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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you prefer private school?

396 replies

Dontbeamenace · 31/08/2023 00:52

I'm sure I would prefer private school for my children. Would it matter to you if money was no cost?

OP posts:
Ffghhhbdbfb · 08/09/2023 17:32

TheaBrandt · 05/09/2023 16:36

Of course that different. I have met the odd person (always men) who bring into unrelated conversations which public school they went to - I mentally write them off entirely.l

Ha, it is so cringeworthy. I also knew a female who did this. She had not completed A-levels or gone to uni and banged on about her elite education.

Barbadossunset · 08/09/2023 17:48

Ha, it is so cringeworthy. I also knew a female who did this. She had not completed A-levels or gone to uni and banged on about her elite education.

I’m sure you thoroughly enjoyed putting her in her place in no uncertain terms.

Heatherbell1978 · 11/09/2023 14:32

That's lovely. Did your school have cross country and skiing as an option? Most schools which aren't private don't

Erm no, as you rightly point out but what's that got to do with my brother going to a mediocre state school and becoming a surgeon?

BabyStopCryin · 11/09/2023 14:45

Even my crappy state school had loathesome cross country and skiing trips.

Loadedbydeath · 11/09/2023 14:49

ColdMeg · 31/08/2023 08:12

I think it depends what your local private and state schools are like. There's no way I will send my DD to my old state school, and I very much doubt many posters here would if they were in that situation. It's just been in special measures and was designated as an unsafe environment for children.

I find the claims you get on these threads to be interesting. When I went to university, I was one of only five who had gone to a state Comprehensive in my undergraduate cohort. Everyone else had been privately educated or been to a Grammar.

Yet I come on theses threads and they are full of people who attended Comprehensives and went to top unis. 🤔

And yet you don't know the difference between anecdote and data. Interesting 🤔

Loadedbydeath · 11/09/2023 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And your chippy, inverted snobbery is a great testimony to you...

Londiniumrocks · 28/10/2023 18:43

No way. We can afford it but there’s no way we’d want our kids mixing with the kids who go to private schools.

purpleme12 · 28/10/2023 18:45

🤣

MintJulia · 28/10/2023 18:46

Londiniumrocks · 28/10/2023 18:43

No way. We can afford it but there’s no way we’d want our kids mixing with the kids who go to private schools.

Ah well, their loss. 😂

AfterWeights · 28/10/2023 18:52

We have a household income of 250-300k (varies a bit with bonuses).

We could comfortably afford private school. We've chosen state.

AfterWeights · 28/10/2023 18:53

We can afford it but there’s no way we’d want our kids mixing with the kids who go to private schools.

This 😂

Whyohwhywyoming · 28/10/2023 19:14

I’m ethically opposed to private education however if I could pay for ADHD to go to a school which suited him better than the secondary he attends, I probably would just because he’s having such a miserable time. I don’t think a typical private school would be any better. But if a school existed that would suit him I would pay for it. If that makes sense!

Londiniumrocks · 28/10/2023 19:21

‘Ah well, their loss. 😂’

indeed! From my experience of working with secondaries, private and state, they’re desperately in need of some diversity.

TheaBrandt · 28/10/2023 19:21

Well mine go to state school yet dd2 socialises pretty much exclusively with the private school gang who are at our house most weekends or she at theirs. She is as we speak at another of their parties. Her all girl state school peers are “neeks” apparently the private school kids are more fun. Not sure how I feel about this but not much I can do really.

SoShallINever · 28/10/2023 19:29

Well it's a tricky one. DH taught in a public school for 20years, we were offered free places but politely said no.
There were a lot of drugs in his school and some of the parents were erm....a bit dodgy.
We sent ours to a local faith school, they all did brilliantly and had amazing opportunities particularly in rowing, cricket, drama and top class choral facilities. They have great careers ahead of them and they are all anti drugs.
I have friends and family members who went to private/pubic schools and honestly, none of them have done any better than ours.

Xenia · 28/10/2023 19:43

People can just pick what they prefer when they have choices. It's no big deal. I don't think a stat school would benefit from having private school children in it as if my private school children have some kind of gold dust that rubs off on state schoolers if they are all forced to be in the same school, nor vice versa. Nor can we really fairly generalise about things like drugs (which are in most private and state schools). There are also private schools for the academically challenged just as in a few UK areas there are grammar schools for the very bright. It is a huge mixed bag.

I was happy with my children's private schools for a whole mix of reasons. Yet in our bit of London plenty of rich children commute to various state grammars. It is a very different picture in the rich SE compared to NE England where I am from where grammars stopped in 1970. The cormprehensive near my parents house got 27% A and A star in 2022 and here in London one of my children's school (which is selective entry) got 77% A and A in 2023. My sibling's old school in the NE (private) in 2022 got A and A.

ClareBlue · 29/10/2023 01:39

The best option is to move to a catchment for a really good state school. This might cost, but think of it as the same as paying for a private school. I went to a private school but there was a really good state school option available. I'm not sure what my parents were actually thinking. Good State Schools avoid that real entitled edge of some private schools but still achieve full potential.

Nevermind31 · 29/10/2023 01:51

No private school anywhere near us - would need to travel for at least 30-45 mins (more likely more) and I don’t want that for my children.
however, if I find that they are not happy at the local secondary (no grammars here either) then we would absolutely consider it (and possibly move).
most people from our neighbourhood will either move for secondary, or travel for private school - that does worry me a bit

coxesorangepippin · 29/10/2023 01:12

Yes I'd pick private school every time

I went to a shitty comp in a rough area that was full of scumbags. It was dog eat dog every day, survival of the fittest

I wish I'd have gone to private school!

coxesorangepippin · 29/10/2023 01:13

We can afford it but there’s no way we’d want our kids mixing with the kids who go to private schools.

This

😂

^

Exactly. Friggin scraping the bottom of the barrel, ho ho, not for me

Londiniumrocks · 29/10/2023 07:20

‘I went to a shitty comp in a rough area that was full of scumbags. It was dog eat dog every day, survival of the fittest

I wish I'd have gone to private school!’

or maybe just a school that wasn’t ‘full of scumbags’?

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