DH won’t let me go out during ‘work hours’

[rippedjeansniceshoes]

Hi name changed as I don’t know what to make of this.
DH owns his own company and works from our home office. I am a stay at home mum with 3 young DC.
Having 3 children under 5 means I am hands-on and very busy with the children day-day.
My husband works a few hours a day, Mon-Fri. He is very lucky as his business takes care of itself at this point. He makes a few phone calls, sends a few emails and he’s done. Once sometimes twice a week he will spend the whole day doing a hobby that he loves. He does this mainly with his business partner (very good friend) and with business associates. After the hobby they chat and have a few drinks. He said this is classed as his work as it is during the Mon-Fri work hours.

A friend of mine (also with 3 young DC) asked me if I was free for lunch this Thursday afternoon as her siblings were looking after her DC and she had some child-free time! Knowing that my DH is very quiet work-wise of an afternoon (and had no golf planned) I said yes! I was so excited to get out without DC and honestly didn’t think it would be an issue for DH to look after them for 2 hours of an afternoon.

Just by me asking it has created WW3 😥 I’ve cancelled the child-free plans with my friend and I am just so upset.

DH said no as it is during his work hours. I don’t understand. I explained to him that after a long summer at home with the kids I really needed a couple of hours with my friend! His response is that I need to get it though my ‘thick skull’ that Mon-Fri are his work hours and he can’t look after the kids during that time. I explained he has lots of child-free time during the week for golf and I have none. He said golf doesn’t count as it is ‘work’ for him.

Every time I ask for child-free time this happens. Although I did go to the cinema with some mum-friends in June without the kids and he was ok (eventually) with that (DC asleep, evening showing) I drove.

Is it me? Am I wrong here?

@rippedjeansniceshoes there is a solicitor on Facebook that has free open sessions. I don't know if you can go anonymous or not but you could make up a fake profile to keep yourself safe and get the advice you need

Solicitor

Anyone using 'thick skull' at me, will result in 'fractured skull' on him. He sounds controlling and selfish.

This is the best comment I've read today 😆

No you need a break

Is he a drug boss if secretive and only works a few hours a day.Maybe he is having an affair when he says he is playing golf .

You posted this months ago, didn't you?

He's an abusive fuckwit.

Of course you deserve time alone.

He acts like he doesn't like you, let sone love you.
You deserve better 💐

What was the outcome op ?

You have every right to expect him to look after his children whilst you go out with your friend for some much deserved 'me' time. Completely selfish and unreasonable for him to say what he said. Golf being 'work', what planet is he on? He sounds very selfish to me. You need to address this or you will end up feeling resentful which will only get worse

There does seem to be issues and he is unreasonable in lots of ways but I don’t particularly think him saying he can’t look after the children during working hours so that op can see a friends for drinks is one of them; he needs to work.
if he runs his own business then golf could very well be work if he is talking business/making deals etc whilst playing.
he does however need to facilitate her going out and seeing friends outside of working hours.

I really hate when people on here shout ‘LTB’ so flippantly and with no context. But honestly, there’s no context needed here. Leave him.