Threat to take kids home from holiday

[Anothernamethesamegame]

Second night in to a holiday and the kids (7/9 yr old) behaviour has been fairly difficult. Not absolutely horrendous but difficult. It’s never that easy. They are both quite hyperactive kids, both clash a lot.

husband, who always struggles managing bed time, has struggled with their bed time tonight. They are in the same room, which is always difficult.

He just threatened them with taking them home tomorrow. Came down and said he plans to actually drive them back some way in the car. I’ve no idea what he hopes to achieve, other than hyping the situation up and making it an awful day for us all. I said “ well what if they continue being poorly behaved” and he said then he’d just drive them all the way home and stay home.

How the hell do I deal with this. Obviously it is massively over the top and he is making the situation 100 times more tense in my opinion. How do I approach this without seemingly like I am undermining him….which he feels I always do?

Just had time to read through the whole thread and saw the ADHD (possible) diagnosis. DD has ADHD and I would further suggest a visual reward chart. Punishments for kids with ADHD don't really work. Consistent boundaries, routine and discipline do. Shouting and threats don't. Try the chart. DD responded very well to that.

Honestly, I had two parents that sound like your DH. I hated holidays, things were always tense, I never knew where the boundaries were because everything was an overreaction. My sister and I would be having a great time playing about and they’d shout up the stairs and we would be scared stiff, and silent. To put into context, I’ve had to have extensive PTSD counselling because of them - I’m not saying this to scare you, but to absolutely support that you are right to feel upset by his behaviour and totally in the right here to be seeking advice. I’m so sorry responses on here have been so negative towards you.

You deserve better and your husband needs to learn to understand his triggers and why he acts like that.
Realistically he will be re-in acting how his parents treated him, which is why bedtimes are so uncomfortable for him to handle. If he wasn’t treated with love and kindness when he acting like a child (which is allowed, because he was a child), then he won’t have learnt how to deal with that behaviour effectively.

highly recommend ‘the book you wish your parents had read (and your children will thank you for)’ - literally changed my entire outlook on why I behave in the ways I do and why I get triggered by some behaviours but not others.

I hope you’re all ok now xx