Would you prefer private school?

[Dontbeamenace]

I'm sure I would prefer private school for my children. Would it matter to you if money was no cost?

DryHair
I only know when it comes up in conversation with friends and it did at university when we were talking about where we all went to college.

When we were discussing school choices I found out that one of my friends was privately educated and wasn't sure what they were doing for their children.

It surprises me that so many people seem to know the details of lots of adults' childhoods. I suspect there's a lot of confirmation bias that goes on.

Although we have gone down private route for now, I believe all those things are for me to instil and not for the school. The school we have chosen mirrors how I want to bring up my children but I wholeheartedly believe it is my responsibility to ensure they have the manners/social skills/work ethic to be successful. And success is not defined by exam results. I believe the parents who leave these things to the school to deal with - no matter which sector they educate - are the ones with children who then lack some of the skills or awareness that people speak of.

I agree that in the private sector, we get far more teacher interaction than state because we are paying for it. Some parents are like your friend and will be constantly speaking to school about every little thing, the majority are more relaxed.

Everyone has a different reason for their choices. In my case, I want my children to enjoy learning and their education. I believe the small class sizes, facilities, additional attention helps with that and most of all, I want them to be with like minded children in that they also want to learn. Nothing to do with background or wealth but attitude to education and respect for the school. This exists in the state sector where catchments are wealthy but not as much where we are. We decided that we would prefer to pay for the education than move into catchment - no different to those in nice catchments who are sitting here taking the moral high ground.

Yes. Confirmation bias abounds!

I reckon as an adult, the kind of person that needs to tell you unsolicited, what kind of school they went to, is a bit of a dickhead with an agenda.

Absolutely. Do you know I have old friends from university and thinking about it still don’t know if some went to state or private schools it’s that irrelevant! Same with my current local friends it only comes up in context so agonising about where to send your own children your own experiences come up sometimes. But generally agree unprompted going on about your own school as an adult is pretty tragic.

But generally agree unprompted going on about your own school as an adult is pretty tragic.

Is it tragic going on about your old school if it’s a state school?

Re public schools, tragic it may be but many people have affection for their old school which is why there are thriving old boy/girl associations and large endowments to the school by former pupils.
There was a thread on here years ago about state schools’ shortage of funds. A poster mentioned private schools’ alma mater associations and effective fund raising but every possible excuse was made why it wouldn’t work in a state school.

We decided that we would prefer to pay for the education than move into catchment - no different to those in nice catchments who are sitting here taking the moral high ground
That's how I feel, though admittedly that's as someone who isn't able to move in catchment or do fees right now.
If I had the money, I like where I live and would rather pay fees than move and pay through the nose for a worse house in the right catchment.

I live in a city in Scotland where it's a normal topic of conversation. Some weird cultural thing.
Could that be a proxy for asking what religion someone is? These days it might not be considered polite to ask directly but in some areas knowing what school a person went to would almost certainly tell you whether they are Protestant or Catholic. A friend of mine who is a surgeon in Belfast says it's a question he was asked a lot as a junior doctor moving up the ranks.

Nope. I could have millions and I wouldn't send my child to private school. I would like to think if my child became Prime Minister, or head of a large company etc, they'd genuinely understand the day to day issues faced by the majority of families, or their workers. And if they went to private school they wouldn't have a cat in hell's chance of understanding. I would cringe if my child became an adult who was ignorant and oblivious like that.

I would want my child to have the best access to facilities, teaching and experience possible so I’d obviously send them to private school

On how you know it just depends on the context. For example most people I look up online might well put it on their linkedin profile even if it were sink comp in depressed region (as that might get them loads of brownie points on class diversity programmes). I was checking trainee solicitor, Linkedin and name of a few firms recently from curiosity and loads of those young students put their school on whether state or private or home or abroad. My schools are on my linkedin profile.

Sorry I stand by my comment it is odd to talk about your school as an adult unprompted - state or private! It’s weird!

Sorry I stand by my comment it is odd to talk about your school as an adult unprompted - state or private! It’s weird!

To refer to your schooldays at all or to mention the name of the school?

To tell people you are having a superficial conversation with the school you went to because you are proud of it. I would immediately think you were a prat. Wouldn’t everyone ?!

I don't mention it to people, but it is part of my educational history so I think it's fine to leave it on LinkedIn just as much as the name of my university.

Of course that different. I have met the odd person (always men) who bring into unrelated conversations which public school they went to - I mentally write them off entirely.l

Yes! For the intangibles as well as the tangibles. All 3 children in world leading universities which wouldn't have happened without private education without question! Expensive but worth it IMHO.

I’ve thought about it but the answer is no. I think they are thoroughly captured by the religion of gender ideology and full of kids with monied families who are just the kind of people I try and avoid in every day life. So to basically give my kids the recipe to become just the kind of person I avoid, seems counter productive.

In my most recent teaching interview they mentioned my school, not private but grammar. This was a grammar too but not nearby, different county. Never come up in a comp interview.

No nothing to do with religion. I'm in Edinburgh where around 25% of secondary schools kids go private. It's a culturally engrained thing. I don't agree with it being a conversation topic as such as its seen as a status thing and there are some (thankfully not many) finance institutions who see it as a prerequisite to a job. But i would say that there are state schools here which are seen in a similar vein to private. It's a huge factor in house prices.

Probably but it would depend on the specific schools involved. Some of them are awful. And there are some great state schools.
It's the facilities that swing it for me... all the after school activities, swimming pool, theatre, art rooms with amazing resources... I'd love my children to have access to that stuff
I briefly went to a private school as a child and it had walled gardens, acres of its own woodland, a theatre, two pools indoor and outdoor and did things like fencing and horse riding... the library was amazing, the building was medieval in parts it was extremely beautiful..and everyone just assumed you were going to do reasonably well.. it wasn't uncool to be smart or ambitious.
There were downsides too as it was a pressured environment, there was bullying and some real arrogant that's...
But there's downsides to state schools too...
I wish state education was better and more varied... different kids respond to different things and there doesn't seem to be that much flexibility in the state system.
I'd be lying if I said that were I very wealthy suddenly for some reason, I wouldn't be looking round the private schools to see if any were a good fit for my kids. I want the best for them and so I'd definitely consider it.. it may not always prove to be the best though.

Some doctors can be very arrogant possibly a reflection of their schooling

Some doctors can be very arrogant possibly a reflection of their schooling

I'm from a medical family with lots of state school educated doctors in it so they're not all from private schools!

That's lovely. Did your school have cross country and skiing as an option? Most schools which aren't private don't .

Nope, unless there were major issues with the local state schools. No way for primary. For secondary, the smaller classes are a massive bonus. The attitudes can be foul amongst university students who had been at the elite private schools.

Of the children I know in private school, eating disorders have been a massive issue for a disproportionately high percentage of the girls. Some of the boys moved to private school were struggling and the reasons were not addressed. More than one had ASD/ADHD (late diagnosis), but they were pushed through the primary levels without specialist support and then had to find somewhere else for secondary (causing major stress).