If you found a torn up piece of paper with writing on in your DC bin, would you tape it back together to read it?

[AnxiousAnniee]

In this scenario what would you do:

DD is 10 years old, has their own room. Upon cleaning the room you go to empty the bin and find lots of tiny pieces of paper. It looks like an A4 piece of paper has been written on and then torn up. Obviously not wanting anyone to ready it.

Would you tape the paper back together out of concern to read it? Or would you respect that your child obviously doesn't want you reading it so leave it?

Just for context here, it's not my DC, but a family members. They taped the paper back together but I'm not sure if I agree they should've done that. Just wondered if they were being unreasonable or if most parents would do this?

i wouldn't even think to look, never mind tape it back together.

No I bloody wouldn't.

Thats weird.

Of course I fucking wouldn't.

No I wouldn't do that. It wouldn't cross my mind.

I wouldn’t even think to do that. Would presume it was rubbish as it was in the bin and just empty it. Bizarre.

No. Haven't got time to faff around with something like that!

No. Who would even do that?!

No i would not except for one reason, and that's if my child was displaying self harm then I would look to see if it said anything about why. But that would be the only reason.

Depends on the context I guess.

Just being nosy - no.

Major concerns about the wellbeing/safety of your child - maybe/yes

Hard to say without context.

Don't understand where concern comes into it. Surely that's plain nosiness? Unless in conjunction with a known issue? Bullying concerns perhaps? But still should be considered carefully. That kid is entitled to privacy.

Only if I had any other reason to be worried

general nosiness - no

Also this. Who has the time?!

I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't have put it past my mum though.

This is the kind of thing my Mum did that made my life a misery as a child and totally destroyed my trust in her.

Yes I agree with everyone. It didn't sit right with me at all and I feel very sorry for her

Only if I noticed any problematic words written when I was about to empty it - anything referencing self harm, suicidal ideation, anorexia etc.

In the normal scheme of things, heck no!

Only if I had reason to be worried about the child already. If not, I would let them have their privacy.

In theory no I wouldn't but if I had other concerns about my child I possibly would, for example if I was concerned about their mental health.

Nope, I would have just emptied the bin. Don't most people just empty bins without really looking at the contents.

Leave it alone.

No, not unless I could see some concerning words, eg a safeguarding issue

I found something similar in my DSD 's bin and did stuck it together. She was being bullied by a friend and this note revealed that. DH had a discreet word with his ex, it confirmed something she was more aware of - she supported her DD without ever mentioning the torn up note.

God, no!
This is like my mum reading my childhood diaries - respect your child's privacy and boundaries. If you don't, they won't trust you or tell you anything about their lives.

The exception I would make is if I suspected my child was self harming, or using drugs or something of that nature.

What you could do is gently talk to your child and put feelers out to see if they open up about anything and quietly keep an eye on them.

All things being normal I'd just assume my child had ripped up some homework they'd done wrong or notes that were no longer needed.

Me neither. Doesn't everyone write things, notes, maybe the beginning of a letter, etc, a draft, then discard? My bin is full of all sorts, nothing very interesting.

It's seriously weird to be so nosy.

I wouldn’t UNLESS I knew my 10 year old was going through a tough time, I had concerns about well-being etc.