AIBU to feel think this woman has the maturity of a 6 year old, and the self-awareness of a corpse?

[harerunner]

The headline gives you an idea...

"I’m a single mum who’s turned to food banks after spending £1k on my bloke’s holiday – when we got home I was ghosted"

The details in the story show a woman who is breathtakingly irresponsible...

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/23749211/single-mum-ghosted-after-paying-for-boyfriends-holiday/

Does she expect seriously sympathy for her astounding fecklessness and utter stupidity?

YABU to read the sun and post a link to the Sun encouraging traffic to their website.

What do “taxpayers paying for it” have to do with “idiots”?

I just can’t be like that? I’ve worked with enough victims and encountered enough of these twats to know just how convincing and charming they can be.

What if the holiday was a gift?

Even if it wasn’t, why can’t food bank users go on holiday? It’s a genuine question. I don’t understand why people who have recourse to public funds or donated food should be banned from enjoying holidays or other treats?

People on MN regularly lose their shit because they know of a benefit claimant who has a wide screen TV, a games console or, gasp, takes their children on a break. Meanwhile multi-millionaires in this country shift their money abroad to avoid paying tax and this government also moves heaven and earth to ensure their wealthy donors pay as little as possible.

But the problem is the single parent spending a few hundred quid on a week in the Tenerife to get some relief from a hardscrabble existence or a family surviving on peanuts who buys an Xbox (probably on finance at a usurious interest rate). Ok🙄

She's a grifter who doesn't see why she should pay her way in life. She uses people to get her way & doesn't see why she just be economically responsible. She got scammed by her scummy bf and she's scamming everyone else. These type of people always find each other.

People on MN regularly lose their shit because they know of a benefit claimant who has a wide screen TV, a games console or, gasp, takes their children on a break. Meanwhile multi-millionaires in this country shift their money abroad to avoid paying tax and this government also moves heaven and earth to ensure their wealthy donors pay as little as possible.

They don't know what 21st century poverty looks like. They think it should look like 15th century poverty. A strong sense of deserving and undeserving poor.

He should be in the dictionary as a definition of cocklodger. Thank God for her he did ghost her because she escaped a lot more expenses.

How and who is she scamming?

This young and naive mum who is being vilified here (becoming a mum doesn't suddenly change you from being naive to knowing everything that you need to know about life, and about men in particular) was sadly fooled by someone who probably made her feel attractive and desirable again - which can be a very heady feeling for someone who is no longer with the father of her children, who may not have a completely flat stomach any more, who might actually have stretch marks - and yet all that most of the Mumsnetters who are commenting here can do, is have a massive go at her for being a young mum who hasn't managed to suss the out world of men yet.

I agree 100%. And she’s left her ex for a reason. I’m helping a woman who has a few months ago ended a 5yr coercive and controlling relationship- her self confidence is subterranean. He’s done a right number on her. She currently thinks she will die alone, that this twat was her last chance at true love. If a Romeo scammer came along, she’d fall right into his hands.

No, and if we're honest, most of us have done something daft while under someone's spell. Look at how many women on here married the fuckers and had kids with them, far more ruinous than a holiday. Women who are much older and more privileged than this person.

Of course the mistake is bloody obvious when it's someone else doing it!

She probably got some money for the story and feels she's helping to warn others off the same mistake. The Sun, of course, was looking for a massive moral majority pile on and as ever, the woman is to blame.

why can’t food bank users go on holiday?

A poster up thread said that she donated to food banks but couldn’t afford to go on holiday herself.

Holidays aren’t a need they are a nice to have if you can afford it.

It might not be fun but holidays are saved for after you have paid your bills and fed your family. Affording to go on holiday because you are getting free food donated by others who think they are preventing families going hungry is ugly and cynical.

This

Well in the case of this single mum, she didn’t need a food bank until after she’d had £1k swindled out of her by this Romeo scammer.

Shed never used a food bank. Paid all her bills. Saved up for a holiday for her and her kids with her parents. He then invites himself along and manipulates her into paying his way. (Btw all the times he’s with the kids, one of her parents are likely there, I doubt he’s alone with them).

It is only then after they get back and he ghosts her and she realises he’s not going to refund her the money that she has to use a food bank.

Very few young single mums can take a £1k loss like that and it not cause serious financial stress.

Oh please, some people are so desperate for a partner they let them get away with this bull .

Well in the case of this single mum, she didn’t need a food bank until after she’d had £1k swindled out of her by this Romeo scammer.

But that’s not what the poster I was responding to had said.

Even if it wasn’t, why can’t food bank users go on holiday?

If you can't afford the most basic food for your family, you can't afford to fly to Cyprus on holiday!

How can it be right for someone to say "I've got £1,000... I could spend that on food for a couple of months... No, I'll fly abroad instead, because I know there are plenty of do-folders who will give me the food I need when I plead poverty."

I support food banks. I think they're a sad but necessary resource to help people who have no other way of supporting their families with the basic necessities, and many of the stories of people who need to use them are heartbreaking. I'm very far believing "food bank users are all feckless". BUT your attitude only gives fuel to those who do!

do-folders? Do-gooders!

Just hope that the holiday romance has not left her pregnant again with another child that she cannot afford to support without the help of us the taxpayers

And where's the "scam" here? She willingly paid for him even though he said he was skint! She's still be in the same financial mess had he not left her (which he's entitled to do - they'd apparently only been dating a very short while)

I have no sympathy for her - eating lobster and flying some bloke in to entertain her kids then scamming her parents, friends, delivery driver and food bank supporters out of money.

There was no financial scam from him! He didn't claim he had money on the way and was waiting for it to clear in his account.

He obviously played her romantically but she has made money the focus of the outrage. I don't get it. Does she think because she paid a certain amount he owes her a relationship? Or she is going to buy a new respectful decent attitude from him?

@SurprisedWithAHorse
I agree with you about the story. These articles are meant to do one of these things: Bring up our morale superiority because that would never ever will happen to us. Make a fool of the protagonist and assume she/he is a scum bag cheating the system, and of course deserve anything wrong that happend to her/him etc, or sympathise with the protagonist because the world is going to end/men are all disgusting/ single mothers at single because no one can stand them and a large etc.

Kind of primal gossip journalism to divide and conquer the public. TBH that clearly works because in my office quite a lot of people read the Daily Fail in their lunch break.

Not a fan of them but every now a then I read some and the way they are written is intended for a purpose.

That’s not what happened though 😳

He was amazing with the kids. He spent more time with them than with me. He was playing in the pool, taking them out for walks with my little boy in the pram

So she let some random bloke she didn't really know look after her children, she's lucky she only list money imo.

Yes but this is an anonymous forum not the S*n.

It’s obvious by the way she talks about “borrowing” that she had every expectation he’d pay her back when he wasn’t “skint”.