Page 17 | Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.

PeaceGoodMercutio · 2023-09-04T07:51:46+00:00

DH 38 was sent a holiday picture of very posed "sausage leg" type picture from female work colleague (late 50s). Right up to the bikini line. His response was "A bit jealous, but wait til I get to my room". I think this reads a certain way. What do you think? For context, we were on holiday too in a very nice hotel that he had been bragging about to her in previous messages. He says he was just going to show her pics of our room. He never did. Messages stop there. My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends. My friend says it is suspicious as feck. Aibu: Yes- innocent messages. No--suspicious messages.

Sauvblanctime · 04/09/2023 17:50

The crying, blaming you, threats to jump - an innocent man would not be doing any of this.

red flags

Sparkshaveflown · 04/09/2023 17:51

@sweeneytoddsrazor off topic and sorry for derail but- It does happen and I have seen it happen. Notable women in their 50's, Kylie, JLo, Helle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Vanessa Williams et all. A lot of 50+ women take great care of themselves now and a little bit of non surgical enhancement, look at least a decade younger. They are often more confident. In addition, i have also known a 48 yr old women chased by a very handsome 26 successful yr old ! Sorry but It happens.

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 17:53

PhilMitchellsleatherbomber · 04/09/2023 17:05

@Laiste I know also that these are celebs, but even mere mortal over 50s can be good looking/fit women.

Agreed, any woman who looks after herself can look good over 50, you don’t have to be a celeb to look great.

In my experience, as a woman over 50, there aren't that many who even come close - the worries and stress of a normal life see to that. Celebs are not a good standard by which to judge ordinary people because it is their job to maintain their looks/get plastic surgery/diet to within an inch of their lives - things that most ordinary people probably cba'd to do.

But perhaps we should stick to the subject in hand. I recall that OP said that sausage legs was not attractive, but she does sound like fun, and is obviously confident - both very attractive traits in and of themselves.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 04/09/2023 17:56

I don't think anyone involved is covering themselves in glory tbh

LemonTreeSkies · 04/09/2023 17:58

But she’s not 50 or 52 as so many posters keep saying. OP said she’s late 50s.
There could be 20 years between the colleague and OP’s DH.

ilovebrie8 · 04/09/2023 18:03

I don't think the age difference precludes anything being untoward! Sending pics like that to your boss isn't appropriate... my take on it as others have said is that he meant something sexual when he said wait 'til i get to my room! it's not a pic of scenery she sent...

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 18:05

Septemberdaysarehere · 04/09/2023 17:38

None of these are a normal response

hes totally guilty and they are both inappropriate

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Not normal? It depends on the person. OP should know her husband better than any of us and it's up to her to say if this is normal or not.

I have to say that OP does not sound like the gaslighted, abused person some PP's are suggesting,

OP, I wonder why you didn't talk to sausage legs? What she has to say might be enlightening. She might be mortified that she went too far and wants to apologise profusely. She might be devastated that she got your DH into such a state/trouble. Or not. You've just accepted what people on here have said about damage limitation without any legitimate reason to believe that is the case.

As another poster said the people egging you on will move onto other threads tonight and will right now be dining with their DH's and DC's while your DH is suicidal (and sometimes people threaten suicide because they feel extreme distress not just because they're guilty of a crime that MN randoms have decided they are guilty of). I speak as a survivor of DV not as an apologist for men before anyone bandies that around. I don't know what happened between your DH and sausage legs, but I am appalled that you allowed this to escalate on the say-so of random pp's.

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 18:07

VariantHela · 04/09/2023 16:56

He 100% sent a dick pic

And you are 100% sure of this because...

Inkpotlover · 04/09/2023 18:08

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 18:05

Not normal? It depends on the person. OP should know her husband better than any of us and it's up to her to say if this is normal or not.

I have to say that OP does not sound like the gaslighted, abused person some PP's are suggesting,

OP, I wonder why you didn't talk to sausage legs? What she has to say might be enlightening. She might be mortified that she went too far and wants to apologise profusely. She might be devastated that she got your DH into such a state/trouble. Or not. You've just accepted what people on here have said about damage limitation without any legitimate reason to believe that is the case.

As another poster said the people egging you on will move onto other threads tonight and will right now be dining with their DH's and DC's while your DH is suicidal (and sometimes people threaten suicide because they feel extreme distress not just because they're guilty of a crime that MN randoms have decided they are guilty of). I speak as a survivor of DV not as an apologist for men before anyone bandies that around. I don't know what happened between your DH and sausage legs, but I am appalled that you allowed this to escalate on the say-so of random pp's.

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Absolutely spot on. 👏

Lollypop701 · 04/09/2023 18:11

Colleagues send photos of scenery… not body parts.

I love that you went nuclear op… and I know a lot if people are saying op isn’t covered in glory but honestly if it’s all so innocent, if colleague’s dp is happy with her sending sausage legs to her boss as op is that her dh received them then it’s all ok??? Yep of course it’s not

Canthave2manycats · 04/09/2023 18:11

I think you have totally over-reacted here and your DH is devastated by it.

I've re-read the message several times, and it's jocular, "my holiday's better than your holiday, wait until you see my room!"

It was pretty inappropriate for her to send that photo to her boss, but maybe that's the culture of the organisation. Through work I deal with situations where workplace banter (both verbal and physical!) has got out of hand, or someone has finally taken offence.

There's a HUGE amount of context missing here yet so many posters have taken it upon themselves to egg you on when they know nothing about your or your husband. I think it's appalling.

People do stupid things. Maybe she had had a few cocktails. The viagra in the car probably had nothing to do with her.

Maybe you should listen to what Sausage Legs has to say. She and your husband are probably mortified.

Stop allowing yourself to be influenced by random posters online!! What man who needs Viagra is going to have a wank over his subordinate's legs? Really?!

FWIW I am 60 and I have great legs... but I wouldn't share a photo of them with my boss!!

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 18:13

@FullFatPhil Apologies for quoting you by mistake!

Canthave2manycats · 04/09/2023 18:13

I've seen friends share their lower leg sausage legs on social media, with nothing but a beach/the sea/blue sky.

I shared one myself while on holiday with my immediate family group.

It's not about the scenery - it's showing off the weather!!

LuciaPillson · 04/09/2023 18:21

Elderly (over 40) mumsnetters, I didn't want to have to talk to you about this again, but could you please stop taking your wrinkly, old legs to the beach or pool where there is a danger the younger folk could be forced to see them. Don't you know it could cause hysterical blindness, collywobbles and/or throwing up a little in their mouths? Please be more considerate and aware of your disgustingness and keep your bodies wrapped up in tinfoil tar and feathers towels or something so that no unsuspecting young person will have their mental and physical health ruined forever! Like poor wee Dani Mathers.

Moving on, I can't be the only one thinking that the sudden mention of viagra gives a whole new meaning to the term "drip feed".

And finally I am adding the useful phrase "wankable legs" to my vocabulary.

Original poster

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 18:24

They work in Education... It isn't that kind of organisation.

I haven't been "egged on".
I don't believe him. He has seriously broken my trust before, but about money not about flirting.
He had the same reaction then as now, turned out he was lying.
I told him it was his last chance.

OP posts:

Original poster

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 18:27

I don't actually think the viagra is related, but it could be!
Lots of things are now making me think twice.

OP posts:

RandomForest · 04/09/2023 18:30

I presume op that you have forwarded her the perfectly innocent picture of the top of her legs etc.

That's excellent, if she believes this is an innocent picture then her husband I'm sure will come to the same conclusion.

So why was she frantically trying to call you, I shoud imagine because this picture doesn't look entirely innocent and makes her look like a beg.

Inkpotlover · 04/09/2023 18:31

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 18:24

They work in Education... It isn't that kind of organisation.

I haven't been "egged on".
I don't believe him. He has seriously broken my trust before, but about money not about flirting.
He had the same reaction then as now, turned out he was lying.
I told him it was his last chance.

Fair enough, you know him better than anyone. I'm really sorry your marriage is ending like this though. I hope you have a good support circle in IRL.

RandomForest · 04/09/2023 18:32

Sorry forwarded her husband the perfectly innocent pic.

Canthave2manycats · 04/09/2023 18:42

You're the only one here who knows your husband.

Just saying, don't let your opinion/decisions be swayed by the mob baying for blood.

I've worked with people who could very well have found something like the photo hilarious (it's not, btw, not at all). It was in another place and another time but I had a colleague once who wore her husband's Y fronts when she couldn't find her own undies - and pulled her skirt up to prove it to the entire office.

I could very well imagine her doing the 2023 equivalent. She didn't mean anything by it - she was outrageous though!

Clafoutie · 04/09/2023 18:42

Highlyflavouredgravy · 04/09/2023 09:33

He was saying " you're showing off but wait until you see how swish my room is"

This is how I read it too. But possibly I am being naive!

MrsColinRobinson · 04/09/2023 18:43

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 18:05

Not normal? It depends on the person. OP should know her husband better than any of us and it's up to her to say if this is normal or not.

I have to say that OP does not sound like the gaslighted, abused person some PP's are suggesting,

OP, I wonder why you didn't talk to sausage legs? What she has to say might be enlightening. She might be mortified that she went too far and wants to apologise profusely. She might be devastated that she got your DH into such a state/trouble. Or not. You've just accepted what people on here have said about damage limitation without any legitimate reason to believe that is the case.

As another poster said the people egging you on will move onto other threads tonight and will right now be dining with their DH's and DC's while your DH is suicidal (and sometimes people threaten suicide because they feel extreme distress not just because they're guilty of a crime that MN randoms have decided they are guilty of). I speak as a survivor of DV not as an apologist for men before anyone bandies that around. I don't know what happened between your DH and sausage legs, but I am appalled that you allowed this to escalate on the say-so of random pp's.

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Well said!

The "definite" speculation on this thread is utter batshit.

RaeBae32 · 04/09/2023 18:48

I don't know what DH is playing at but it doesn't sound innocent. Hope you're okay! <3

PhilMitchellsleatherbomber · 04/09/2023 18:50

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 17:53

In my experience, as a woman over 50, there aren't that many who even come close - the worries and stress of a normal life see to that. Celebs are not a good standard by which to judge ordinary people because it is their job to maintain their looks/get plastic surgery/diet to within an inch of their lives - things that most ordinary people probably cba'd to do.

But perhaps we should stick to the subject in hand. I recall that OP said that sausage legs was not attractive, but she does sound like fun, and is obviously confident - both very attractive traits in and of themselves.

Show quote history

I see a lot of very attractive, slim and toned 50 plus women at my gym, it’s really not that’s unusual these days, obviously there will be some women who can’t or choose not to prioritise their physiques or appearance and that’s absolutely fine, I agree that money and time help massively though.

Sueveneers · 04/09/2023 18:54

Bored1000 · 04/09/2023 17:26

Crying, blaming you and threatening to jump out the window……..sounds like a very mature man…..HE behaved inappropriately (and he knows it) and the happenings of today are ALL consequences of HIS behaviour.

If he hadn’t been behaving inappropriately he would be able to argue his case in a rational / coherent way without all the above said (silly) behaviour.

Yes. Crying and threatening suicide, and then saying he is 'worried' about OP as if he is painting her as crazy. It's THE SCRIPT. He's a gaslighting pos.