To ask why so many children are feral these days?

[ChocBanana]

I have two DC, one (13) with ASD and hypersensitivity, so she wears ear defenders and ear plugs in noisy environments.
However, today, we have had to leave a museum because of the behaviour of other kids.
I know it’s the last week of the holidays but we tend to prefer quieter places, or quieter times of day. We tend to go to museums and parks, woodlands or if we are going somewhere busier generally we go in the afternoon.

We went to a museum today near us, not a particularly big one. After about ten minutes, a mum came in with three kids and basically said “Off you go” and let them run riot. They were climbing on the exhibits, trying to pull things off the wall, picking up the listening device things and swinging them against the wall and one of them scribbled all over an information panel.
A member of staff asked them to be careful. The mum titled and says “Come on kids, we’re obviously not welcome.” Then on the way out one of them kicked a wall, leaving a scuff mark. As they left, another family came in, the was a display thing where you can pretend to dig for fossils, the two kids were throwing the sand at each other, then a third family came in, one of them, a teenager sat next to where my teenager was trying to regulate herself. She stood up and he instantly out his feet up on her bag then kicked it to the floor and put his feet up on the sofa.
The mum was chatting away to her partner, the youngest child was hiding under a shelf, then started pulling out all the display drawers at once and slamming them shut.

We had to leave at this point, my daughter was in tears.

Now, I said, I get that it’s the last week of the summer holidays. I get that many people are desperate for free things to do, and I know many children have various reasons for acting in various ways. I’m not asking for special treatment or being naive, but SERIOUSLY, AIBU to expect a certain level of behaviour in a museum?
If I am BU, any suggestions on where the hell I am supposed to take a 13 year old who struggles with people at the best of times?

To clarify, when I say ‘can’t be there for their children’, I mean due to needing both parents in full time work for instance.

Personally I think children are better behaved than they ever have been.
I find groups of teenagers have great manners and are far more mature than they were in the 90s and 00s.
I think we understand more about parenting these days , maybe they seem more ferel as young children but I honestly think that being patient with your child and not abusing them (smacking) pays dividends long term .

If mumsntters had their way kids would still be beaten with belts and locked in rooms for hours for punishment. Because compliance is most important of all and children must be seen not heard

midlands in the 80s

School aside, I disagree kids are worse behaved, i remember what my peers were like.

I do think the current discipline trends and incorrect use of 'gentle parenting' do have a hand in the types of misbehaviour we're seeing.

Gentle parenting shouldn't be ineffectively going 'lets not do that darling' while they're swinging off the railings and screeching.

If mumsntters had their way kids would still be beaten with belts and locked in rooms for hours for punishment. Because compliance is most important of all and children must be seen not heard

That's a ridiculous thing to say, and I suspect you know it.

Parents are 99% to blame, yes, but society is so wet these days and that has had an effect.

When I taught in a primary school we had special theme weeks throughout the term and I got flamed for suggesting a 'Good Manners Week' where children would be encouraged to do something for someone else every day - could be as simple as holding a door open, picking something up which someone had dropped, letting someone else go first, passing something at table etc etc. I was told I was imposing my middle-class standards on the children.😮Horrors! Child abuse alert.

a) since when have good manners been 'middle-class'? and
b) who cares what class the manners are if they embody consideration for other people?
c) if kids aren't taught social skills at home and schools refuse on pathetic ideological grounds to give them a steer, what hope is there for them or wider society?

I really hope attitudes have changed in education now - I'm sure they will have done. There were some crazy ideas in those days (early 2000s).