MIL and brunch…

[Nikee20]

We were at in-laws today for a brunch thing. We stayed in a hotel and live 3 hours away and we were eating at theirs before we drove home.

MIL said she’d do sausage buns so we had a very light breakfast so we didn’t fill up.

Arrived at theirs and there were 8 sausages for 4 adults and 1 child.

She split them 1 sausage each in a hot dog bun for each adult, 2 sausages for her son (my DH). Then DC was given another sausage.

Son was then offered the spare one.

So I was fed less than my 8 year old DS.

So my question is - is this perfectly reasonable or is she crazy?

YABU - this is fine
YANBU - she is crazy.

Elite call back 🙌

This!

She had a box of 20 nuggets that were intended to be shared, and stopped the other kids getting their 4 allocated nuggets until after she had finished?

Seems odd. She wouldn't genuinely eat 20 nuggets? Or even 16???

Surely it would be sensible for her to take her 4/5/6/7/8 nuggets (or whatever she wanted) and at the same time let them take their 2 each and then any left overs were shared as wanted?

It isn't an American term...

Calm down.

Maybe the other kids got fries and drinks with their burgers and the niece didn’t.

The 20 nugget box doesn’t come as a meal.

If yes, seems fair that niece eats her fill first.

I’m in the US and if you are invited to brunch at someone’s house it’s usually a big buffet with all sort of choice from
fresh fruit salads, pastries, some form of eggs - quiche, or scrambled, some form of meat - either bacon or fancy ham like Parma ham with melon, cheesy grits (if you are down south) and either or both options of Bloody Mary’s or Mimosas.

It’s supposed to replace two meals - and you rarely need a big dinner after a brunch day.

But they bought the 20 box BECAUSE the other kids were going to have some.

And really? You'd expect a kid to have 20 nuggets??

None were 'allocated'.

She ordered nuggets as her main, the others could have one or two but as she said, she didnt know how many she was going to eat. She asked them to wait til she'd finished.

The 7 year old boy had a chicken sandwich meal and the 5 year old girl had a happy meal. They weren't sitting starving while she ate nuggets.

She's perfectly entitled to eat her fill before others dive in and eat her main on top of their mains, before she's finished. Which she pointed out.

When there are many, many threads like this one where women don't stand up for themselves and ask for their share, it was refreshing to see.

So what if she wanted to eat 20 nuggets as a one off?

Are you trying to food shame her? 🤔

I doubt she’d eat them all, but it sounds like the box is primarily for her and she may not have gotten chips.

Better to eat nuggets whilst they’re hot so I’d share but I can see why she objected if other kids wanted to put their hands in her nuggets.

It's bullshit to suggest that people with smaller appetites don't know how to cater for others. I have a bad stomach issue and a properly rubbish appetite (this morning I had a half portion of eggs Benedict and couldn't manage more and then didn't eat again till we went out for dinner , when I had a starter as a main and a not at all massive side salad) and I always make sure there is plenty of food for others because I know damn well people have differing appetites. If I forget my meds I can easily have zero appetite, doesn't mean I conveniently forget that others do.

It is about control and about shaming others. My MIL does this. Even though I eat less than her she often comments on how large my portions are. She will regularly say my starter is enough for a main meal, even if it's miniscule. I think the scales fell from my eyes the time she tried to convince me that I shouldn't have ordered a second starter as my main because my first starter of three scallops was huge enough for a full meal. She ignores that if I have a main after a starter, then I normally have to have a doggy bag. If I have no starter but the temerity to finish a main course she makes an enormous fuss about how I must have been starving. The ironic thing is, she's a lady who lunches and has regularly been out for a multi course meal prior to dinner while I work a very active job and often skip lunch.

It's because she's slim and I'm fat and she feels morally superior and more ladylike so in a position to judge. She regularly congratulates my skinny husband on finishing his huge portions.

I made the mistake of snapping back recently and telling her I had been for a run before work, then been on my feet for over eight hours and only had a 350 calorie breakfast and nothing else so yes, I was hungry enough to eat a main course (though I hadn't actually even eaten the full carbohydrate portion) whilst she was droning on about my enormous appetite . So now she does it to my son's girlfriend instead who is recovering from an eating disorder. I do wish I'd kept my mouth shut.

She's usually lovely but she's so tone deaf on this issue. I regularly try to hide what I'm eating from DIL because I don't want her to think that my little meals or lack of appetite are an indication of how women should eat. I'm ill, not virtuous.

Food shaming and penis portions are not a good look. So glad you had your snack bag OP.

She wouldn't eat 20, she probably ate 5 or 6 at most. She's arfid while the other two will eat anything, if that makes a difference.

But my point was about politely asserting herself fairly.

But the 20 box was bought because it was so the others could have some.

They weren't all "hers" and the others weren't trying to eat her lunch

It's not like she ordered herself a 9 piece and they then eyed them up after ordering and we're taking her meal.

The others could have leftovers. They weren't leftover until she'd finished eating.

But she wasn't " asserting herself fairly".

She was denying them their allocated nuggets until she had decided she would allow it.

If you'd ordered her a smaller portion intended only for her as her meal, and the others were trying to take them, then understable

Or even if they'd taken their 2 each and she was still be eating and they wanted more, then fine, assert herself.

But the way it was written the 20 nuggets were bought to include the 4 for the siblings, not as 20 all being her own personal meal and she would then share any leftovers if there were any...

It wasn't written that way. The box of 20 were purchased because the 2 kids were having 2 each.

Otherwise why would you order 20 nuggets for a9 year old? No-one surely expects them to eat that many?

Well why was it written as though it was bought with the intention the other kids were having 2 each?

It was confusing.

In case it needs explaining further, a 20 box was ordered on the expectation that there would be leftovers.

The others had their main and any leftover nuggets were extras for them.

Neice hadn't finished eating when nephew asked for some. She said can they both wait until she's finished before eating her main while eating theirs and wanting some of hers.

As stated above, leftover nuggets aren't leftovers until the person whose main they are, has finished.

She was perfectly reasonable imo.

They weren't having two each though. They each had their own mains and could have one or two nuggets on the side after 9yo finished with them and then they'd all pick at them later.

I kind of got the impression from ShrinkingSusan’s post that the nuggets were primarily for her niece.

But I think I read it that way because I’m from a big family and a box of nuggets would have been such a once in a blue moon treat that I would have wanted them all to myself

Because the number of nuggets eaten and by whom doesn't matter and wasn't the point.

The point was about asserting herself over her food.

I fucking love mcnuggets and I don't share them. On the rare occasion I have them, I eat the whole 20, with at least 3 pots of sweet curry sauce. And fries.

And I really don't care that its 20 nuggets 😱, not a ladylike 4.

No. They had burgers. They got whatever was left. My dd7 would probably give 20 nuggets from McDonald's a good try. Especially if her brother and sister were getting what was left.

OP yanbu, I too would have wanted to cry if I’d given up a hotel breakfast for a measly 1sausage bap.
@Bellyblueboy I think you should do a recipe book your brunch sounds awesome 😋
one question & I really don’t want to Google this!!🤣Are “penis portions” a thing? & if so what sort?
I was thinking typo but then saw it repeated, thank you to anyone who will educate me

Brunch is instead of breakfast AND lunch so at least a meal.

I'd imagine a Penis Portion is a larger portion that's offered to Penis Holders ie men.
It tends to be something old women do. My mum would do this especially at Xmas. Shed offer those last few potatoes, or extra Yorkshire pudding to the men. Even a last slice of takeaway pizza would be placed on a man's plate.
These could be old overweight men who had sedentary jobs, not young fit manual workers.