After school won’t let my teenage daughter pick up my son in an emergency

[Fuknstuck]

I’m sick, running a fever, I’m dizzy and fluid is streaming out both ends. I am also disabled so this has a knock on effect on my mobility. It just came on 2 hours ago, there’s no way I can leave the toilet let alone drive one street safely.

I called after school care to request my 14 almost 15 year old daughter to pick up my 6 year old son and bring him home, one street away and they’re refusing because she’s a minor. I explained there is nobody able to help me - neighbours all at work, only one who isn’t is 93 and dying of cancer, my parents live 300 miles away and my partner is working in intensive care and can’t just up and leave. I dont have friends who use the after care.

They are refusing to allow my daughter to pick him up. They know her, they know she’s mature and responsible but won’t let her bring him the one street from school to our home. I’ve asked what I’m supposed to do. It’s the first time I’ve ever asked them to do this and they know it’s an emergency and they’re refusing. I’ve asked how we resolve this as they can’t keep him overnight and I literally cannot get to the school.

AIBU to expect in an emergency situation where the parent trusts the teenage child and accepts all liability, that they should allow her to pick him up?

It doesn’t work like that, it’s a legally binding policy that’s dictated to the school to protect the children. It does sound ridiculous but they can’t make exceptions.

OP do you have the contact details of any of the other parents could drop him home?

Alt call and advise there is NO ONE, you've tried,if they won't let him go to DD and cannot arrange to bring him home, what is their policy pls on children who aren't collected? Email it of possible so you have a reply.

TBH, I'd ask one of the friends who doesn't use the club to go back and collect for this one off favour. I'd be happy to do that.

I also don't think DH should "ask" his boss. This is emergency childcare, which he's entitled to by law.

However, the school are being ridiculous and you could call their bluff and tell them no one will be coming, they'll have to implement their policy.

Our after school club has the age 16 for collection rule too, even though they can walk home from school unsupervised at any age.

Can you drive and stay in the car and your dd runs in to collect him?

Is there a class WhatsApp group where you could just ask a parent to get him out the door and your dd gets him there?

Any staff still in school who would help your dd get him out?

One of your daughter's friends' parents?
Or even a friend's older sibling?

Can they actually do that though? If the safeguarding rules are set by the LA I'd have thought SS wouldn't be able to criticise them for it.

Tbh in this situation a teacher could walk your son round to the house with his sister
They have to follow their procedures re the age but should try and help you out

How is it a legally binding policy when lots schools/nurseries do allow siblings to collect?

What happens if the parent is underage themselves? Are they not allowed to collect their own child?

Your partner doesn't need to ask his boss to leave - he needs to tell his boss he is leaving

The safeguarding policy is set by the school/club not the LA.

@Drummend01 It's not "legally binding", nor is there any such law dictated to schools. It might be their own policy, but they should be applying common sense in this situation. As pp have said, the way this will play out is they'll end up contacting social services who will tell them to let the child go with the daughter. There's no chance an out of hours social worker is going to be sent to intervene in this.

One of your teenage DD's friend's parent? That would get round it.

There isn’t a legally binding LA rule on this, that’s not true.

our school allows teenage siblings to collect children.

if it were me I would let them call social services tbh. It’s ridiculous. Social services will also think it’s ridiculous.

It doesn’t work like that, it’s a legally binding policy that’s dictated to the school to protect the children. It does sound ridiculous but they can’t make exceptions.

Which law applies here then?

Op call their bluff and say they release him or they'll have to call ss as you have no one else to help. I suspect they'll let your daughter collect him.

I had a friend whose 13 yo would collect a younger sibling from primary and they would get a train home together. I assume she gave the school short shrift when they tried to say they wouldn't allow it and they probably found they didn't have a leg to stand on.

I’m all for parents sharing the load with emergency childcare but OP’s partner works in intensive care. I’d be unimpressed if this after-school club’s failure to apply common sense by allowing a nearly-15yo to escort their brother to the next street meant my or my loved-one’s health was compromised.

Yanbu

The problem is, that this is not school, but after school care, which is usually separately run.
It might be their policy not to hand over children into the care of a minor, but it is not legally binding. The workers there are are usually very low paid and won't get back up from management if they don't follow policy . You'd need them to contact a supervisor who could take a view , and they may need to phone them as they probable won't be on site.
The best you can do is email/text explaining everything and ask them to push it upwards until they get someone who is authorised to make the decision. Make it clear you are out of options, so if they won't allow DD to collect it will have to go through the formal processes.
It's a horrible position to be in.
For future planning, get yourself in on the class WhatsApp so that there are people who can support each other in emergency.

Considering he's working in Intensive Care, it's not really as easy as that. Whilst the OOS club may be pissed off about nobody turning up until 6.30pm, for example, an ICU nurse or doctor's absence has some considerable implications for patients.

I'd send your DD and ask her to ask a parent collecting at the same time, would they be willing to be authorised over the phone to collect your son? Then that parent can hand your DS over to your DD outside the school.

I work in a secondary school and pupils collect siblings from the nearby primary school. In these circumstances I would bring the child to u, provided management allowed it. In the old days my teacher used to see me st bus stop snd give me a lift. There needs to be things in place but sometimes madness prevails instead of common sense

This!

Also feel it is unlikely, if not wholly implausible, there are many under-18s collecting their own children from after-school club

Agree it’s a silly rule but LA may have set etc and agrees with NSPCC guidance etc re siblings babysitting.

Do you not have a class/year group WhatsApp? If you are a street away from school I’d walk any kid home tbh even if mine wasn’t in after school club that day.

There's no law that says under-16s can't collect a sibling from school. It's down to the school to decide, and given that this is an emergency and has been authorised by the parent, the school is being ridiculous to say no.

That's nuts! My 8yo has been picked up by a 14yo family friend before so it's not a legal thing. If they are choosing not to release your child can someone who works there drop them off to you on their way home? Appreciate it wouldn't normally be a reasonable request, but if they're refusing to release your child!

Do you have a class WhatsApp group? Maybe one of the other parents could officially sign them out and then handover to your daughter?