AIBU to think it is odd that DH has started dog walking with a 23 year old?

[themadcarter]

I'm honestly hoping for people to tell me I am being absolutely delusional and insecure, I can assure you I am actively not wanting to make a big deal out of nothing and hence I have come here for a reality check on how others would actually see it, as it's very easy to think all kinds of things in your head.

DH is 35 and I admit, usually quite an isolated man. He works from home and does have very few friends and hobbies. He has wanted a dog his whole life and I admit that I am not a huge animal person, I do love our dog but DH does do almost it all, especially as he is the one at home (I work full time out the house). He had to go for an in person workshop a few months ago and there was an icebreaker challenge (I'm honestly shocked they still do this!) and this 23 year old mentioned her new puppy (hers was only about 13 weeks and ours 8 months at this time) and apparently they clicked over the dogs?? Not trying to be a downer here, but surely owning a dog isn't that rare, I am friends with about 8 people that have dogs. I instantly found it rather childish when he was telling me but this woman ended up giving her number to him at the end of the day. DH tells me how he told her how much me and her would get along and tried to say as much as he could to me to make it sound so obviously nothing more than friends but I just got the impression he had a bit of chemistry there.

Anyway, don't want to go on for pages and pages with every little detail. Basically he did text her and they arranged a play date for the dogs, the messages to seem very innocent and he would always tell me and it didn't seem like he was telling me for any weird motive and was just out of excitement (don't want to shit on his cereal, but I'm really not getting it and never have). She then got him a birthday present only a week later and now they meet up twice a week every week to walk the dogs... he's very open about it with me and is never trying to act secretive but it really rubs me up the wrong way, I think I must have issues because seriously, him even saying her name makes me cringe. Am I just massively insecure?? I simply don't like it, she sounds a bit obsessive with him and DH has said how he does purposely leave a minimum 12 hour delay before responding to her because she replies almost instantly and constantly sends him pictures of her dog, I said to him just tell her to stop and he really just says "no I don't mind her doing it if she wants to" so then I ask why he delays replying and he says because he just doesn't want the expectation of him just being there to respond all day.

Seriously I hate the whole thing. AIBU?

[PrimalOwl10]

Im a Dog lover I don't think this is normal behaviour

[Hummingbird89]

Nah, alarm bells would be ringing.
Funny how when these things happen, it’s never another man that people “click” with, is it?

[themadcarter]

@PrimalOwl10

Im a Dog lover I don't think this is normal behaviour

It's really odd. I told a friend a very brief outline and she just said it was nice our dog has a friend and then she switched up and said he must be cheating so now I don't know what to think! Meeting up every week is too much imo, surely you wouldn't do that as new casual friends who bonded over just the fact you both have a dog? He has offered for me to come but he knows I couldn't think of anything worse

[MakeADecision]

Erm no fucking way would I allow my DH to do this!

open your eyes OP!

[themadcarter]

@Hummingbird89

Nah, alarm bells would be ringing.
Funny how when these things happen, it’s never another man that people “click” with, is it?

Exactly, bet he could find hundreds of men around here than have a bloody dog, based on what I hear, he seems to pass loads, makes no sense he just bonds with a 23 year old over the fact they have a dog. I don't actually think he has cheated on me, I really don't but I do think there is some kind of feelings/chemistry there

[Sooty20235]

To be fair it sounds like your dh knows that this could cause issues, probably doesn't "like like" her but is enjoying the attention...what man wouldn't urgh. He knows he should put a stop to it with the 12 hours thing but just can't bring himself too. I do think she is being really inappropriate and he should back off.

[RamblingRosieLee]

I think he needs to be told.
She may fancy him does he want to confuse her or carry on.

[LadyVictoriaSponge]

Funny how these men never click with 62 year old Frank and his new puppy.

[BusinessClass]

His head is turning faster than the demon in The Exorcist.

[themadcarter]

That's the thing, I can't tell if it's just her pursuing him especially because he does delay his replies and it is her asking for the next day they are going but he always arranges the day with her. Does always tell me to come along too because "i would get on really well with her" I think fucking not, I already dislike her 😠

[MakeADecision]

@BusinessClass

His head is turning faster than the demon in The Exorcist.

😂👏

[Chowtime]

I'd be warning her off personally.

Like others have said, of all the people to click with, he clicked with an attractive 23 year old woman who gives him a lot of attention.

It's a recipe for disaster. If he's not already shagging her, he definately wants to and given the chance more than likely will. Don't give him that chance.

[IdaPrentice]

She wants more than friendship. He's flattered by the attention. This is dangerous territory.

[Jellybean23]

I would take up the invite and go along for the walk. Afterwards, I'd be telling him you aren't comfortable with him meeting up with her and if he continues, you know where you stand.

[Hawkins0090]

If this was reversed it would be a different kettle of fish one would presume ?
He's been open and honest op, where's the trust ?

[RagzRebooted]

Have you thought about taking him up on the offer of going with them? It may put a dampener on her infatuation.

I get the impression he's enjoying the attention but has convinced himself (by telling you everything so there's not secret) that because he would never cheat on you and you know all about it, it's okay. It isn't okay, as it's not fair on you or her.

[Hawkins0090]

Also why are poster s advocating controlling behaviours, ?

[Asyousayit]

Get rid of the dog... but on a serious note what self respecting woman sends pictures of her dog to a married man and goes on 'doggy dates' with him. She's pursuing him and he's enjoying the flattery. Did she meet him during a works ice breaker?

[AquamarineGlass]

Yeah I would go.

It sounds like she is either pursuing him or quite naive.

Meeting her will help you frame your conversation with him.

I don't think he's cheating but it's quite an intense friendship quite quickly.

[Walesagogo]

Go along. He's relying on you not going. Just go and go and piss on her chips. If you usually hold hands, still do that on your walk. Then decide if you're happy for him to continue. I'd actually be tempted to go along everytime.

[ButterCrackers]

Time for you to start to walking the dog. She’d be surprised to see you.
Your dh has to tell her that he won’t be going on walks again with her. He also won’t be replying to her messages because he’ll be blocking her.

[Chersfrozenface]

She's pursuing him.

Who the hell buys a birthday gift for someone they meet to walk their dogs?

[EinyLinky]

I've started weekly dog walks with someone from work... who is a man 😳 is it really making it seem like you've got a thing for them? It's good for the dogs

[43ontherocksporfavor]

I think you need to start joining him in these dog walks!

[Hawkins0090]

@Chersfrozenface

She's pursuing him.

Who the hell buys a birthday gift for someone they meet to walk their dogs?

Why do colleagues buy gifts for each other ?