MIL took my daughter for severe haircut without my permission wwyd ?

[Notkenough]

Hi all need advice asap. My(44f) MIL (63F) has taken my daughter{15f) to the hairdressers while away with them for a week and allowed her to get what for want of a better description I’d say is a mullet - shaved right up the sides, very short on top and thick in the back. She is due back at school in her last year in a week and a half. Not only is the hair highly unsuitable for school I am hugely concerned she will be bullied for it and her hair grows very slowly. I am disappointed in my daughter for not having the sense to choose something more sensible but I am furious with my inlaws. In my opinion it’s literally a 15 year olds job to make stupid decisions but in my absence surely it’s theirs to stop her from doing so not actively facilitate it by taking her to the hairdressers and paying for it ?? To add insult to injury she hasn’t reached out in any way shape or form to address this after apparently my OH(m37) told her to give me time to calm down. The longer it has gone on the more I am feeling disrespected and and at the point where I no longer feel I can make a logical decision. He has this evening informed me he has reached out to her to make contact with me and I don’t know what to do. I have my own thoughts but am curious what you’d all do? Thanks for reading x Apologies for the grammar I’m on my phone and multitasking x

My father said that I (56f) looked like a 'blown up cabbage' when I had my waist length hair cut when I was 15.

I also cried when my daughters (29f, 27f) had their hair cut short (I still have their plaits) when they were mid teens.

I was going through my mother's (92f) belongings today as she died yesterday. I found the plait that I had cut off and also a photo of the blown up cabbage look.

All of this. You are being ridiculous, precious and controlling.

Poor MIL. I'm sure she spends a lot of time waiting for you to calm down.

I thought you were going to say that your daughter was about 4.
She's 15, you can't blame your MIL.

Hair isn't worth getting worked up over. Here's the thing . It grows back.
Thought this thread was going to be a about a toddler/
under 10.
Hardly worth posting about.

My mum went nuts at me for dyeing my hair when she was on a work trip, when I was around the same age as your DD. I thought she was batshit, controlling and self-obsessed. Don’t be that mum.

When I was 15 (a long time ago) my dad wouldn't let me have my hair cut short, so I went to the hairdresser and had it dyed bright pink. He was livid. Trust me, it was the least of his worries as I got older. Don't sweat the small stuff. It'll grow.

This is spot on. Your DD is 15; her granny isn’t going to be telling her how to have her hair cut.

I would only be angry if it would get her put in isolation. Which it would in my school. They are very strict though, I think most schools are more relaxed these days.

OP- is the hairstyle ok for school rules? Will she be in trouble with teachers?
If not I would say let it go- she is 15 and can choose her own style.
If it’s against school rules I would be very cross with DD. At 15 she is old enough to know the rules and that she is in school next week, so that to me would be irresponsible of her. However it’s her that’s going to get in trouble not you.
As for grandparents- erm… yes I guess I would be a bit annoyed but DD is 15? I would assume it was her decision and not much to do with grandparents? It’s not really up to them to tell her how to cut her hair at 15? She’s old enough to know if you are going to be annoyed and to face the consequences.

I guess we are going to see a lot of these angry Mums who think their kids can have any haircut they want and then they all return to school and said kids and angry mum are in the tabloids complaining about school rules.😂

Mullet styles are all over tiktok right now and loads of famous musicians are getting them so I doubt they’ll be teased, they’ll probably be the stylish one.

Does your daughter like her haircut?

I (57F and therefore almost as ancient as MIL) would have strongly tried to persuade DD when she was 15 from doing this but ultimately it would have been her decision. The more you try to stop them the more they do it anyway. DD is threatening to get tattoos when she’s 18 mainly because I don’t like them. I don’t, but I have to respect her body autonomy.

Love all of those. Short hair wouldn't suit me unfortunately.

Thread predictions:

OP probably won't come back

If OP comes back, it'll be to maintain that we're all wrong and she is right, and also everyone here is so rude

If she can find one person who semi-agrees with her, she will quote them as evidence that she is being reasonable

Mullets are in! 👌

At 15???? Both my daughters have dyed bangs. One is 12 and the other is 16

It’s not your hair, it’s hers. People love to tell teenagers no just because it’s not the choice they would make. But you have to ask yourself why you’re saying no. If it’s for financial reasons or about their safety then that’s fair enough but I don’t think you have the right to have opinions on her hair.

Sadly this is true. I was told that a popular trend is a wolf cut whatever the heck that is.

YABU and really unfair to your MIL. I thought this would be about a toddler.

No way would I think to ask a fifteen year olds parents if they were allowed to have their hair cut. Surely the extent of adult involvement at this point is dropping them off and paying for the hair to be cut?

For what it's worth I agree that style looks awful, but it does seem to be back in fashion again atm. If your DD likes it that's all that matters, its her hair. I doubt the school will have an issue with it but if they do she's big enough to deal with it herself.

Sounds like she has had a mullet type cut, they are back in fashion. So she might not get the piss taken out of her at school. She is 15, so I think as long as the haircut doesn’t break school rules, she should be able to chose her own hair style.

Now is the time for your DD to learn natural consequences. If her hair is against the school runs she runs the risk of being placed in isolation until it grows out. That's her natural consequence.
At 15 it isn't for your Inlaws place to police her hair styles. Get lots of pictures to look back and laugh at then let it go.

I've name changed for this but this was me at 14. My mum very wisely was completely blasé about it. I went to a convent boarding school at the time.

I have no criminal record or even tattoos 🤣 Cambridge University we’re happy to have me 4 years later and I’m as dull as you could possibly wish for these days.

Honestly the best and safest thing for you to do is chill the fuck out and tell her it suits her.

“Apologies for the grammar I’m on my phone and multitasking”

So you want people to answer your post, but you can’t be arsed to stop for about 2 minutes to focus on writing it?

Nah.