Bad attitude after asking to use the loo in Costa? Pregnancy

[Mummatobe98]

I'm only about 12-13 weeks pregnant but need to wee a lot.

I went into a Costa store which I regularly buy coffee in and asked to use their loo. They declined . I said 'I'm pregnant' and the lady at the till reluctantly gave it to me, rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her colleague.

My partner felt like saying something

Am I wrong for asking to use the loo?

Oh my god. That's what you get? That it's fault of businesses? Not "This is why council we pay and vote for needs to step up?"

Customer toilets are not public toilet.

This is why counils can do whatever the fuck they want. Or more accurately, don't have to do. What's next? Local boots as unwilling adult caring centre so council can close theirs and everything will be fault of Boots?

Imagine saying stuff like "local bookshop needs to stop being precious. People need access to internet so obviously they will sit and use wifi" after council closes last library.

I am starting to see how come this government is still there and am about to put a bet on them winning again.

Yabu the toilet s are for customers. You can ask nicely but they can refuse you. I found McDonald's toilets are easy to use.

Or maybe this is why councils need to be held to account rather than their responsibility being foisted onto businesses and then the businesses getting the bad press when they -correctly - say "Not our problem"

It is the council's responsibility to provide public facilities, including public toilets, not private businesses.

That's like saying "The council have shut the library so it's Waterstones' responsibility to provide free books to anyone who wants to read them and they're unreasonable not to just lend them out because they have the books available" or "The public toilets at the local park have been closed so instead any park user needing a wee should be able to knock on the door of any house backing onto the park and ask to use their toilet and permission should be freely given since the toilets are right there anyway and it's not hurting anyone to let someone use it."

It is the council's responsibility to provide public facilities, including public toilets, not private businesses

Private businesses exist in a wider society. They can put offering access to toilets in their ESG reports.

And no, I don't expect private homes to offer up their loos to random users. And while books are essential for education and leisure, they are not a medical need.

I also don't disagree that councils should actually provide the services we pay them to provide (see also libraries and rubbish tips) but what do you do in the meantime? Pee in the street?

I needed to pee tons really early. It wasn't about pressure, I read it's about how certain hormones affect you? Not a midwife so not sure but I googled it cos my peeing was frankly ridiculous early pregnancy with my first.

You're entirely missing the point that the responsibility belongs to the councils but the more private businesses take up the slack the less funding they will find for those services.

If, however, private businesses say "No, we are not going to subsidise XYZ, you will have to find the funding from somewhere to maintain the infrastructure" then, in the short term, people will be inconvenienced but if they then get on to the right people IE the councils about the lack of provision, rather than going after the private businesses for not wanting to be a public convenience, then something will be done ... But that requires people to actually do something rather than just moan about Costa not being happy they are being used as a public toilet.

Edit: Spelling

I needed to pee tons really early. It wasn't about pressure, I read it's about how certain hormones affect you? Not a midwife so not sure but I googled it cos my peeing was frankly ridiculous early pregnancy with my first.

@SleepingStandingUp You are correct. In the first trimester your hormones make you pee.

They don't have a public loo.
They have a private loo.
For customers to use.

👏🏻

Plus as I have already said, it isn’t the CEO of Costa cleaning the toilets after 50 people have used it on a Saturday morning, it’s staff on the minimum wage. Why should they have to clean your excrement off the toilet in addition to their customers?

I agree with PPs: it would be so easy for councils to try to guilt businesses into providing toilets for everybody, but it wouldn't then take long for this to become taken completely for granted. Then, if a cafe subsequently had to close down for lack of (paying) customers, owners retiring or whatever, THEY would be the bad guys for 'taking away an essential public toilet from the community'.

What next: government cutting back on providing free school meals to save themselves money and then haughtily demanding that local cafes and sandwich shops should be morally bound to hand out free meals to kids from poor homes?

There's definitely an issue with the bizarre widespread perception that toilets do not cost anything, nor require any work, to provide. Anybody who understands how business works will realise that providing toilets is an overhead to the business, just like anything else. If you wouldn't expect a business to hand out free stock to anybody who feels entitled to it, why would you expect them to fund your toilet visit, when you have no business relationship with them at all?

Exactly!

Local council will pay (discount on business rates) a cafe/ hotel etc to be part of a comfort scheme where people can nip in and use the loo for free. They will only pay one place though within a certain area, my friend took part and got £3k for a year but had 50-200 people in to use the loo a day. Little tourist town, it put off her regulars and she dropped out again. Theres two places in two towns I know of that still take part but both are community charities. Most cafe owners drop out of schemes like this as it isnt worth it.

A) it's not a public loo it's a private one
B) they DO allow the public to use it for a charge, that's what a customer is. You can buy crisps or something in costa for a quid or less, significantly cheaper than the amounts people were charging for those attending the NH Carnival to use their home loos!

The poster suggesting toilet facilities are a "medical need"- so (moreso) is food and drink - should Costa also give their produce away for free too?

Agree with all the posters that have said blaming businesses is just a way for councils to avoid their responsibility.
It's fair enough for op to have asked and would be nice if businesses agreed to let anyone use their loos but they don't have to (morally or legally).

Medical Access Card to Request Urgent Access to Toilet. (1) https://amzn.eu/d/03hWOLF

get yourself one of these.

This confuses me, as the Costa I frequent allows anyone to use their loos. I am not sure how these decisions are made though. Some are franchises, aren't they?

This confuses me, as the Costa I frequent allows anyone to use their loos. I am not sure how these decisions are made though. Some are franchises, aren't they?

Obviously it depends on various factors, and the personal ethos of the manager; but it probably makes a big difference where the outlet is located. If it's in a busy area such as a central bus station with a very high footfall of people rushing to and fro, they're probably a lot more likely to object than if it's on the edge of a small town with a trickle of passers-by every couple of hours.

Yabu- pregnant or not you are not costas responsibility. Surely you could have just bought snottiest of water or a packet of crisps?

Bottle of haha autocorrect fail

YANBU OP. She sounds like an absolute asshole, as do the posters defending her.

Hmm forcing shops to take on all the costs of providing the services that the council is paid to provide. That's exactly what the last few remaining businesses in our ghost town high streets should be doing...

I’m going to go against the grain here and say yanbu, I think pregnant women need more consideration. I think women in general need more consideration. There’s no reason for that woman to be rude like that. It’s childish too. Nothing you can do to change it though, seems like it’s the way things are going nowadays.

I’m going to go against the grain here and say yanbu, I think pregnant women need more consideration. I think women in general need more consideration.

Everybody needs more consideration. Whether female or male, pregnant or not, medical conditions or none, we all need to use the toilet regularly and all of us have known what it's like to dance the desperate-for-a-wee hornpipe.

The only question is to whom should be expected to ensure all of this consideration to people's needs? You, me, Kriss Akabusi, small business owners, private householders... or the local councils whom we pay specifically to ensure provision of essential public utilities?