Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take steak for myself to bbq ?

297 replies

Melmi256 · 26/08/2023 19:43

Invited to a bbq … I’m not really a burger hot dog kinda person at all.
Everyone is bringing something, I only really would eat steak from a bbq , can I bring a steak for myself like a veggie would take a veggie burger ? I can’t afford to take steaks for everyone but will bring something else like sides potsto/pasta ?

OP posts:
Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 08:20

DrMarshaFieldstone · 27/08/2023 08:13

This detail is breathlessly unreasonable. You want to take fillet steak, the cut for
people who want to look fancy but don’t actually know what tastes best, to be cremated by someone else on a barbecue? At least take sirloin.

Show quote history

Cremated? Wtf?

grass321 · 27/08/2023 08:23

Clearly not. I like chicken but I’m super paranoid if it’s cooked ok whereas steak can be undercooked!

Surely the answer is to cut into the chicken first and have a look. If it's still pink, either discreetly bin it or put it back on the BBQ. If it's thicker cuts of chicken, people often cook it in the oven rather than on the bbq anyway.

I've never been to a bbq where anyone has been forced to eat undercooked chicken or pork, usually it's incinerated to within an inch of its life...

fortheloveofflowers · 27/08/2023 08:24

If I was having a BBQ and you wanted to bring a steak it wouldn’t bother me at all. Why on earth would you get offended by someone bringing what they wanted to eat if they didn’t really eat burgers!

In fact when I do do a BBQ I say ‘I’m doing sausages and burgers so if you want anything else then please bring it’. I’m on a budget so can’t be buying steak or any fancy stuff, why on earth would I stop others from eating due to some ridiculous outdated etiquette.

Custardslices · 27/08/2023 08:25

I'd just not go to thr bbq if it causes this much hassle to make a MN thread about it.

Neverjudgeabookbyitscover · 27/08/2023 08:25

If I was the host I wouldn't mind at all.
I'd just want my guests to feel comfortable.
There are enough "grin and bear it" situations in life that we have to go through, and I wouldn't want a social event that I was hosting to feel like that.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 27/08/2023 08:25

I am in Oz so we bbq all the time and also go to many bbqs. Anyone doing this wouldn't be invited back, it's just rude! I can just imagine people's faces if someone turned up with a solitary steak! The way everyone does it here if you are asked to a bbq is to ask if you should bring a plate of food to share. Sometimes you do, often the host will provide everything. Unless you have specific dietary requirements (gluten-free for example) bringing a single portion is just the height of bad manners, as you are implying your host isn't catering adequately. If you want a steak that badly eat it at home. And you shouldn't bbq a fillet anyway.

MariaPurito · 27/08/2023 08:28

It wouldn't bother me OP. I have a friend who would do this. I just roll my eyes and get on with it.

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 08:33

You can’t bring a steak for yourself op.

You’ll look weird.

For one day just suck it up and eat a burger and have sides. It might not be your preference but you’ll survive.

You’re going for the social occasion, the food is secondary

hth @Melmi256

DrMarshaFieldstone · 27/08/2023 08:35

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 08:20

Cremated? Wtf?

Show quote history

Yes, burned to the point of becoming ashes. Figurative hyperbole to express that the person doing the cooking won’t be able to do a good job of cooking it.

GoldGorillaGums · 27/08/2023 08:36

Why do you need to bring meat at all? Just eat the sides as your meal?

Summerbay23 · 27/08/2023 08:38

headcheffer · 26/08/2023 19:49

Jesus wept, no you can't take an expensive cut of meat just for you it's rude. It would be like taking an expensive bottle of drink and not sharing it.

Agree with this

LIZS · 27/08/2023 08:38

Or just take a plate of thin steaks so others have the same option

Missingmyusername · 27/08/2023 08:39

@nameitagain ODFOD! have you thought about seeing a professional about those anger issues? You come across as unhinged.
No I’ve never heard of bbq steak (I’m so sorry lol) and if it’s such a huge thing then why are posters saying most BBQ’s serve chicken, burgers and sausages. Clearly it won’t be an issue if OP takes their own steak and maybe there’ll be no need since obviously be loads of steak there and barbecued already- WON’T THERE!

Lilithlogic · 27/08/2023 08:48

Mummyof287 · 26/08/2023 21:05

Definitely not, would be very rude unless you were going to buy enough for everyone! You aren't a vegetarian which is totally different.Suck it up and eat the other meat, or just don't go.

Reminds me of the time my very annoying BIL and partner (who we no longer see for good reason!) brought a packet of cathedral city cheddar and branded coca cola to ours because our own brand versions weren't to their taste....total snobs despite both coming from disadvantaged working class households.

I think it's actually snobby to suggest that people from disadvantaged backgrounds are somehow letting the side down for daring to have branded coca cola and (so funny) Cathedral City cheese

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/08/2023 08:52

Of course you could take 1 steak, or 2 or 3, but it would be rude, and everyone would think you’re a twat.

A better idea would be to take a larger amount of something you’d be happy to eat and/or accept that on this occasion you just might not be eating meat. You don’t have to eat meat all the time.

Floppe · 27/08/2023 08:56

Bring it already cooked then slide on to a plate with salad when no one is looking? If you want freshly cooked could bring disposable bbq and set yourself up somewhere quiet.

Might be easier to borrow the cash and walk in with 50 steaks, at least then there’s no risk of you looking a bit odd.

UntidyFairy · 27/08/2023 08:57

Then eat beforehand and show up to socialise

That's what I came to say. Eat your steak before you go and have a salad when you get there.

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 09:00

Lilithlogic · 27/08/2023 08:48

I think it's actually snobby to suggest that people from disadvantaged backgrounds are somehow letting the side down for daring to have branded coca cola and (so funny) Cathedral City cheese

Show quote history

@Lilithlogic

supermarket own brand cola is rank to be fair, so I don’t blame them 🤷‍♀️

MarshyMcMarshFace · 27/08/2023 09:09

You don’t eat chicken?
Take chicken skewers.

A decent burger is ground steak. OK, not rump or sirloin, but what’s wrong with a good quality burger if you eat beef? “I’m not really a burger hot dog kinda person at all” What exactly is this ‘kinda person’?

Angie147836 · 27/08/2023 09:11

I often take veggie food to a bbq but always do so as a contribution to the entire meal rather than a single burger just for me - ie I would take a packet of 4 veggie burgers in case anyone else wanted one and some veggie / halloumi kebabs which others could eat as a side.

ConcernedCatmother · 27/08/2023 09:21

For godsake OP, if you can eat a steak, you can eat a burger. Stop being such a big baby. Or don’t go to BBQ’s if you’re going to be weird

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 09:46

@Mummyof287 To me, having cheap brand cola is the height of bad manners if you invite someone over for a BBQ. It is literally, cheap. And makes it look like you aren't even trying. I would just think you are rude and couldn't be bothered.

It would be different if they popped over for a quick visit and that's all you had as that's what you drink. But if you are hosting, you are cheap and rude to buy cheap no-brand stuff. Why bother hosting then? I know a lot of people on welfare, coke is one thing they never buy no brand name.

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 09:49

Lilithlogic · 27/08/2023 08:48

I think it's actually snobby to suggest that people from disadvantaged backgrounds are somehow letting the side down for daring to have branded coca cola and (so funny) Cathedral City cheese

Show quote history

Yes, to me it reads as 'know your station'. You're poor, you're from a disadvantaged background, so should know your place, you don't deserve treats above no brands because you're from working class. Only the rich can justify buying brand names. It's really actually quite offensive when you think about it.

NewName122 · 27/08/2023 10:09

Of course you can't. How rude. Eat the steak before you go.

longestlurkerever · 27/08/2023 10:11

Sueveneers · 27/08/2023 09:46

@Mummyof287 To me, having cheap brand cola is the height of bad manners if you invite someone over for a BBQ. It is literally, cheap. And makes it look like you aren't even trying. I would just think you are rude and couldn't be bothered.

It would be different if they popped over for a quick visit and that's all you had as that's what you drink. But if you are hosting, you are cheap and rude to buy cheap no-brand stuff. Why bother hosting then? I know a lot of people on welfare, coke is one thing they never buy no brand name.

Fucking hell. This is the most nonsense post I have read in a while.