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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take steak for myself to bbq ?

297 replies

Melmi256 · 26/08/2023 19:43

Invited to a bbq … I’m not really a burger hot dog kinda person at all.
Everyone is bringing something, I only really would eat steak from a bbq , can I bring a steak for myself like a veggie would take a veggie burger ? I can’t afford to take steaks for everyone but will bring something else like sides potsto/pasta ?

OP posts:
Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 10:16

longestlurkerever · 27/08/2023 10:11

Fucking hell. This is the most nonsense post I have read in a while.

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So you're another one that, just couldn't be bothered, when hosting I take it, and feel defensive.

DrMarshaFieldstone · 27/08/2023 10:24

Yikes. We serve Pepsi. I hope our guests don’t talk about us after they leave for not having Coca-Cola.

longestlurkerever · 27/08/2023 10:28

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 10:16

So you're another one that, just couldn't be bothered, when hosting I take it, and feel defensive.

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It's never occurred to me either way. Have probably hosted most barbecues without coke at all but could have done.Think what you like of my hosting skills and if you want to being something particular to drink I'd not think anything of it either way. But the idea a host who doesn't share your preference for branded cola is somehow lacking, is batshit.

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 10:34

longestlurkerever · 27/08/2023 10:28

It's never occurred to me either way. Have probably hosted most barbecues without coke at all but could have done.Think what you like of my hosting skills and if you want to being something particular to drink I'd not think anything of it either way. But the idea a host who doesn't share your preference for branded cola is somehow lacking, is batshit.

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You're not getting it. A host doesn't need to share a guest's preference, but they should make an effort if they know their guest likes it. Surely to god that's common sense?

longestlurkerever · 27/08/2023 10:38

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 10:34

You're not getting it. A host doesn't need to share a guest's preference, but they should make an effort if they know their guest likes it. Surely to god that's common sense?

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If I knew my guests had some particular preference for coke I might do. Can't recall anyone ever mentioning it tbh. Too busy scoffing the steak, and I've certainly never thought anything negative about anything a host has served me. I am not a fan of instant coffee but if that's what people serve that's what I drink at their house, or I have tea. I don't start ranting about how they shouldn't even bother inviting people round, even in my head. That's a crazy way to think.

HoppingPavlova · 27/08/2023 11:04

it’s a big event I cannot bring 20 steaks
i think I’ll bring maybe 3 and a pasta dish and hope I get for steak 🥩 if not I’ll just eat a side dish

That’s a big no. BBQ is my National Dish, and I can’t stress how odd and unappreciated that would be🤨. If 20 attendee’s, take 10 to be halved, or none. Again, just eat a roll and salads and cook yourself a steak when you get home, if you must. How hard can this be? Why cause such a fuss?

HoppingPavlova · 27/08/2023 11:11

Bring it already cooked then slide on to a plate with salad when no one is looking? If you want freshly cooked could bring disposable bbq and set yourself up somewhere quiet

🤣🤣🤣 Sure, no one will notice. Everyone will. Or, a few will, and by the end of the night everyone will know. And in what world would rocking up and cooking on your own disposable bbq not be weird? I can’t imagine it.

I am in Oz so we bbq all the time and also go to many bbqs. Anyone doing this wouldn't be invited back, it's just rude! I can just imagine people's faces if someone turned up with a solitary steak

Yep, absolutely, but I think we have the advantage of being trained in BBQ etiquette from the time we are in the womb 😁. Also, the look on people’s faces will be the same for three steaks as for one if at a BBQ for 20.

hdbs17 · 27/08/2023 11:14

If I was hosting and someone brought meat for just them - I wouldn't invite them round again, it's just rude.

It's all well and good someone with dietary needs bringing something for themselves but to bring something just because you don't like burgers and hotdogs is rather snobby.

How do you know they're only serving burgers and hotdogs?

Floppe · 27/08/2023 11:24

HoppingPavlova · 27/08/2023 11:11

Bring it already cooked then slide on to a plate with salad when no one is looking? If you want freshly cooked could bring disposable bbq and set yourself up somewhere quiet

🤣🤣🤣 Sure, no one will notice. Everyone will. Or, a few will, and by the end of the night everyone will know. And in what world would rocking up and cooking on your own disposable bbq not be weird? I can’t imagine it.

I am in Oz so we bbq all the time and also go to many bbqs. Anyone doing this wouldn't be invited back, it's just rude! I can just imagine people's faces if someone turned up with a solitary steak

Yep, absolutely, but I think we have the advantage of being trained in BBQ etiquette from the time we are in the womb 😁. Also, the look on people’s faces will be the same for three steaks as for one if at a BBQ for 20.

You laugh but I don’t think we’ve been told how big the garden is - in a big enough area the OP might be ok. Perhaps the money these hosts are saving on serving up sausages at their bbqs has paid for some serious land.

HoppingPavlova · 27/08/2023 11:28

Yeah. Nah. It could be several acres and EVERYONE will know if you are doing a dodgy rodgy bbq on the side.

zingally · 27/08/2023 11:48

No! That's really rude. Either take enough for everyone, or suck it up and make do with sides.

Daphnis156 · 27/08/2023 11:53

Do you take your own steak to a restaurant?

If you do to this BBQ you'll be talked about for years- and it won't be complimentary.

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:31

@DrMarshaFieldstone i don’t like it cremated I like it rare ? Fillet is way better than sirloin but yes I could take some sirloin steaks I don’t understand the comment of wanting to look fancy but not knowing what tastes best !
I actually love New York strip loin for taste but don’t like the fat

OP posts:
Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:33

@Daphnis156 No cause it would serve food I eat !?

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 27/08/2023 12:36

I think the easiest thing here is to just have a cheese salad roll minus the burger at the bbq and have a proper meal later. You're determined to ignore all other suggestions where you get something you like but don't just bring your own single steak

Grapewrath · 27/08/2023 12:37

No you can’t.
it would be unbelievably rude. Just have a steak before or after and eat some sides if you are the opposed to burgers.

DrMarshaFieldstone · 27/08/2023 12:41

Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:31

@DrMarshaFieldstone i don’t like it cremated I like it rare ? Fillet is way better than sirloin but yes I could take some sirloin steaks I don’t understand the comment of wanting to look fancy but not knowing what tastes best !
I actually love New York strip loin for taste but don’t like the fat

Did you actually think that you could take a single fillet steak to a barbecue, hand it to the cook, insist they cook it perfectly rare and then serve it to you? Really?

And yes, like chicken breast, fillet steak is for people who don’t want their meat to taste of meat. The flavour is in the fat and that is why you like why you like New York strip loin, which is the American equivalent of…..sirloin.

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:42

@fortheloveofflowers exactly this ! They’ve said they’re doing bbq sausages and hotdogs, bring a bottle and side dish which I’m happy to do ! Someone else said they’ll bring chicken souvlaki …. So I’m bringing a bottle a side and was going to bring a steak to throw on instead of a burger

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 27/08/2023 12:43

Fillet would be a waste of money for a BBQ. Doesn't bbq well at all. Spend less on a decent cut for bbq-ing and get more.

Why don't you get a BBQ joint instead of steaks?

liveforsummer · 27/08/2023 12:43

The other person meant chicken souvlaki to share though not just one skewer for themselves 😅.

ThanksItHasPockets · 27/08/2023 12:46

Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:31

@DrMarshaFieldstone i don’t like it cremated I like it rare ? Fillet is way better than sirloin but yes I could take some sirloin steaks I don’t understand the comment of wanting to look fancy but not knowing what tastes best !
I actually love New York strip loin for taste but don’t like the fat

You’ve completely contradicted yourself here! New York strip IS sirloin.

Fillet isn’t better than sirloin. People just think it is because it’s more expensive. If you took a fillet and a sirloin from the same animal and tasted them side-by-side the sirloin will always taste better.

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:48

@DrMarshaFieldstone in not handing it over and requesting a specific doneness ! I was just going to throw it on for couple of minutes myself as it’ll be super quick - it doesn’t have to be fillet I thought that would be an easy cut tho as not as fatty- and no strip loin is not an equivalent or sirloin you’re wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 12:51

@ThanksItHasPockets
well it’s obv a matter of taste and opinion I like fillet as it’s nice and tender and no fat , strip loin is I agree more flavourful but sometimes too fatty.
strip loin is NOT sirloin …. I live in North America ….

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 12:51

This thread is batshit! Fillet steak on a bbq?! Wtf? 😂

Op buy some rump or sirloin or just the flat steaks and make kebabs ffs! It's the most obvious solution and others have suggested it several times yet you never explain why this clearly isn't an option for you!!

BeeLievable · 27/08/2023 12:51

It is about money if you can't afford to take more than one just for you.

You either take some food to be shared or drink to be shared. You don't take a single portion for yourself, don't you have any manners at all?