MIL took my daughter for severe haircut without my permission wwyd ?

[Notkenough]

Hi all need advice asap. My(44f) MIL (63F) has taken my daughter{15f) to the hairdressers while away with them for a week and allowed her to get what for want of a better description I’d say is a mullet - shaved right up the sides, very short on top and thick in the back. She is due back at school in her last year in a week and a half. Not only is the hair highly unsuitable for school I am hugely concerned she will be bullied for it and her hair grows very slowly. I am disappointed in my daughter for not having the sense to choose something more sensible but I am furious with my inlaws. In my opinion it’s literally a 15 year olds job to make stupid decisions but in my absence surely it’s theirs to stop her from doing so not actively facilitate it by taking her to the hairdressers and paying for it ?? To add insult to injury she hasn’t reached out in any way shape or form to address this after apparently my OH(m37) told her to give me time to calm down. The longer it has gone on the more I am feeling disrespected and and at the point where I no longer feel I can make a logical decision. He has this evening informed me he has reached out to her to make contact with me and I don’t know what to do. I have my own thoughts but am curious what you’d all do? Thanks for reading x Apologies for the grammar I’m on my phone and multitasking x

Depends on the schools response tbf if they send her home and require a different hairstyle then it's bank of nan for the correction and nan can pay for decent homeschooling while it grows out

Why on earth should she? It's not her job to know the school's rules on hairstyles. That's entirely dd's responsibility.

Controlling parent.. shocker 🥱

She’s 15 - it’s her decision!

I also opened the thread thinking this would be about a very small child.

Does DD like it? I think you need to let it go!

I (57f) had a mullet in the late 70's. It was cool 😎

I (fiftysomethingfemale), having survived a good few teenagers, reckon YABU.
Thank your lucky stars that it was an actual hairdresser and not your DD's best mate wielding a pair of nail scissors, a scrunched up photo of their latest girl crush to copy, and a tube of 'hideous pink' hair bleach.
Teachers are very used to these occurrences at the start of term - if it's not hairdos, it's skirt lengths, or 'those are not trousers, they're leggings'. She'll find a way to put it up.
Plus mullet-y looks are very much en vogue at the moment. I have a mullet-y cut myself and am loving it.
If you tell your dd that a fifty something woman on MN has her haircut, she'll probably want a nice a neat bob.

She’s 15 ! hardly a child . Suck it up . Prepare yourself that your
daughter can make her own decisions regarding her hair and style .

I let my girlfriends bleach my very dark hair at a that age, it came out a hideous mix of bright yellow, ginger, still black and peroxide blonde.

I lost the old photograph of me like it. Wish I could see it, rite of passage stuff, try to chill and make the best of it!

She's 15. Old enough to decide how she wants her hair.

You are being quite controlling

I intentionally had a mullet years later btw, no regrets!

At 15 I had a grade 2 flattop and tram lines. My DM said that’s nice and neat darling. Never did it again.

This made me (also f47) laugh out loud

At 15 I was cutting my own mullet, so be grateful she went to a hairdresser and had it done properly. Yes, it is a super ugly haircut, but it’s very fashionable right now and a third of her year will probably have something similar. The teenage years are the time to experiment. Let her enjoy it - and yes, take plenty of photos so you can embarrass her in 20 years!

If she's happy with it, celebrate her confidence and willingness to go her own way & be herself. Encourage her to own it and be happy in herself.

If she's not so sure, just be calm and neutral and reiterate that it'll grow, and it won't be long before she has a few options for how to style it differently.

She's 15, its her hair.

Seriously? Have a word with yourself. She's 15. You're the one with the problem

I also pierced my own ears in the bathroom and dyed my hair bright red.

I’m now pretty successful and still don’t get told what to do - I’m the MD

Personally speaking I can't see how your MIL can be held responsible for what a 15 year old dictates to the hairdresser about the style she wants. I can't imagine it would even have been discussed other than dd saying I'd like to visit the hairdressers 🤷‍♀️

She could easily have gone to a salon herself and got her haircut. It's not something you need parental permission for. Even if she wanted it shaved off, or dyed something ridiculous.

It's just hair. It will grow. If it's completely unsuitable for school then it will need to be taken care of. Otherwise leave her too it

That style is very fashionable right now, she’s more likely to be seen as edgy and cool rather than bullied for it

At 15 it wouldn't have crossed my mind that my mother needed to be consulted on my hair. At the time I copied Twiggy, when she had really short hair. I got called Twiggy by friends. I can't remember my mother even commenting but I do remember being mistaken for a boy if I was in jeans which was quite funny.

she's 15, its hair. I took myself to the hairdressers from about age 10.

Send her lots of Mullet memes and jokes on WhatsApp and take the Mickey.
Hair grows and at 15 she's more than responsible for that

Goodness my girl is 12 and she makes her own decisions about her haircut. If she chooses something unsuitable for school then she takes the consequences. You sound controlling.’

Nah at 15 that's on your DD. I dyed my hair black, cut a fringe, then tried to dye it blonde and back again to black all within 6 months at 14.