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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bad attitude after asking to use the loo in Costa? Pregnancy

334 replies

Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 21:37

I'm only about 12-13 weeks pregnant but need to wee a lot.

I went into a Costa store which I regularly buy coffee in and asked to use their loo. They declined . I said 'I'm pregnant' and the lady at the till reluctantly gave it to me, rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her colleague.

My partner felt like saying something

Am I wrong for asking to use the loo?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 22:33

Peajee · 29/08/2023 22:03

Seriously, some folk on here need to get a grip. It's not that big a deal to ask to use a toilet somewhere. I worked in hospitality for years and would never have had any issue allowing a pregnant woman, or anyone elderly or vulnerable, to use the toilet if they needed it. It's not as if it's a coach load of tourists trying to use them (which I had).

OP, they were probably just rolling your eyes as they maybe thought you were just saying you were pregnant. If you go in a lot they're going to see you're obviously pregnancy eventually anyway. I would just move on from it.

Thank you, yeah it's funny , the staff turn over in that particular store is so high . I'd never seen them before

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 29/08/2023 22:33

widowtwankywashroom · 29/08/2023 21:54

Nobody is being horrible to you
You asked if you were unreasonable and are being told yes
You're coming across as quite petulant

But she's ✨pregnant✨

moomoosaka · 29/08/2023 22:34

The real problem is the lack of public toilets

Batalax · 29/08/2023 22:34

I don’t ask. I just go directly to the loo.

Petrarkanian · 29/08/2023 22:34

I use any loo I can get too. You get bolder when you have an IBD.

moomoosaka · 29/08/2023 22:34

Batalax · 29/08/2023 22:34

I don’t ask. I just go directly to the loo.

How do you manage that without the code?

PeggyPiglet · 29/08/2023 22:35

People leave public toilets in a disgusting state. Only last week I was in a well known chain restaurant and someone had literally shit on the floor. A poor employee was walking towards me with cleaning stuff as I walked out, looking miffed.

I'm not surprised you have to buy something to use it nowadays.
You could have bought a flapjack or something.

thecatsarecrazy · 29/08/2023 22:36

12 to 13 weeks pregnant has no effect on needing to pee more so unless u bought a drink or something then your just being entitled. And unreasonable

LollipopChaos · 29/08/2023 22:36

I've never known Costa to have a code for the toilet???? I am going to go and investigate in my local one next week.

dcbc1234 · 29/08/2023 22:36

Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 21:50

Can we please now stop with the horrible comments, I'm not entitled . I go in there regularly to buy coffee etc but I was in a rush and desperately needed the loo

Show quote history

YANBU OP. I think being pregnant - getting the next generation into the world - something only biological women can do - is one of those things where common humanity means it would be unreasonable to refuse someone use of the facilities.
You could choose to also buy something if you can possibly afford to but if you need to go, you need to go....especially when pregnant.

WandaWonder · 29/08/2023 22:36

It's a customer toilet for people who buy things, being pregnant is not a get out of jail free card to excuse normal rules

Caramel102 · 29/08/2023 22:37

Didn’t realise so many people are the toilet police op😂 you did nothing wrong asking without having bought anything- it’s a toilet you are not a crazy immoral person by wanting to use it. I usually sneak into a busy pub or restaurant when I need the loo and there are no toilets around. The ladies should not have been rude to you, I expect they had a lot of people that day asking and are tired of sticking to the company protocol by constantly having to say no x

dcbc1234 · 29/08/2023 22:37

thecatsarecrazy · 29/08/2023 22:36

12 to 13 weeks pregnant has no effect on needing to pee more so unless u bought a drink or something then your just being entitled. And unreasonable

What a ridiculous callous comment. Especially on a parenting website.

Waffle78 · 29/08/2023 22:37

I wouldn't expect to be able to use a cafe toilet without buying something. Pregnant or not.

LollipopChaos · 29/08/2023 22:38

thecatsarecrazy · 29/08/2023 22:36

12 to 13 weeks pregnant has no effect on needing to pee more so unless u bought a drink or something then your just being entitled. And unreasonable

That's garbage. When I was 13 weeks pregnant I was having to pee every 20 mins at work!!

NameChange080823 · 29/08/2023 22:38

Yes, YABU, sorry. You could have at least bought a bottle of water or some biscuits.

moomoosaka · 29/08/2023 22:39

My partner felt like saying something like what? "Oh i'll buy a cookie thank you" "I'll complain to your manager" "my wife will poll aibu about this?"

LollipopChaos · 29/08/2023 22:40

I have walked into a cafe and asked if I could pay to use their toilet. They normally just wave me through.

Caramel102 · 29/08/2023 22:40

Also, where I live our Costa has actually opened up its toilet for the public to use as a friendly gesture, which proves it was not ridiculous to try and use it with your buying anything!

marriedatlastsight · 29/08/2023 22:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it looked like the work of a previously banned poster

DameCurlyBassey · 29/08/2023 22:42

I don't think you're wrong to ask. I would have let you use the loo. What's wrong with people?

Perhaps pregnant women and people with invisible disabilities should be given special cards to show establishments like that.

Maltaw · 29/08/2023 22:42

It's irrelevant if it's a local store or a big multinational it's still some poor employee who has to clean the loos.

The problem with allowing anyone to use the loos is that some people are revolting! I'm sure the OP wasn't revolting but if you say yes to some people it makes it harder to say no to others.

One of my kids worked at a Nero and had to clean the loos. It wasn't great, there are some odd people around 🫤

DameCurlyBassey · 29/08/2023 22:43

NameChange080823 · 29/08/2023 22:38

Yes, YABU, sorry. You could have at least bought a bottle of water or some biscuits.

But what if she was dying to go?

LouLou198 · 29/08/2023 22:43

Not really sure why so many are giving you such a hard time on this thread op.
I'm not pregnant, but since having babies I do need the loo a lot more often. If we go to any new place I always clock where there is a McDonald's because I know there will be a toilet in there. The lack of public toilets in so many places is ridiculous, when I shop I tend to stick to big retail parks with a supermarket instead of town centres, as I know I can always pop into the supermarket.

Naominumbers · 29/08/2023 22:43

No point in saying 'no horrible comments, please'. It's a public site and you can't police what people write.