To ask what mumsnet post lives rent free in your head?

[mosiacmaker]

Just for fun.

Mine is the woman who posted for advice about what to do about her husband who was talking to their cat really sensually. Not baby talk but like sensuous loving ”ooh your fur is so good my darling pussycat” and it gave her the absolute ick.

Every time I talk to my dog I remember her and chuckle. I wonder how she’s doing 😂

Every ‘Mumsnet recommends’ who tf spends 38 quid on highlighter?

Haha thats definitely something you'd hear in Ireland! Everyone's a cunt for something 😂

Dh has been wearing the metaphorical Dressing gown of Doom recently. He cut his knuckle, doing some DIY - it was a tiny cut - just over 0.5cm long, but did bleed quite a lot, and the poor love needed my help to staunch the bleeding and apply a plaster.

I was the treated to regular and frequent updates on the progress of this dire injury - because it was on the knuckle, it opened up a couple of times, and bled a bit more, and each occasion required more sympathy and dressings - eventually he bandaged up the whole thumb ‘to hold the edges of the wound together’.

Now it has finally scabbed over, I am still getting daily updates on how well it is healing, and what a massive cut it is. I send to be a nurse, so he is getting scant sympathy from me.

Darina Allen I think @Waspie . She'd love being 'a cunt for the butter' - not 😂

There was a thread last year, or the year before, I forget which. I lost it and can't find the thread. It was about a woman who had a husband who was losing so much weight, and was basically passing out in the hospital but he was having so many tests and no one could figure out what it was. He had to leave work and was losing more and more weight, and it was an entire mystery. If anyone recognises the thread I am talking about, can you tell me if it still exists, what happened to the husband? It sounded like he was near death and no doctor could work out what was wrong with him.

Yes @CocoPlum this is the one I remember most and often think of them. He was her gardener as far as I can recall. Such a lovely thread, I was totally invested.

Also Penis Beaker

This is the one I remember too. Very moving.

"Off you fuck then cunty chops".

There was a reply on a thread about teething that accused mothers of overdosing our kids with Calpol because using those oral syringes made us feel important, like we would be nurses. It must be about 9 or 10 years ago because my kids are nearly teenagers. Still irritates me every time I think about it.

@FastnetLundyRockall she posts occasionally on Instagram as fiveyearslefthere

That one was brilliant, apart from the ending. The brother, the roast dinners, the army of teds strategically positioned around the vehicle. However, the utter twunt CF driver got away with it in the end and sent his poor wife to cop the flack. I remember feeling more aggrieved about that than I ought to have done for days afterwards, I so wanted him to get his comeuppance.

Some of the wedding ones are good too.

The Stately Homes threads have been very helpful, as have the Cockroach Cafe ones. In the former, there is a poster called Monkey from Manchester who posts well and with much humour about the desperately wretched situation she has in life. I've learned a lot that has been helpful in those spaces.

I always get quite upset when posters pile in on someone who is clearly at their wits end with an elderly/abusive relative and utterly desperate. There are always folk who say "you only get one mum" or "I'd do anything for my mum, you are evil and heartless" or similar. I had a brief taste of that myself after posting something fairly innocuous during lockdown and the hurtful comments stayed with me for a while.

I also worry about people who post about abusive domestic situations and then suddenly disappear. I am also wondering whatever happened about "Ginny" a coworker who was causing mayhem in recent threads.

Mexican house-thief and "Pom Bear, anyone...?" are other particular favourites.

I am glad Mumsnet exists. It's an interesting and varied place.

Best wishes to you. x

There are some great threads mentioned here that I had forgotten about.

I was so glad when the T Rexing in Asda thread finally filled up. So many people resurrecting it year after year thinking they were hilarious.

Surely someone needs to start a novel with this as an opening line?

There was a reply on a thread about teething that accused mothers of overdosing our kids with Calpol because using those oral syringes made us feel important, like we would be nurses.

Very slight derail: I don't know if the originator was being serious or not, but I saw something on Twitter where somebody was complaining about how appalling it was in their town, with all the shameless junkies abandoning their shooting-up gear right there in the street - and it turned out that it was just a dropped Calpol syringe!

Same! I think of this one every time there's a woo or spooky story thread on Mumsnet.

What about the one where there was a hatch or something in the ceiling with a light going on and off? OP thought it might be a freaky neighbour?

I can't remember how that ended

Oh oh punching the lemon drizzle cake! Lemon drizzle cunt.

*Are we allowed to talk about posters we recall? Ones that I fondly remember are:

Crumbs, who allegedly lived in the nicest village where everyone gathered for "soup and sups" after carol singing. Sounded like the idyllic place to live.

Helena Dove: she managed to turn any thread into a debate about social housing and her husband's disability scooter, and would post reams of legislation re SH.

Queen someone or other: was very wealthy and seemed to really live the high life. Once posted a photo of her bedroom, but a poster did a reverse search on said photo and it was a hotel in France.*

I thought Crumbs was the one who passed off the French hotel as her house? Or possibly Crumbs under a namechange?

I remember Crumbs and her perfect exceptional life and family. Her daughter was simultaneously a ballerina and also something very impressive like a medical student or something (can't remember). Or it may have been her son the professional rugby player who was in medical school.

I do remember her claiming during Covid that she was part of Boris Johnson's Covid cabinet and directly involved in deciding the country's Covid strategy, then a couple of years later claimed that she'd used lockdown to write a series of bestselling books which had been snapped up by a top publisher who she was actually off to have lunch with that same day.

And her perfect idyllic village full of immaculately behaved teenagers who hold their secondary black tie school leavers' balls on yachts in the Med, where everyone owns an Aga and a ski chalet and they all eat Christmas dinner together as a village.

Her mother also went from being dead to not dead and back multiple times.

Ah, Crumbs. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

The missing ironing board.

If we're talking down memory lane. Cat Thief Keith RIP. I always looked forward to her contributions and was very sad when she died.

Birdiefriend. Defo. Still wonder about it now.

Dressing Gown of Doom was perfect. My DS2 is currently shuffling feebly around in his, bless him

Thank you for reminding us i oh f that one. Oh I was just howling with laughter

Darina Allen (Ireland’s Delia)