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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reborn dolls in the pram bay

680 replies

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 07:34

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

OP posts:
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10
Missey85 · 31/08/2023 08:29

Just tip over the pram! It's not a real baby what are they going to do call the cops on you for hurting a doll

WolfFoxHare · 31/08/2023 08:31

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 31/08/2023 08:17

How do you 'pop' a baby into a sling whilst boarding a bus? What a faff

Just tell them to move the toys

I always think this when I read posts advising people to "pop" their baby into a sling. I must be exceptionally cack-handed because I found it very hard to "pop" DS into any sling I tried, and he screamed blue murder in them as well, despite loving to be settled on my chest the rest of the time.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/08/2023 08:34

Mummy08m · 31/08/2023 08:26

Yanbu OP. There's definitely an order of precedence in those bays and it goes something like disabled, baby in pram, toddler in pram. Doll in pram is not even on the list.

I get a bit tired and grumpy when I'm looking after dd and lots of shopping bags. I must admit I'd go full-on unclassy and tell them off in front of everyone.

I think that if somebody is in possession of a reborn doll, it's an obvious indicator that they do have an invisible disability and would therefore have an entitlement to use the wheelchair space over and above somebody with a kid in a buggy, inconvenient though that is.

Testina · 31/08/2023 08:35

Missey85 · 31/08/2023 08:29

Just tip over the pram! It's not a real baby what are they going to do call the cops on you for hurting a doll

Possibly a little extreme. I suppose you could cheerily say, “I’ll just put the pram down for you”, as you pass the doll over upside down by the ankle…

Testina · 31/08/2023 08:38

@NeverDropYourMooncup
”I think that if somebody is in possession of a reborn doll, it's an obvious indicator that they do have an invisible disability and would therefore have an entitlement to use the wheelchair space over and above somebody with a kid in a buggy, inconvenient though that is.”

🤣 don’t be silly. Let’s say this person is unable to leave the house without their support doll. Fine. They can still pick it out of the pram, and fold the damn pram down, can’t they?

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 31/08/2023 08:40

My DS used to love taking his baby (child's toy not reborn) out in the toy pram. Including on the bus and using the wheelchair/pram space.
However he was well aware that the moment a wheelchair/real babu needed to get on he had to fold the pram and hold the 'baby'. Luckily for him baby's Grandma was always on hand to help.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 31/08/2023 08:41

If there is more than one of them traveling together it sounds more like a collectors club than a mental health issue.

Hufflepods · 31/08/2023 08:47

The doll thing is a red herring though, it would be the same if someone was on the bus before you and had a lot of luggage. First come first served really, no one should have to get off because you want to get on at a later stop.

dancinfeet · 31/08/2023 08:47

this is a whole new level of crazy- of course a doll should not take priority over a baby. It’s one thing having a reborn doll for whatever reason, taking it out and about is bordering on being a bit odd anyway, but expecting it to be prioritised over an actual baby?? totally batshit

MumblesParty · 31/08/2023 08:49

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/08/2023 08:34

I think that if somebody is in possession of a reborn doll, it's an obvious indicator that they do have an invisible disability and would therefore have an entitlement to use the wheelchair space over and above somebody with a kid in a buggy, inconvenient though that is.

Show quote history

Why would someone who doesn’t use a wheelchair need a wheelchair space? Someone’s disability could be deafness for example. How will a wheelchair space help them? Wouldn’t they prefer a normal seat? I think you’re confusing “disabled” with “wheelchair user”. It would be a total nightmare for wheelchair users if the wheelchair spaces were allocated to everyone with every kind of conceivable disability!

I agree that the people who have reborn dolls are clearly mentally fragile, and possibly significantly mentally ill, but that doesn’t warrant a wheelchair space.

Dinojump · 31/08/2023 08:50

Wow, there are some nasty f*ckers on MN today.

Prescottdanni123 · 31/08/2023 08:52

Obviously, they should fold the prams as a baby absolutely does take precedence over a doll, but there can sometimes be a lot of trauma and tragedy behind the reason a woman has a reborn doll in the first place. It's not a case of selfish grown women wanting to play with dolls

shibhon · 31/08/2023 08:54

I had no idea this was a thing. It sounds rather freaky. Why do grown people have dolls that look like babies?

VeronicaBeccabunga · 31/08/2023 08:54

Testina · 31/08/2023 08:35

Possibly a little extreme. I suppose you could cheerily say, “I’ll just put the pram down for you”, as you pass the doll over upside down by the ankle…

Show quote history

I'm seriously in awe of you two 😄
I was thinking pretty much the same: drape the dolly over the pram handle and put the baby in its place, maybe?

Themosswidow · 31/08/2023 08:55

CharlotteBog · 31/08/2023 08:18

I'd be interested in a reborn doll owners POV and whether they think it's ok for their doll to take priority over a human.

Clearly those two do!

DiscoBeat · 31/08/2023 08:56

So grown ups take dolls onto buses? I've heard it all now!

NatMacFeegle · 31/08/2023 08:56

dancinfeet · 31/08/2023 08:47

this is a whole new level of crazy- of course a doll should not take priority over a baby. It’s one thing having a reborn doll for whatever reason, taking it out and about is bordering on being a bit odd anyway, but expecting it to be prioritised over an actual baby?? totally batshit

Agree and people are 'nasty fuckers' by thinking about their own actual child's safety?!

IkeaMeatballGravy · 31/08/2023 08:57

Public transport is hard enough for new mothers as it is, without a mother having to find solutions because someone else wants to take oversized toys on the bus. Bus drivers tell mums to fold thier prams or get off the bus if a wheelchair user needs it, they can do the same if someone is taking up a much needed space with thier hobby.

Prescottdanni123 · 31/08/2023 08:57

@DiscoBeat

I know of a woman who did this. She lost her own baby and not long after took to taking a reborn doll around everywhere with her, treating it like a real living child. That is what I meant earlier when I said there is often a lot of trauma and tragedy that leads to women doing that.

OdeToBarney · 31/08/2023 08:58

Yeah, the dolls would be moving. I'd ask politely in the first instance, but there's no way I'm waiting for the next bus or risking the safety of DD for a bloody doll.

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 08:58

The doll thing is a red herring though, it would be the same if someone was on the bus before you and had a lot of luggage. First come first served really, no one should have to get off because you want to get on at a later stop.

It's not a case of first come first served!

The spaces are for people with disabilities and babies/toddlers in prams. In that order.

Move the dolls please.

Very awkward for you OP. I don't suppose you could just ask pleasantly ? . Perhaps the doll owners would be totally reasonable about it?

I agree it shouldn't be incumbent on you. And tbh they should be looking out to move just like most reasonable people would if they end up in those seats.

rileynexttime · 31/08/2023 08:59

I want a reborn doll user AMA thread.

StEImosFire · 31/08/2023 08:59

I would politely ask them if they can fold and make room.

violetcuriosity · 31/08/2023 09:00

I really don't mean this to be funny but have you actually asked if they would mind taking down their buggies? They might just think that because you take yours down straight away that you don't mind x

sunglassesonthetable · 31/08/2023 09:00

I know of a woman who did this. She lost her own baby and not long after took to taking a reborn doll around everywhere with her, treating it like a real living child. That is what I meant earlier when I said there is often a lot of trauma and tragedy that leads to women doing that.

Very sympathetic to the background reasons for some women.

But OP's baby is also living human with needs.

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