Reborn dolls in the pram bay

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A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

On the vast majority of buses the only allocated space is the wheelchair space so you could argue that for anyone who isn’t a wheelchair user first come first served is infact right.

I think of course where possible people should move for prams with babies in but I have seen plenty of parents think it’s fine to leave there empty pram up and leave others struggling so it’s not as straight forward really.

Then that person needs actual help. Pretending a doll is a baby isn't it.

sympathetic to the reasons people do this but they need to collapse their prams or at least but the two dolls in one pram.
I'd just politely ask them to collapse one of their prams and suggest their dolls share as you need the space.

Just go on to Tik Tok and search for the reborn community on there. Some of them believe if there is only one tub of formula left on the shelf they have as much right to take this over a mum with a real baby.

I understand why some people have reborns and have a lot of sympathy for people who have them for reasons such as baby loss or infertility and from what I've read they can be really helpful for people suffering from mental illness or dementia. So I'm happy for them if it brings comfort and helps but a real baby has priority when it comes to spaces on the bus and they need to be told to move (although I wouldn't be brave enough to do this and would just quietly be pissed off )

That's what I was thinking

No way the reborn should take precedent abd it's ridiculous people would have to point that out but have a bit of empathy for the other person involved as there's clearly stuff going on there you don't understand

OK I just googled it, I had never heard of this.

Actually I was on the bus recently and a woman with a dog in a pushchair refused to move it for a wheelchair. Driver did nothing so I had to tell her to move.

I wouldn't in a million years even contemplate NOT asking them to move them. You don't have to be impolite about it, "your little one is sweet but would you mind if they sit on your lap and folding the buggy down please?" They'll probably very quickly realise you're asking because you have an actual baby in a pram rather than a doll, if they don't they're probably beyond asking and in that case I'd take it up with the bus driver rather than be tempted to just move their pram.

I do find reborn dolls a bit nuts though. I know some people use them to cope after loss and I understand that, but I've seen people making up bottles of formula for them, bathing them, changing them in to nappies and sleepsuits and putting them to bed. Absolutely fine to roleplay baby stuff with them but don't go out and buy new nappies (you can reuse the same ones over and over), and don't go out and buy formula for them.

I agree with this. When DS was a baby there was a lady I used to see often at the bus station and I always noticed her because her pushchair had a cuddly toy in it, like a very old Jellycat rabbit type of thing. I was always glad that there was never a jostle for pushchair space when she was on as I wouldn't have wanted to challenge her at all.

Mostly mums were good about folding if another pushchair needed to fit in, there was only one clash where there was two on already and two women with one each wanted to get on, and the driver said No. Much shouting ensued, it was very embarrassing but at least they were all real infants!

Can't help but notice the OP hasn't returned. Somewhat like a reporter hoping for a story.
Can genuinely say I've never come across this in real life, only ever on MN.
I would love to know how does OP know they were definitely dolls and not sleeping babies? How closely did you look?

Let’s try to keep some perspective here.

There’s often a deeply traumatic cause of reliance on reborn dolls, we’ve all acknowledged that, but expecting a woman with a doll in a pram to take precedence over a woman with a real newborn on a bus is not right. It’s just not.

People have made some facetious comments, sure, but ultimately these women should see that for a woman struggling on with a newborn in a pram means they should fold theirs and make way for her. Just as we’d fold a pram to make way for a person in a wheelchair.

We shouldn’t pussyfoot around that so as to avoid being ‘nasty fuckers’.

Then that person needs actual help. Pretending a doll is a baby isn't it.

They probably do. And you're stating the bleeding obvious.

But as a previous poster pointed out it probably isn't there for them.

I don't really get the outrage. It's the same a having an empty pram or some luggage.

You could always offer to help her - I am happy to hold them while you pop your buggy down.

The issue came to head in our area because the drivers hadn't clocked hers was a dolly and when the pram spaces on the bus were full they simply weren't stopping for parents with real babies because they didn't know it was a fake baby in the designated space. Another mum on the bus realised what was happening and they started a big thing about it to the bus company.

It was all over our local FB group, nothing like small town gossip.

I watched a documentary about these dolls, think it was called My Fake Baby. The owners of these dolls treat them exactly like a living baby. It was interesting viewing.

Wtf😂 I’d tell them to move out of the way with their toys and stop wasting peoples time. That’s just ridiculous

This. I had a pram a decade ago for about 3 to 4 years and no-one really folds prams anymore. I remember this being common when I was a little child, and there was no dedicate pram space, but once pram spaces came in folding just seemed to stop. I guess you might fold occasionally if the bus was full and you really needed to get on it, but no-one ever folded a pram to make space for another mother, and generally people just waited for the next bus rather than fold the pram.

Me neither!

Wow no way. Did they end up getting off?

I ’solved’ this problem by staying at
home until my c section healed and I could drive. I was too terrified to get the bus after my neighbour told me the bay was always full of dogs and dolls in pushchairs! I could barely function never mind negotiate that conversation. Coordinating a fold on a buggy/needing to ask someone to hold the baby or ‘pop’ in a sling (this was never a ‘pop’ for mine either), was just too much. The other fear was wheelchairs getting on, obviously they are priority, no question so, all in all, I took the cowards way. This is a rural area so the next bus might be the next day or minimum an hour away. I offer my sympathy!

What is the driver supposed to do?

Get out of their cab and poke each baby to check it's real?

While a mother of a newborn might be able to tell instantly which babies are fake, bus drivers would likely need training as most of them have probably never even heard of reborn dolls and would need to understand how realistic some of them can look, otherwise they wouldn't be able to differentiate and would probably assume they were just a real sleeping baby anyway.

And you can't have a campaign to change behaviour saying "fuck off with your mental health issues - real babies only", so how could the bus company possibly enforce this kind of rule?

And as soon as they do, someone will sue them for disability discrimination anyway, and it would likely reach a point whereby reborn dolls actually end up getting priority for their prams over real babies, given that the wheelchair/pram space is generally expected to give priority to disabled people over buggies.

The world's gone mad 🤦🏻‍♀️ these toys should be chucked out of the bleedin' window ffs.

Absolutely! Tried a hundred different slings, patient assistance from sling library and allsorts. The idea of trying to do this on a bus or even at the bus stop would just have been a nonsense for us!

My buggy could not fold down easily - it came in two pieces. (to mention i would and have gotten off for a wheelchair user).

Not all people will a doll have a mental health condition and even if they do - that does not entitle them to a space which is for wheelchairs and prams. No one is telling them to get off - just to fold their prams. I can't believe people would rather a mother folds her pram with a real baby than a person with a doll.

I also can't believe anyone would allow a baby to wait for the next bus whilst a doll gets prime spot. This country has gone mad.

I thought of this when I saw this thread as well. Human babies before fur babies, every time. And definitely before dolls, whatever the reasons.

would have just got on and asked them to fold their pushchairs and I would have offered to help them fold it to try and be kind. Taking up space for dolls as a grown adult is ridiculous. By all means have them if it helps or you enjoy it but you can't just stop people with actual babies using the spaces designed for them because you decided to get a doll instead of therapy. I appreciate that is harsh and I would be far more friendly and polite about it in person.