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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clubbing in your 40s

218 replies

Canisaysomething · 31/08/2023 00:22

Not an AIBU as such. But my DC are finally at an age they can be left with baby sitters and I want to go clubbing. I want a night out in London similar to Shoreditch 2005 - 2010, Shunt lounge London Bridge if that means anything to anyone.

Is clubbing always a disappointment in your 40s or can those nights out in your late 20s be recreated?

OP posts:
Pista41 · 31/08/2023 12:48

The dancing though! Has it changed? I would worry about standing out if a more mixed-age club.

It really hasn’t! I think that’s partly the thing, those of us in our 40s/early 50s are the original ravers and the DJs/music is still the same! So if anything that gives you a certain status (or makes you feel like you have it anyway:)

It’s not the same as when older people were at clubs when we were younger, that multi generational aspect of dance music really is there now. I’ve done We Out Here the last two years and been out till the end, they were celebrating 50 years of hip hop this year mental as that seems. And we were dancing away to all the drum and bass djs we used to - if anything it’s our thing still more than the younger crowd!

Redruby2020 · 31/08/2023 13:39

Beepbopadooda · 31/08/2023 00:51

I'm 34 and went to a club three weeks ago. A man a similar age to me approached me and said "you look like you might remember Woolworths too!" 😳🤦

🤦‍♀️🤣🤣 Omg that's a new one!

Squiblet · 31/08/2023 18:17

Thanks for all the recommendations everyone, especially @SagittariusDwarf ! Quite excited about Bugged Out - I used to go hear Erol Alkan spin back in the day. And Orbital give me happy flashbacks 🤩

drearydear · 31/08/2023 18:22

Pista41 · 31/08/2023 12:48

The dancing though! Has it changed? I would worry about standing out if a more mixed-age club.

It really hasn’t! I think that’s partly the thing, those of us in our 40s/early 50s are the original ravers and the DJs/music is still the same! So if anything that gives you a certain status (or makes you feel like you have it anyway:)

It’s not the same as when older people were at clubs when we were younger, that multi generational aspect of dance music really is there now. I’ve done We Out Here the last two years and been out till the end, they were celebrating 50 years of hip hop this year mental as that seems. And we were dancing away to all the drum and bass djs we used to - if anything it’s our thing still more than the younger crowd!

That interesting. Thanks

Though the idea of dancing still makes me feel apprehensive (payback for when my cousins and I used to privately laugh at the older generation 'ankle-bashing' dancing at parties)

melon234 · 31/08/2023 19:07

Oh I loved clubbing... creamfields, fabric, MOS! Was a student in London early 2000s.

I think those days are over for me.

I would go see Pete tong do his thing in the royal Albert hall with an orchestra though

TwizzerlingToadstools · 31/08/2023 19:15

I love dancing, l do get up and dance at weddings, parties etc but clubbing wouldn't appeal. I was very much a disco girl in my youth, clubs have never really appealed.
I went to an 80s night a couple years ago and it was awful. The music was good, but it was packed to the rafters of really drunk middle age women, screaming and shouting. One woman collapsed and the band has to stop whilst an ambulance was called.
I prefer having a little dance at home now.

Calismom · 31/08/2023 22:49

august1 · 31/08/2023 02:50

Annie Mac's Before Midnight events look fab - likely great music and all over before 12 as the name suggests! Good luck OP!

This!! Went recently, hardly anyone under 30, such a fun evening dancing. It finished at 10 and was home and in bed by midnight!

Globules · 31/08/2023 23:08

The guy I'm currently seeing is massively into his CDJs. I love listening to him mixing too, as we're both of a similar era to you OP.

It's sheer bliss dancing round his front room for 4-5 hours at a time while he plays. Gin on tap. Disco lights blaring. Kick the heels off mid way through. Then a sofa to flop onto when he's finished rather than finding a cab.

For those of you who haven't come across it, listen to Rabbithole by Camelphat. Easily the best dance tune of the last few years imo.

CamelPhat, Jem Cooke - Rabbit Hole (Audio)

CamelPhat, Jem Cooke– Rabbit Hole (Official Audio)Listen here: https://smarturl.it/RabbitHoleCPGet it on iTunes https://smarturl.it/RabbitHoleCP/iTunesAppl...

https://youtu.be/09vAAk2PzcY?si=nuke0bupsVV5UuXa

merrymelodies · 01/09/2023 05:17

In my day, it was Xenon, Stringfellows, The Venue and Annabel's.

ThinWomansBrain · 01/09/2023 06:56

I did a lot of clubbing in my teens, mostly struggling with mortgage in my 20's - and lived a costly cab journey from central London.
Late 30's, moved to central London - about six months of clubbing several times a week because I could... and walk home or £5 for a cab home.
Then I realised that just because I could.... I didn't really enjoy it any more.

leccybill · 01/09/2023 07:24

We've got a Back to the 90s type festival happening locally next weekend and an old 90s nightclub is getting renovated and reopened.
Not sure I'd go though. I do still turn up the car radio when they play any old clubbing tunes I recognise. You're Not Alone still absolutely stands up.

PizzaEater54 · 01/09/2023 07:30

Do it! There are definitely places to go. The last night I had out clubbing was at an over 30s night in Central London. You had to show ID to get in (everyone in the queue thought it was hilarious). We were literally the last ones on the dance floor.

I also went to a good brunch a few years pre-pandemic which attracted an older crowd. The DJ was great, the crowd were a similar age and there was such a good vibe. It finished at 5pm so most of us who had bonded on the dance floor went for drinks across the road.

MeOldBamboo · 01/09/2023 07:40

@PizzaEater54 was that Age Against the Machine? If so, I’ve been there and it was a great night. At 50, I actually felt like one of the younger ones. They played bangers all night and we all let our hair down and didn’t care what we looked like! You can’t beat a good dance.

rightherewaiting · 01/09/2023 07:41

SomePosters · 31/08/2023 00:35

I do and I love it more now than in my much more awkward younger years

I agree. I am so much more confident now. I just can't last all night

RocketIceLollie · 01/09/2023 07:46

I remember when I used to go clubbing and spot an older person in the club amongst all the youngsters and i swore I would never become that person.

pinkpedi · 01/09/2023 07:59

@AlphaAlpha
Omg there's a fellow clocky here!! 🤣🤣🧡 is the day thing you're going to Camden?

I love clubbing, it's in my blood. I've just got back from Ibiza and had THE BEST time.

You have to find the right club night/day to go to! Depends on what music you like!

QueenofFox · 01/09/2023 08:08

Coming on here to suggest drumsheds or beams (or even Printworks). I got about 2/3 times a year to either day or night and it’s a proper dance that makes me forget the day to day. I couldn’t do it every weekend but every so often with a couple of close friends is a real joy.

Original poster
Canisaysomething · 01/09/2023 08:14

drearydear · 31/08/2023 12:20

The dancing though! Has it changed? I would worry about standing out if a more mixed-age club.

I do dance as a hobby - tap and other 'outing' dance, but different kettle of fish.

It would have to be a venue where it didn't matter how you danced or whether you looked "cool" as I also have no idea what to wear on a night out now either!

OP posts:
nobodysdaughternow · 01/09/2023 08:16

I did the Annie Mac festival in London this year - it was fucking awesome!

Absolutely loads of beautiful 50+ women in the prime of their lives, giving it some.

I am going to see Chemical Brothers in October.

MistyTrains2 · 01/09/2023 08:23

I need to read this thread and go clubbing! I tend to prefer day festivals these days.

Original poster
Canisaysomething · 01/09/2023 08:25

Absolutely loving all of these suggestions everyone! MN has filled me with hope! I've made a note of every single one. It sounds like there's going to be a MN contingent at the October Dumshed night 😄.

I'm also going to give some festivals a go again after having not been to a festival for 20 years. I really just want to lose myself in the music again, dancing around my kitchen with the children just isn't cutting it anymore!

OP posts:
belleadele · 01/09/2023 08:55

I’m 41 and my husband is 49 and we go clubbing in London at least every couple of months. Annie Mac’s before midnight is great as it ends early. We used to go to Printworks until it closed and will now go to Drumsheds, never felt “old”. Also fabric is very non-judgemental. Phonox in Brixton is supposed to be good and Night Tales in Hackney . I’d look on Dice and Resident Advisor and just go for it!

SomePosters · 01/09/2023 09:04

RocketIceLollie · 01/09/2023 07:46

I remember when I used to go clubbing and spot an older person in the club amongst all the youngsters and i swore I would never become that person.

People are judgey twats wherever you go. Ever tried being overweight in a gym?

I don’t live my life to impress teenagers in clubs or men in Lycra. I live it to please me and I’m fucking winning

Pipsquiggle · 01/09/2023 09:14

I think the key is finding like minded people and going with them

We went to Pacha, when we were 40 - I hated it, 1 person loved it, the rest were in the middle.

It's just so different to going in your teens & early 20s (Hacienda, Cream, Ministry of Sound and Gatecrasher were my era) ..................... and I am older and just don't want to rave all night.

Pipsquiggle · 01/09/2023 09:27

At Pacha I mainly hated paying 10euros for 500ml of water!!

Also no one really danced - they were kind of swaying. It felt really pretentious, like dancing was beneath them.