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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clubbing in your 40s

218 replies

Canisaysomething · 31/08/2023 00:22

Not an AIBU as such. But my DC are finally at an age they can be left with baby sitters and I want to go clubbing. I want a night out in London similar to Shoreditch 2005 - 2010, Shunt lounge London Bridge if that means anything to anyone.

Is clubbing always a disappointment in your 40s or can those nights out in your late 20s be recreated?

OP posts:
rowanoak · 31/08/2023 08:03

I'm in my early 40s and love to go clubbing with my husband and/or friends when we can get a night off from the kids. Granted that only happens a handful of times a year, either when we're traveling to Vegas or SoCal or when it's our anniversary, birthday or a close friend or cousin's birthday. But that just makes it all the more special and fun.

We also don't drink anymore, having stopped in our early 30s when we started having kids and getting hangovers, but I love to dance and weed is legal where we live and travel so we have a fun night all around without alcohol or the worry of drama or having to worry about drunk driving etc like when we were younger. (Or embarrassing morning after drunken hook-ups like when I was single in grad school. Hahaha)

So, IMO clubbing is even funner now in many ways than it used to be back in the day.

smilesup · 31/08/2023 08:10

I'm nearly 50 and my friends and I go clubbing still. We tend to go to nights that are old rave nights (I sometimes feel young 😜). I'm also friends with a few relatively well-known DJs who point me in the right direction for good nights. I live in a big city so lots of choice. I even have the odd nibble on an E just to make it a bit more 90ish.
Lots of us still going. I do also enjoy gardening and jigsaws to balance it out though. 😁

MrsSkylerWhite · 31/08/2023 08:11

Anyone seen The Power of Parker?

TeeBee · 31/08/2023 08:15

God, couldn't think of anything worse. I'd feel like a teacher on duty. I'd probably bump into my kids.

Squiblet · 31/08/2023 08:15

SagittariusDwarf · 31/08/2023 07:23

@Aquamarine1029 is said "reunion birthday thing" named after a fruit by any chance? 👀

I too go "out out" approx once per quarter. There's a number of London club nights (well, actually, day events) for those who used to enjoy back in the day.

Show quote history

Could you list a few please? I'd love to do some daytime dancing but don't know how to find it in London. Annie Mac's early evening nights would be just the ticket, but they seem to sell out instantly.

MumblesParty · 31/08/2023 08:18

rowanoak · 31/08/2023 08:03

I'm in my early 40s and love to go clubbing with my husband and/or friends when we can get a night off from the kids. Granted that only happens a handful of times a year, either when we're traveling to Vegas or SoCal or when it's our anniversary, birthday or a close friend or cousin's birthday. But that just makes it all the more special and fun.

We also don't drink anymore, having stopped in our early 30s when we started having kids and getting hangovers, but I love to dance and weed is legal where we live and travel so we have a fun night all around without alcohol or the worry of drama or having to worry about drunk driving etc like when we were younger. (Or embarrassing morning after drunken hook-ups like when I was single in grad school. Hahaha)

So, IMO clubbing is even funner now in many ways than it used to be back in the day.

Do you drive after smoking weed?

SagittariusDwarf · 31/08/2023 08:25

Squiblet · 31/08/2023 08:15

Could you list a few please? I'd love to do some daytime dancing but don't know how to find it in London. Annie Mac's early evening nights would be just the ticket, but they seem to sell out instantly.

Show quote history

sure! Not sure what sort of music you are into, trance and hard house were my thing back in the day (and still listen to it all the time at home). Theres Peach at Koko (formerly known as Camden Palace) in a couple of weeks, and there's also Clockwork Orange events which a PP mentioned, and there's also Frantic and Trance Sanctuary - which tend to be either at Camden palace or Ministry of Sound. They finish around 9pm in time to get the tube home and have an early night :) Am sure there's many others too, I tend to not branch out these days and just cart myself to the events I used to go to when I was youngster

Original poster
Canisaysomething · 31/08/2023 08:28

AceofPentacles · 31/08/2023 07:13

I went to an after club in my 40s and people thought I was undercover police.

😂

OP posts:
ASGIRC · 31/08/2023 08:34

While the queue to get into Heaven is my idea of an actual nightmare, there are great dancy night out spots in London that i would go to in a heart beat!

The Pheonix Arts Club is very niche, and not exactly a night club, but theres plenty of dancing and the cheesy music is a must!

Freedom in Soho also has a good vibe, though I prefer it when its cheese and not dancy music.

go out! Enjoy!

Peony654 · 31/08/2023 08:36

It’s not always a disappointment but I wouldn’t expect it to be like in your 20s.

DoThePropeller · 31/08/2023 08:37

DoThePropeller · 31/08/2023 07:42

You def can! Try Drumsheds raves for a slightly older crowd. https://drumshedslondon.com/event/mas-tiempo/

I actually meant to post the link to Bugged Out on 21st October which is Basement Jaxx, Orbital, Hot Chip, Erol Alkan etc. starts at midday and finishes at 10:30pm. Perfect!

HipHopBanzai · 31/08/2023 08:43

I still go out occasionally . I went to a dance festival over the weekend which had a much older crowd. Don't reckon I saw anybody under 30 there. Had a great night. I only got a day ticket though as definitely didn't fancy a whole weekend of it.

I live in a big city and there are definitely some nights that have an older crowd, generally because of the DJs they book.

1990s · 31/08/2023 08:44

Egg 😬

@Canisaysomething you can certainly go out. I am lucky enough to have a large group of friends in late 30s early 40s who are still very much out a few times a month - including many people with kids.

Lots if good suggestions upthread, for Annie Mac before midnight you just need to check when tickets come out and be ready, Drumsheds is just opening and will be great, in Brixton Effra Social has some pop-ier nights, Heaven is great on a Friday. Lots of soho bars actually get dancy later on even if they’re small.

mrstea301 · 31/08/2023 08:46

Canisaysomething · 31/08/2023 00:53

@louderthan I'm craving a night out with a bit of weird theatrics thrown in followed by a morning of recounting what happened. But that probably doesn't happen in your 40s... it's probably just a night out followed by breakfast with the kids.

@Time40 more than happy to wear comfy trainers!

It can still happen - I went to see Carl Cox recently for my 40th birthday and it was fab! There were about 14 of us out, everyone was having a really good time, we were all pretty drunk and then we spent the next few days piecing the day together from our memories and photographs 😂
Just go for it - I had the absolute best day and loved every minute. The only drawback was how sore my neck was after it (I must have been throwing my head about 😂) got a massage a couple of days later and was right as rain!

Pista41 · 31/08/2023 08:49

Ah Shunt!! I remember it well. Not sure there’s anything quite like that around, but yes, of course you can still have great nights out clubbing. And you’re not necessarily going to be surrounded by babies as one PP said, you just need to choose your place well. It may not be exactly the same, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be really fun.

afrikat · 31/08/2023 08:54

I'm 42 and ended up in a local club a few months ago, had a brilliant night. Danced and danced and had random chats with blokes who soon ran off when I mentioned I was married with kids.

AlphaAlpha · 31/08/2023 09:07

@SagittariusDwarf
Yes! Peach!
Such a good crowd, not as poncey as CO, just us old ravers having our hands in the air moments once more 🙌
See you there?!

Heyahun · 31/08/2023 09:08

im nearing 40 and my husband is mid 40s and loads of our friends in their 50s and we have never not gone out - i never thought to stop or wanted to - i just do it a bit less because I have a 2.5 year old - but we sometimes go out together or we take turns (depending on if we can afford a babysitter haha!)

I've been out at least once a month at a club night since the start of the year - and have tickets for drumsheds as others mentions above - for bugged out hot chip night and the Andy C one

before drumsheds it was print works

a lot of the bugged out stuff is great

always a mix of ages and loads my age and older too

the annie mac night is fun too

also go to glastonbury most years (if can get tickets obvs) and stay out all night clubbing in block 9

Heyahun · 31/08/2023 09:19

*and younger too i meant

AlphaAlpha · 31/08/2023 09:23

@Heyahun We're going to Bugged out in October, Hot Chip and Orbital are some of my favourite bands, just wish Sasha and Digweed were on the line up!

AdrianeMole · 31/08/2023 09:26

It was bad enough seeing all the munted punters when the lights came on at Fabric at the end of the night, and they were in their 20s

Heyahun · 31/08/2023 09:27

@AlphaAlpha oh yay! I was hoping my husband could come too as it's my birthday but all our babysitters not available unfortunately! BUT oh well I can still go hahh!!

I was so sad about IKEA closing down (it was our local one) assumed it would get turned into flats - then i saw the news it was going to be a bloody club hahaah - i was so happy!

AlphaAlpha · 31/08/2023 09:30

@Heyahun See ya there 😎

LunaNorth · 31/08/2023 09:33

I went with a bunch of 40 and 50-something friends to a 90s silent disco last weekend - we danced our arses off, and loved it so much we’re off to a Jo Whiley’s 90s Anthems night in a couple of weeks.

It’s another way of enjoying the music - I no longer drink and I’m happily married, so no copping off - but to lose myself in the music again was fantastic, we laughed non-stop and it was a great workout!