teacher standards but not him? He didn't shut it down and he gave out his wife's personal data which inflamed the situation. The 'harassment' was at HIS prompting.