Would you prefer private school?

Dontbeamenace · 2023-08-30T23:52:49+00:00

I'm sure I would prefer private school for my children. Would it matter to you if money was no cost?

DustyLee123 · 31/08/2023 07:57

No. The one person out of our group of mums who sent theirs to one ended up with the oldest at the comprehensive sixth form, and that child did badly at A level. The youngest child begged to go to the local comp when the oldest left.
Shes done a lot of driving to and from school as the kids wouldn’t get the special bus, and I can’t see that she got her money’s worth.

ButterRoad · 31/08/2023 07:59

We have plenty of money and would never consider a private school on ethical grounds.

BabyStopCryin · 31/08/2023 07:59

Depends on the schools I suppose.

HolefreeGrail · 31/08/2023 08:01

No. We can afford it but choose not to. Not privately educated ourselves, went to top unis and hate the attitude of superiority that some folks have as a result of their parents paying for their education.

somewhereovertherain · 31/08/2023 08:03

Not round here the local schools all excellent.

goldeline · 31/08/2023 08:03

No. I went to private school. My mum said sending my siblings and I was one of her biggest regrets.

Twizbe · 31/08/2023 08:06

We’re considering it at secondary for our children.

They are in state primary and it’s a wonderful school. We’d not move them.

Secondary is a very different kettle of fish. All the schools closest to us our single sex. The girls schools are great but the boys are terrible. We’ve got one of each and would feel terrible knowing one child was getting a good education and the other not just because of their sex.

We’re right on the edge of the catchment for the only mixed school. It’s really good and massively oversubscribed because of families like ours lol.

The private schools are single sex too but at least more equatable in terms of education.

Popsicle42 · 31/08/2023 08:06

I never thought I’d send my children to private school, but after 2 years of horrendous disruption and bullying at her state school with countless meetings with staff and nothing changing, we took the plunge. It has been transformative for her. She is thriving, happy and confident. She can be herself - put herself forward for things, without fear of abuse and repercussions. Maybe she could have got that at another state school, but from my limited experience, I doubt it. State schools seem pretty brutal for a lot of geeky, academic, non-sporty kids.

Although we will give our younger child some say in where he wants to go for secondary school, our preference for him will be to join his sister.

CuriousPorg · 31/08/2023 08:08

No we have friends who teach at the local private school and they don't send their DC there as they think it's too focused on getting money from international students and also really bad for SEN provision.

I also want my DC to learn with their peers from all kinds of backgrounds. We have family who have privately educated their DC and they have no understanding of how people beyond their highly cultivated social bubble live.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 31/08/2023 08:12

It depends. Some private schools are awful. Some state schools are really good. I have taught in a range of state schools and in two private schools. One of the private schools was truly outstanding and lovely. The other I wouldn't have sent my dc for free if there were a decent state school available. In general though, private schools can often offer things that state schools can't, and behaviour problems in state schools are at an alarming level atm.

ColdMeg · 31/08/2023 08:12

I think it depends what your local private and state schools are like. There's no way I will send my DD to my old state school, and I very much doubt many posters here would if they were in that situation. It's just been in special measures and was designated as an unsafe environment for children.

I find the claims you get on these threads to be interesting. When I went to university, I was one of only five who had gone to a state Comprehensive in my undergraduate cohort. Everyone else had been privately educated or been to a Grammar.

Yet I come on theses threads and they are full of people who attended Comprehensives and went to top unis. 🤔

Aaarghthepancakes · 31/08/2023 08:14

DC at private school. Very, very happy with it and they've thrived. No international pupils (wouldn't care if there were) and several in each year on full bursaries.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 31/08/2023 08:16

I also want my DC to learn with their peers from all kinds of backgrounds. We have family who have privately educated their DC and they have no understanding of how people beyond their highly cultivated social bubble live.

That's a nice principle in theory. However, with hindsight I would gladly have deprived my dc of having to put up with how lots of their classmates lived and behaved in school.

Rocknrollstar · 31/08/2023 08:19

Primary School HT actually told us to send DS to private school. I was heartbroken and didn’t want to but it was the best decision we ever made. The school we chose was perfect for him, supported him when he was seriously ill, provided the challenges he needed and gave him the opportunity for extra curricula activities. He went to Cambridge and has a wonderful group of friends that dates back to yr7. It all comes down to the right school for the individual child.

LittleRedY0shi · 31/08/2023 08:20

HolefreeGrail · 31/08/2023 08:01

No. We can afford it but choose not to. Not privately educated ourselves, went to top unis and hate the attitude of superiority that some folks have as a result of their parents paying for their education.

My experience also. At University, we could spot the private school kids a mile off: it seemed their education was paid for at the expense of their personalities - not something we want for our kids. We decided our money would be better spent buying a house in the catchment of excellent state schools, funding extra curricular activities and, if needed, tutoring (which isn't necessarily an expense you avoid with private schools - apparently it's common to have to fund tutoring on top of the school fees for lower performing students, or risk being thrown out for dragging down the school's average).

FrodisCapering · 31/08/2023 08:20

We are sending our children to private primary.
It's far and away the best school in the area and we are sure they'll thrive there.

Spendonsend · 31/08/2023 08:21

I think so. My son had an amazing time at state school and got great gcses. But i think he would have got a lot out of the sports, music and better DT facilities at some of the privates in the area. I dont think he'd have liked am academic hot house type place.

purpleme12 · 31/08/2023 08:22

I went to private school.
I do not believe it was one of those pushy selective schools like you read about on here sometimes.
If money was no object I think I might well send my child to private school. (I would never be in that position)
The smaller classes
Are just such a massive plus.
I moved to sixth form college for sixth form though which was the right thing. It was so different. Meant I got to mix with different people I would never have mixed with if I'd stayed at my school.

TerrorOwls · 31/08/2023 08:22

I would definitely send my dc to private schools if I could afford it.
All my friends who have dc at private have lovely, confident and high achieving kids with lots of energy and enthusiasm to do stuff with their lives

My dc do stuff too because I insist on it but they feel hard done by as not many of their peers do.

ichundich · 31/08/2023 08:23

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 31/08/2023 08:16

I also want my DC to learn with their peers from all kinds of backgrounds. We have family who have privately educated their DC and they have no understanding of how people beyond their highly cultivated social bubble live.

That's a nice principle in theory. However, with hindsight I would gladly have deprived my dc of having to put up with how lots of their classmates lived and behaved in school.

It's also a misconcept that everyone at private school is made of money. Many of them have families with average salaries who can only just about afford the fees by making sacrifices elsewhere.

Hopingforagreatescape · 31/08/2023 08:26

I am nervous of it because friends with children at private schools have come across 'mean girl' behaviour, which you don't seem to get so much in state schools. When I say 'mean', I mean really, really mean. Subtle, arrogant and extremely nasty. Behaviour in general at private schools is better, partly because they are selective, but the nastiness seems prevalent.

MintJulia · 31/08/2023 08:28

I chose my ds' school, based upon his needs and the options available. My priority is my child not the politics of the situation.

In our case the state school on offer was chaotic and was put into special measures a year later, the trust dissolved and the school renamed and transferred to a different MAT. Ofsted acknowledged that pupils weren't safe.

Ds now attends a small non-selective independent school. It's quietly academic but not the slightest bit fashionable. They are doing a good job, DS is happy and growing in confidence.

Money is very much an issue, I'm a single mum, but DS got a scholarship and I'll cope.

In the end, we each do what we consider the best we can for our children. I don't judge anyone for that.

ilovesooty · 31/08/2023 08:28

The fact is that whatever the Mumsnet bubble says, the vast majority of pupils in the UK go to state schools and get on with it. That's normal everyday life for most people.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 31/08/2023 08:29

I'm not sure. We could just about afford to send our 2 DC if we cut back a little but in honesty I'm not sure how much benefit it really has in the long run. I was state educated as was DH and we both went to good universities. At my uni out of our friend group the only girl who had got in through clearing was privately educated, the rest who had the grades had been to state school. I have a few friends who went to private school and they are not doing any better than us financially. My husband is totally anti private school and says you can spot them a mile off as they tend to have less common sense (not sure if I agree).

MariaVT65 · 31/08/2023 08:30

Yes if I had the money I would definitely send my kids to private school, but this would also depend on what state schools are in my catchment.

I was sent to private secondary school because of the physical bullying I experienced at my state junior school, and because I was actually given alcohol aged 9 by a boy whose parents had put some in his lunchbox.

A lot of the same kids would be going to my catchment secondary school, and the school was itself was poor. Kids from the secondary school also broke into my primary school, stole computer equipment and set it on fire on our field.