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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's Colleague- Leg Pic.

532 replies

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 08:51

DH 38 was sent a holiday picture of very posed "sausage leg" type picture from female work colleague (late 50s). Right up to the bikini line. His response was "A bit jealous, but wait til I get to my room".
I think this reads a certain way.
What do you think?
For context, we were on holiday too in a very nice hotel that he had been bragging about to her in previous messages. He says he was just going to show her pics of our room.
He never did. Messages stop there.
My mum says it isn't suspicious and believes him as apparently pictures like this are common amongst her 50 year old friends.
My friend says it is suspicious as feck.

Aibu:
Yes- innocent messages.
No--suspicious messages.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Dramatico · 04/09/2023 12:43

PeaceGoodMercutio · 04/09/2023 12:36

No, you are right. I didn't speak to her. I didn't bring her into it. I wasn't replying to him so he got her to phone me.

Show quote history

Now that is itself is a twatty thing to do

Chippy4me · 04/09/2023 12:43

Obviously there is a big back story here which you hadn’t mentioned previously which is why I felt you were overreacting.

Whether this text exchange was innocent or not (obviously if it was innocent it’s crap because she’s probably lost her job and DH and he’s at risk of losing his job too) but it’s obvious you need to separate.

What are you going to do now OP?

Are you going to fly home or try and get a different hotel room?

I personally would try and fly home as I wouldn’t want to keep bumping into him or have to sit next to him on the plane.

WantingToEducate · 04/09/2023 12:43

My first thought was that he was jealous of whatever view she had sent him (I.e whatever scenery was behind her legs) and his “wait until I get upstairs” comment was said in jest to indicate that even though the scenery in her photo was great, his room (hotel) was even better and he’d send her photos the prove it.

It didn’t come across as sleazy or creepy to me.

You obviously know the bigger picture though OP and you have since made other posts that indicate you may have more reasons for suspecting an affair, but from that message exchange alone I wouldn’t have been worried

Bumcake · 04/09/2023 12:44

DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 12:39

with is sausage leg?

There are about 30 explanations on this thread, even photos. Do none of them satisfy you?

Bored1000 · 04/09/2023 12:44

I wouldn’t believe him either, you are right to trust your instincts.
Neither of them are to be trusted, not putting all the blame on the woman but what kind of hoe sends a married man pictures like that….he is obviously encouraging her ( at the very least) in some way.

Willmafrockfit · 04/09/2023 12:44

seems dodgy

Bumcake · 04/09/2023 12:45

Chippy4me · 04/09/2023 12:43

Obviously there is a big back story here which you hadn’t mentioned previously which is why I felt you were overreacting.

Whether this text exchange was innocent or not (obviously if it was innocent it’s crap because she’s probably lost her job and DH and he’s at risk of losing his job too) but it’s obvious you need to separate.

What are you going to do now OP?

Are you going to fly home or try and get a different hotel room?

I personally would try and fly home as I wouldn’t want to keep bumping into him or have to sit next to him on the plane.

They’re already home, he’s gone to work.

Runningonjammiedodgers · 04/09/2023 12:45

I would 100% never send a hot dog leg pick to any married man I knew. There are lots of other holiday picks you could send your boss to show how nice your holiday is.

OhmygodDont · 04/09/2023 12:45

He shouldn’t be giving out your number to random people for a start. Surely she at work shouldn’t be spending time harassing the bosses wife either.

All of that with the picture and his comment back make it suspicious.

You don’t bring your employees into a husband and wife argument how stupid is that.

ElizaWinter · 04/09/2023 12:46

There was also viagra hidden behind his car seat in the pocket.

This rather puts a new slant on it in any case. What's he saying about the viagra?

Thementalloadisreal · 04/09/2023 12:46

So weird just read a thread where a lot of MNers are insisting an adult woman should have never sent a nude photo to a bloke she was seeing. But on here apparently it’s ok for a married woman to send her married boss photos of her bare legs and bikini line? I know it’s not “nudes” but it’s body parts and to her married boss!

For what it’s worth I read OP’s DH’s reply as either I’m going for a wank in my room or I’m going to my room to send a (body part) photo back. He didn’t send a nice room photo after that like he said so clearly that’s not what it meant!

Given the latest updates - viagra, deleted messages - I’m assuming they’ve been having some kind of affair anyway.

I’m glad you told the other partner OP! If it’s all innocent and explained away then it won’t blow anything apart. But she really shouldn’t be sending leg photos to her boss affair or not, it’s weird and overstepping. There wasn’t any scenery it was literally “look at my legs”.

Sueveneers · 04/09/2023 12:51

Thementalloadisreal · 04/09/2023 12:46

So weird just read a thread where a lot of MNers are insisting an adult woman should have never sent a nude photo to a bloke she was seeing. But on here apparently it’s ok for a married woman to send her married boss photos of her bare legs and bikini line? I know it’s not “nudes” but it’s body parts and to her married boss!

For what it’s worth I read OP’s DH’s reply as either I’m going for a wank in my room or I’m going to my room to send a (body part) photo back. He didn’t send a nice room photo after that like he said so clearly that’s not what it meant!

Given the latest updates - viagra, deleted messages - I’m assuming they’ve been having some kind of affair anyway.

I’m glad you told the other partner OP! If it’s all innocent and explained away then it won’t blow anything apart. But she really shouldn’t be sending leg photos to her boss affair or not, it’s weird and overstepping. There wasn’t any scenery it was literally “look at my legs”.

So weird just read a thread where a lot of MNers are insisting an adult woman should have never sent a nude photo to a bloke she was seeing. But on here apparently it’s ok for a married woman to send her married boss photos of her bare legs and bikini line? I know it’s not “nudes” but it’s body parts and to her married boss!

Yes it's batshit crazy how many people think that's ok, and not only that, actually truly believe the OP is on the wrong for contacting OW's partner after OW blew up her phone and wouldn't leave her alone! Would they be ok with a man sending a 'dick pick' if he were in speedos and he wasn't erect? Where do you draw the line? She didn't send it publicly on facebook. She sent it directly to her boss. And instead of him deleting it or saying "that's not appropriate" he said what he said, and I strongly suspect he was going to send her a dick pick in the hotel room. Lets be honest; it's pretty obvious that's what he was going to do. Despite the protestations of the silly naive posters on here who think it's all innocent.

Thementalloadisreal · 04/09/2023 12:52

Exactly! All the “it’s only a photo of her knees” business is ludicrous

Janieforever · 04/09/2023 12:55

Thementalloadisreal · 04/09/2023 12:52

Exactly! All the “it’s only a photo of her knees” business is ludicrous

I’m with you and hark back to the days when an ankle was scandalous 😄

ActDottie · 04/09/2023 12:56

I mean he could’ve worded it better such as “wait until I send you the pictures of our room” cuz the way he has said is very open to interpretation!!

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 04/09/2023 12:57

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DameCurlyBassey · 04/09/2023 12:58

Bumcake · 04/09/2023 12:44

There are about 30 explanations on this thread, even photos. Do none of them satisfy you?

Show quote history

I haven't seen them.

Oh no, I'm not going to have to rtft, am I? I'm having a quick lunch break.

HowMuchMore2 · 04/09/2023 12:59

Did she only start to ring you after she'd had a chance to get story straight at work?

I read the "when I get back to the room" thing as he's going to send her intimate pics of him masturbating.

Stick to your instinct OP.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/09/2023 12:59

It sounds like OP has had several things that haven't been quite right, and this has been the final straw. Inevitably people on MN will accuse the OP of drip feeding. I say give her a break. If you are in that situation, and I have been, it isn't a priority to include in the opening post everything that has led to this point. She's not submitting some kind of work report, or statement, or academic paper.

clotheshorsegym · 04/09/2023 13:00

Oysterbabe · 04/09/2023 09:06

That sounds dodgy as fuck.

This.

ThereIbledit · 04/09/2023 13:00

I don't know why people are giving you so much shit, I think you've acted in really quite a reserved manner.

CauldronOfLove · 04/09/2023 13:01

The last person I want to speak to on holiday is my boss, let alone send them bikini pics.

A pic of bikini clad bare legs with a crotch shot to your married boss may be completely innocent, but it’s 100% inappropriate. And regardless of how thirsty Ol’ Sausage Legs is, your Husband should definitely know that this not on given the power dynamics.

I’m glad you told her Husband. If it’s completely innocent and you’re the crazy one, then they have nothing to worry about.

Also, did he send a pic of the bedroom?

WhatWhereWho · 04/09/2023 13:02

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Daddydog · 04/09/2023 13:06

I'm sure it's totally innocent. The sun's shining, she's in holiday mode - obviously had a couple of strong cocktails and decided to make a few people jealous! Bet she sent that exact same photo to 20 other people, and one just happened to be her work mate/boss to wind him up!

What else could you expect him to do, message back that he's reporting her to HR on Monday? God forbid be deleting it, that would be even more suss. He sounded like he laughed it off and didn't even bother following it up with a counter-photo as he's too busy having a great holiday with his wonderful wife and didn't give her saveloy legs a second thought :)

HowMuchMore2 · 04/09/2023 13:07

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I disagree with your post but love the Mumsnet toxic comment, there is so much of it on here, total batshit most of the comments. In this case though I think OP has a point to be cautious, it sounds like total affair territory to me.