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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clubbing in your 40s

218 replies

Canisaysomething · 31/08/2023 00:22

Not an AIBU as such. But my DC are finally at an age they can be left with baby sitters and I want to go clubbing. I want a night out in London similar to Shoreditch 2005 - 2010, Shunt lounge London Bridge if that means anything to anyone.

Is clubbing always a disappointment in your 40s or can those nights out in your late 20s be recreated?

OP posts:
AceofPentacles · 31/08/2023 07:13

I went to an after club in my 40s and people thought I was undercover police.

Themosswidow · 31/08/2023 07:14

I go to ‘spiritual’ type dance events. Ecstatic dance/ conscious clubbing/ 5 rhythms that sort of thing. You have more roam to dance, no one sweats on you, and the people are nice and you can genuinely dance or move however you want. I’d give that a go instead if I were you. You don’t need to be spiritual to go.

TheAOEAztec · 31/08/2023 07:14

You can't recreate but you can go and have a hell of a fun! Enjoy!

TheAOEAztec · 31/08/2023 07:16

Late 30s and still can go until 3am in oldies club. Which is now playing 90s-00s music so the last good years of music😂

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 31/08/2023 07:18

This is so good Grin Saturday Night Live mums go clubbing

merrymelodies · 31/08/2023 07:21

Jeez! I'm 60 and would love to go clubbing again. I miss it but suspect I'll feel uncomfortably out of place. Boo hiss!

TheFutureIs · 31/08/2023 07:21

I've found going to festivals and heading to the dance tent a satisfactory alternative to going clubbing. Even better I get to take my dd with me and have a dance with her

SagittariusDwarf · 31/08/2023 07:23

AlphaAlpha · 31/08/2023 00:38

Disagree.

I go 'out' maybe only 2 or 3 times a year, They're usually some sort of reunion night (or even better, day) from my days of hard clubbing in the 90s/2000s. Events such as Clockwork orange are great, such a good range of ages but the majority I would say over 35 at the least. I'm off out in a couple of weeks to a club night reunion birthday thing, it's a day one too!
I'd say go for it, life is what you make it, it's not as if you want to go to a dodgy ikon/oceana type place!

Show quote history

@Aquamarine1029 is said "reunion birthday thing" named after a fruit by any chance? 👀

I too go "out out" approx once per quarter. There's a number of London club nights (well, actually, day events) for those who used to enjoy back in the day.

newbie202020 · 31/08/2023 07:24

I went to a day festival in London recently. Was amazing and just down the road from where I live. I joined a group of 40+ ravers online before I went and bumped into a few there who were all very friendly. Had an absolutely amazing day - age range was probably early 20's to mid-40's. Would definitely recommend- just do it, but just be thoughtful about where you go if you don't want to be be surrounded by teenagers!

Justleaveitblankthen · 31/08/2023 07:26

pilates · 31/08/2023 03:58

I remember when I was young and clubbing, you would look at the older ones and think why are you here.

I remember.

There would always be random blokes, staggered in from the pubs and quite content to stay by the bar and observe.

They would also try to start a flirty conversation if you passed 😂

EllaPaella · 31/08/2023 07:28

I'm 44 and still go clubbing, and yes to the dance tent at festivals too - usually full of people who were in their teens/20's during the 90's!
I live in a city which is full of clubs - lots of them are predominantly full of people who are in their 30s+. Nothing better than dancing all night, although I couldn't do it every weekend anymore 😁

Willmafrockfit · 31/08/2023 07:32

younger people are very active dancers i found!

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 31/08/2023 07:36

Go to festivals op

DoThePropeller · 31/08/2023 07:42

You def can! Try Drumsheds raves for a slightly older crowd. https://drumshedslondon.com/event/mas-tiempo/

Más Tiempo Present Skepta + Jammer - Drumsheds

https://drumshedslondon.com/event/mas-tiempo/

Usernamen · 31/08/2023 07:43

I’m 33 and I would not go near a club now.

Theyre crowded, noisy, sweaty places where people push past you constantly. Oh and the queuing. So much queuing.

It’s just not fun at all. I don’t think it was even that fun in my 20s, I just tolerated it to socialise with my ‘friends’ at the time.

I prefer a nice bar or pub, with somewhere to sit down and where I can hear myself think.

I also don’t drink anywhere near as much as i used to - I probably average 1 or 2 drinks a week, so I’d be sober if I went clubbing now which would make it even worse.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 31/08/2023 07:46

My friend in her mid 50s has just come back from a week of clubbing in Ibiza. She isn’t too old for clubbing. I think she goes because she enjoys the music, likes a boogie and has a giggle with friends. I don’t think she’s trying to recreate clubbing from her youth - just have fun.

Specialtoes · 31/08/2023 07:50

I don't go to the same clubs now as I did when young, but have some great nights out in my 50s. Usually bars with local bands playing.

User0224 · 31/08/2023 07:53

AceofPentacles · 31/08/2023 07:13

I went to an after club in my 40s and people thought I was undercover police.

😂

ShellySarah · 31/08/2023 07:54

I hated clubbing in my 20s so I cannot imagine the appeal now.

MojoMoon · 31/08/2023 07:54

Shunt was fantastic! Not sure any venue could match up to that amazing space.

Annie Mac's Before Midnight had great music but ends too early for it to count as a proper night out. However it's a decent compromise if you want to go out with someone who can't/won't stay out late.

But yes, it is fine and good to want to go out dancing in your 40s, 50s or beyond.

Thepeopleversuswork · 31/08/2023 07:55

I hate the idea that you have to stop doing stuff just because you've hit an arbitrary age milestone and the idea that people are "too old" for anything pisses me on in principle.

That said it's very difficult to replicate the excitement of clubbing as a young person when you're into proper middle age and the sort of thing which didn't bother you as a youth (lack of home comforts, good toilets, sticky dancefloor etc) will loom much larger in your 40s and 50s than in your 20s.

I went to a day party a few weeks ago in London for people of my vintage (came of age in 1990). It was fun and I had a good time, music was good, good mates etc but it felt ever so slightly artificial: something a little bit mannered about it. It very much felt like we were doing it as a nod to the past and that had we discovered it fresh we might not have bothered.

It's fun but it's never quite the same and if you expect it to be a total blast from the past you'll be disappointed.

Sigmama · 31/08/2023 07:55

Isn't ending early part of the point of Annie mac nights

barbarahunter · 31/08/2023 07:58

Beepbopadooda · 31/08/2023 00:51

I'm 34 and went to a club three weeks ago. A man a similar age to me approached me and said "you look like you might remember Woolworths too!" 😳🤦

😂😂

Mendingslowly · 31/08/2023 07:59

Perfectly normal in the gay scene IME :)

Wyksi · 31/08/2023 07:59

I’m in my late 40s

I love going clubbing with my (similarly aged) friends

We always have a great night out

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