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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For thinking OH is rude to keep asking me to open + share my b'day chocs?

202 replies

QualityStreeter · 30/08/2023 02:48

It was my birthday a few days ago + I was given a large selection of chocs + sweets. OH keeps wanting me to open my presents so I can share them with him. He makes very unsubtle hints, like "I really feel like some chocolate, I wonder where I can find some".
AIBU to think this is rude + that the decision to open + share my birthday food presents should be mine?
On my birthday itself, after a meal out + cake, I felt over full. I told him I was too stuffed to eat anything else. After the 3rd or 4th "hint" to open some treats, I told him that he was being rude to keep asking.
But he has just continued to make these hints all the time. We've eaten some, just not as much as he'd like. I even opened some of the boring chocs tonight, not because I really wanted any, just to shut him up.
I will open + share all my presents eventually. We have kids; no treat has been 100% mine ever since they were born! But I don't want to gorge on my presents like he seems desperate too. They are mostly my favourite chocs that I only get as presents. I want to savour them over a month or two. I've stashed most of them away to bring out gradually. He is being so blatent I'm not sure if I trust him not to just help himself.

OP posts:
Speakerbox · 30/08/2023 08:10

Sorry op, I couldn’t be this precious about some chocolates. I’d just open them and tell him not to eat them all.

Also, you have excellent willpower to want save them to eat over a couple of months!

NorwayLass · 30/08/2023 08:10

He can just nip and get his own from the shop surely?

ChaToilLeam · 30/08/2023 08:12

What a greedy so-and-so! They are your chocs to eat if and when you please, and only to share if you feel inclined.

I presume he has legs so he can go buy himself a Twix somewhere if he is so desperate.

Dontjudgeme101 · 30/08/2023 08:16

HollieHobbie · 30/08/2023 04:28

The chocolates are her birthday presents why should she be forced to give away her presents just because someone else wants them? 😳😡

I totally agree with this!

TheBeesKnee · 30/08/2023 08:16

YANBU I'll bet he doesn't appreciate good chocolate, would chomp his way through in seconds then complain that it's not as good as a twix.

You need to tell us what kind of chocolate it is though! I am partial to a bit of Godiva.

towriteyoumustlive · 30/08/2023 08:16

It's bad enough when the kids do that!!

I'd be so annoyed I'd probably just throw the box and him and tell him he might ad well just eat them all himself given they no longer feel like a treat

boobot1 · 30/08/2023 08:20

In my house we dont ask, we just get, if they are there, they are to share.

TantalisingCantaloupe · 30/08/2023 08:23

ExDH was always like this. Up for sharing anything special belonging to the rest of us - only the 'sharing' always seemed to end in him eating it all (didn't like sharing his own though...). It turned me from an open, happy sharer to some kind of wierd jealous dragon hoarding my gifts (and protecting the kid's ones from him); really ungenerous seeming, but actually the only way to ensure I got any of the treat for me, myself (or the kids got any of their edible gifts). If things were opened when he wanted to 'share' he was the one who had the vast majority, sometimes the only person who ate any. You sound like me when I was being a dragon.

People who don't have a selfish 'sharer' in the house don't get it. Or sometimes, like ex, they 'don't get it' as it allows their selfishness to continue... You can't actually share with someone greedy who wants extra always, as then they always get the treat instead. Hide your gifts! I used to put mine in the attic...

pilates · 30/08/2023 08:23

Are you always this possessive of your chocolates? As long as he doesn’t gorge them all I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

BibbleandSqwauk · 30/08/2023 08:25

@boobot1 even birthday presents? My absolute favourite chocolatier truffles are £30 a box. I get them about once every three years. I don't want to "scoff" them as another poster said, I don't want them all gone in one night and I definitely would go ape if people just helped themselves. Why is it wrong to want some things kept specially?

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 30/08/2023 08:26

Ime it is good for dc to accept some things are actually just for you! Your dh is a rude savage with no respect... He can go get his own chocolate..

RoseMartha · 30/08/2023 08:30

I would pop to the shop next time I am out and buy him a bar of cadburys.

When I am going to have a couple of my birthday chocolates, I would offer them around.

Wick55 · 30/08/2023 08:34

I would just share them because if I want more I’d just make him get me some more or just buy myself some! It’s a bit sad u have to wait all year for a bit of nice chocolate to yourself, and then ‘savour’ it over a long period of time?? Treat yourself more often.

EveryKneeShallBow · 30/08/2023 08:34

The trouble is, some people simply cannot have one or two and put them back until next time. I’ve had two in my life like this. My mother would open and eat an entire selection box, or her favourite, one of those trays of toffee with a hammer. My husband was the same. A whole chocolate cake in a couple of days. Whereas I often have it sitting in the cupboard for weeks. So I would definitely ration it out and hide the rest.

Tambatamba · 30/08/2023 08:36

He sounds really annoying.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/08/2023 08:37

Odd relationship, where you don’t want to share.

purplebluediscorain · 30/08/2023 08:37

Is what your holding onto the most expensive chocolate in the world? Can you not afford to treat yourself to a bit of chocolate at any other time? Me and my partner would usually just open and share i infact if it was either of us we’d allow the other to open and take a bit if wanted. It’s chocolate that surely isnt that that expensive

drpet49 · 30/08/2023 08:38

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 30/08/2023 04:00

It's chocolate. Share them and buy some more. Jesus.

This

Tambatamba · 30/08/2023 08:39

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/08/2023 08:37

Odd relationship, where you don’t want to share.

He doesn't wait to be offered, he nags like a pathetic man-child.

It shows a lack of boundaries. They're there so he has to have them.

BibbleandSqwauk · 30/08/2023 08:40

@purplebluediscorain see my post above. £30 for a small box of truffles. The OP doesn't say but hers could be that, or a Hotel Chocolate selection about £2O. That's a lot of money to "just buy more". It has nothing to do with the quality of a relationship, other than the husband in this case not respecting his wife's wishes.

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/08/2023 08:42

He's a greedy pig. Send him to the local shop to buy some chocolate for himself. Hate how you can't have anything for yourself!

Iwantmyoldnameback · 30/08/2023 08:43

They have the Christmas tubs out now, just buy a couple of them and keep your special chocolate for you. (And do share what it is Id like to try something special myself. Not a fan of Hotel Chocolate).

DelurkingAJ · 30/08/2023 08:46

Nagging for someone’s birthday chocs is very unattractive. Yes, DH and I share nicer chocs but only when the person who receives them wants one. Cheaper chocs I will ask or he will ask and we crack on.

BackToOklahoma · 30/08/2023 08:51

I wouldn’t be like you about it, but maybe that’s because my partner wouldn’t be pestering me for it. Your partner sounds annoying. If he’s so obsessed with chocolate, can he not just keep some in the house for when he fancies some. Why is chocolate such a big deal?

Saoirse82 · 30/08/2023 08:54

mumofboys8787 · 30/08/2023 04:02

What the hell?! Just let him eat the fecking chocolates you stingebag

😂