Page 3 | Bad attitude after asking to use the loo in Costa? Pregnancy

Mummatobe98 · 2023-08-29T20:37:53+00:00

I'm only about 12-13 weeks pregnant but need to wee a lot. I went into a Costa store which I regularly buy coffee in and asked to use their loo. They declined . I said 'I'm pregnant' and the lady at the till reluctantly gave it to me, rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her colleague. My partner felt like saying something Am I wrong for asking to use the loo?

TheWayoftheLeaf · 29/08/2023 22:05

Don't bother with coffee shops they all lock their loos.

Look for: pubs, supermarkets, department stores.

They usually don't care who used the loo and they're open. I have IBS so would know 😂

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 29/08/2023 22:05

Your partner should have bought something while you went to the loo. It's a business so buy something!

ISpyNoPlumPie · 29/08/2023 22:06

gamerchick · 29/08/2023 22:00

Next time just buy something first OP. It's not a huge deal.

Yes yes, when you’re pregnant and completely desperate - just get in the queue for the till.

As a now non-pregnant adult with an ok functioning bladder I don’t worry too much about wetting myself. Bit cruel and humiliating that some people think that’s an ok outcome. I think cafes/restaurants/pubs should use their discretion for pregnant women, little kids and those with bladder/bowel issues. I wouldn’t have asked - I’d have run in and I think that’s fine. I’ve never had an issue where I live, most people are kind and understanding. Oh and the toddler potty training bit is worse (although travel potty! Not so good for adults!), I know where all the toilets are now…

Luxell934 · 29/08/2023 22:07

It’s Costa for gods sake, a million pound company, not some small business that’s going to lose out because one customer uses the toilet but doesn’t buy anything.

I’d boycott Costa and give your money to a local business if they are going to be funny about people using their precious toilets.

SamAndEIIa · 29/08/2023 22:07

Bingbangbongbash · 29/08/2023 21:47

Oh come on, this isn’t a small independent cafe, it’s a chain owned by coca-cola. It’s hardly going to matter to their bottom line if a few people use the loo without buying something. They even released a statement a few months ago after a similar incident, saying that staff should use their discretion especially regarding kids and pregnant women.

Of course you should be able to go to the toilet without spending money.

Right. But it’s not really about the company, is it? It’s about the individual store. It’s a franchise.

There was no saying that OP was going to leave the toilet clean etc, so yes there IS a cost to anyone using the toilet in a business. Now, when there is a benefit to the business (like the person making a purchase) then it’s offset by the money made by the business.

Op, if you need to pee this much in first tri, you are reaaaallly going to have to plan outings around toilets as your pregnancy progresses, and for postnatal.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 29/08/2023 22:08

LollipopChaos · 29/08/2023 21:54

I would have just walked in and used toilet without asking staff. They can't keep tabs on every customer in the shop. I wouldn't feel bad as you were desperate and pregnant.

They're usually locked and require a code

Hiddenvoice · 29/08/2023 22:09

The staff member is probably fed up of people asking when they aren’t buying anything. I understand it’s frustrating for you but the staff may get moaned at from managers about people using facilities and not buying anything.
Being pregnant too, I need to go constantly but a lot of places you need to purchase something, I usually buy a snack I can pop in a bag to eat later or a bottle of water.

ManchesterLu · 29/08/2023 22:10

People saying it's fine because there are no public toilets.. how is that their fault? I wouldn't expect people to knock on my door because there are no public toilets on our street.

Baabaapurplesheep · 29/08/2023 22:10

I’d have bought a bottle of water or something.

There were pretty much no toilets open in Covid so if pregnant or with small children or other needs basically couldn’t go anywhere.

QueenOfHiraeth · 29/08/2023 22:10

I think you have a pretty clear answer here OP.
We all (or mostly all) sympathise and many of us have been in that position ourselves but these are not public lavatories and are there for paying customers.
I had a similar issue a few weeks back when my little granddaughter needed a loo. The difference is that I went to the counter, explained our predicament and asked politely if we could used their loo then offered to buy something on our way out. No problem, no attitude

WimbyAce · 29/08/2023 22:12

It's tricky sometimes. I took my daughter to the opticians and she suddenly announced she was desperate for the toilet. I assumed the opticians would have their own loo but nope! Had to nip in to a cafe with her. I wouldn't make a habit of it but sometimes there are emergencies.

Amispringy · 29/08/2023 22:12

Winnipeggy · 29/08/2023 22:02

Why is everyone being such a dick on this thread? Pregnancy bladder is a killer and I thought one of the few perks is that pregnant women were allowed to wee in any establishment? Or is that an old wives tale?

Either way, stop being knobs, it's a wee.

I see the thread police have arrived

No one's being dicks, knobs, nasty or horrible

OP you should have bought something

Hbh17 · 29/08/2023 22:14

Fair enough, Costa coffee is undrinkable, but it's not their job to provide public toilets. It's not difficult to buy a cold drink to take away - it's the least you could do. Pregnancy doesn't give someone the right to take advantage.

Spidey66 · 29/08/2023 22:16

As someone who needs a wee half an hour before the urge, I’d vote yanbu but obviously this is an unpopular opinion here. Like someone else said it’s Costa, they’re hardly going to go under if one person an hour used the loo without buying.

Urge incontinence is horrible and very embarrassing. Yes there are pads but even with one on it’s not designed like a nappy for loads of full wees! Most women would still rather use a loo than wet a pad.

Original poster

Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 22:16

Spidey66 · 29/08/2023 22:16

As someone who needs a wee half an hour before the urge, I’d vote yanbu but obviously this is an unpopular opinion here. Like someone else said it’s Costa, they’re hardly going to go under if one person an hour used the loo without buying.

Urge incontinence is horrible and very embarrassing. Yes there are pads but even with one on it’s not designed like a nappy for loads of full wees! Most women would still rather use a loo than wet a pad.

My bladder was weak pre-pregnancy but it's worse now

OP posts:

NewName122 · 29/08/2023 22:16

Yes yabu op.

kitsuneghost · 29/08/2023 22:17

I think a lot of people are being really mean to OP. There is a severe lack of toilets in the UK and we are expected to buy something every time you need to go. What even is the cheapest thing in Costa, about £2. So say you need 5 times on a day out you would be £10 in toilets. As for buying a coffee - that's really going to help.

Someone mentioned the council incentivising businesses to let people use the toilets. This is a great idea, I have never seen this.

NoTouch · 29/08/2023 22:17

My partner felt like saying something

And he should have, something both to support you and recognise you are using a businesses facilities such as "can i have two cookies to takeaway please"

Moveoverdarlin · 29/08/2023 22:17

In your position, I would have bought a bottle of water to take-away after going for a wee, then they have nothing to grumble about. It is a bit skanky just using someone’s loo.

Original poster

Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 22:18

kitsuneghost · 29/08/2023 22:17

I think a lot of people are being really mean to OP. There is a severe lack of toilets in the UK and we are expected to buy something every time you need to go. What even is the cheapest thing in Costa, about £2. So say you need 5 times on a day out you would be £10 in toilets. As for buying a coffee - that's really going to help.

Someone mentioned the council incentivising businesses to let people use the toilets. This is a great idea, I have never seen this.

This is so true, we had been to Nero an hour earlier and spent 11 pounds on 2 coffees and a cookie

OP posts:

kitsuneghost · 29/08/2023 22:19

Moveoverdarlin · 29/08/2023 22:17

In your position, I would have bought a bottle of water to take-away after going for a wee, then they have nothing to grumble about. It is a bit skanky just using someone’s loo.

Skankier than resorting to a back alley?

electriclight · 29/08/2023 22:19

Fine for you to ask. Fine for her to be a bit annoyed that you weren't a customer and the millionth person this week to claim to be desperate due to pregnancy. She let you use it so let it go.

Original poster

Mummatobe98 · 29/08/2023 22:19

Moveoverdarlin · 29/08/2023 22:17

In your position, I would have bought a bottle of water to take-away after going for a wee, then they have nothing to grumble about. It is a bit skanky just using someone’s loo.

I've said please can we stop with the horrible comments

OP posts:

LollipopChaos · 29/08/2023 22:19

I remember when my child was 4 and desperate for toilet and the only place around was a supermarket and the man refused point blank to let my child use the toilet despite pleas that he would have an accident. In end had no choice but to use a bush outside the supermarket!

TrishTrix · 29/08/2023 22:19

I was desperate for a wee recently while out for a walk. Popped into a pub (it was quiet) and explained I was desperate for the loo but was going to buy a drink when I came out.

Then had to negotiate with the barman who was trying to reassure me that I didn't need to buy a drink just because I'd been to the loo! The irony was by this point in my day I was desperate for a caffeinated carbonated beverage!