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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take steak for myself to bbq ?

297 replies

Melmi256 · 26/08/2023 19:43

Invited to a bbq … I’m not really a burger hot dog kinda person at all.
Everyone is bringing something, I only really would eat steak from a bbq , can I bring a steak for myself like a veggie would take a veggie burger ? I can’t afford to take steaks for everyone but will bring something else like sides potsto/pasta ?

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 27/08/2023 13:53

Sorry it is rude. I understand the not wanting to eat crap food but that is most barbeques.

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 14:19

@user1477391263 yes I hate processed food ! I’ve had a bad experience with undercooked chicken…. People saying just eat bread I mean come on go to a bbq and eat the bread lol I try not to have many carbs anyway !
im not being snooty I just like non processed Lean meat !
I said I can take more than one steak but everyone said 3 is worse !
im going to make steak kebabs :) possibly pre cook some chicken !
can’t believe how some people think if I’m taking some and sides to just pop something on for me is so bad …

OP posts:
SadAndMushyAndComplicated · 27/08/2023 14:27

I’ve read all of OP’s posts and enough of the rest to get the gist.

TBH OP the more you post the more it sounds like you have some wider issues around food. I think if you had mentioned this you might have had kinder responses.

eggsinonetamborine · 27/08/2023 14:41

I'm fussy too due to being emetophobic. Can't you just have a cheese sandwich or something? Looks better than taking steak for yourself haha

LIZS · 27/08/2023 14:45

If you are making a side anyway, can you not take one which will be satisfying in itself.

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/08/2023 14:47

No. For everyone or not at all. If you eat steak anyway, don’t suppose a burger will be so bad?

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 14:50

@SadAndMushyAndComplicated i think I probably do !
I need to make sure I eat something otherwise I’ll end up too tipsy on wine …. But I also won’t eat loads of pasta/potatos or anything to fill up, so people saying eat a cheese sandwich and lots of sides isn’t an option.

OP posts:
BeeLievable · 27/08/2023 14:54

OP why don't you eat your fillet steak before you go and then eat some salads there then you won't be tipsy and you'll have had some meat?

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 14:57

@eggsinonetamborine ugh a cheese sandwich at a bbq bit depressing option !

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 27/08/2023 15:01

Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 14:19

@user1477391263 yes I hate processed food ! I’ve had a bad experience with undercooked chicken…. People saying just eat bread I mean come on go to a bbq and eat the bread lol I try not to have many carbs anyway !
im not being snooty I just like non processed Lean meat !
I said I can take more than one steak but everyone said 3 is worse !
im going to make steak kebabs :) possibly pre cook some chicken !
can’t believe how some people think if I’m taking some and sides to just pop something on for me is so bad …

I'm not sure why you asked when you find the (unanimous) answer difficult to believe. You seem to have finally gone with the very simple solution of kebabs and pre cooked chicken though which is a good one suggested very early in the thread and could have saved a lot of responding and further comments 😅. It would have also been helpful if you'd mentioned initially that as well as burgers and sausages, you also don't eat pasta, potatoes and bread ...

BeeLievable · 27/08/2023 15:01

Could you have some halloumi and grilled vegetables? That's not depressing.

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 15:06

@liveforsummer I’m in North America so it’s still morning for me, I’ve only just trawled through all the response and seen the kebab idea.
I do eat pasta, potato’s and bread but not loads of it. I’m not going to go to a bbq and have a plateful of carbs , I wanted to have some meat but not processed crap.

OP posts:
HandsUpHigh · 27/08/2023 15:07

OP is having a bit more of a meaty breakfast that day an option - maybe steak and eggs at home to satisfy you before you go tot the BBQ, then maybe you would be ok with some sides there until you got home?

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 15:08

@BeeLievable I could! actually I do like halloumi and that with veggie kebabs sounds like a good idea too :) I’ve not had it for a long time and had forgotten about it

OP posts:
grass321 · 27/08/2023 15:16

I do eat pasta, potato’s and bread but not loads of it. I’m not going to go to a bbq and have a plateful of carbs , I wanted to have some meat but not processed crap.

This is where we differ as I'd be grateful that someone's cooked me a plateful of food. Provided it covers any allergies, I think that's good enough for a larger group BBQ.

It's only one meal.

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/08/2023 15:24

I don’t like overly processed meat either and am very particular about burgers and sausages. I wouldn’t dream of bringing a small quantity of better quality meat with me, it’s beyond rude. If you want to contribute some good meat, it needs to be a substantial and meaningful quantity relative to the event. If you can’t afford to do that (or don’t want to pay that much), then don’t do it all. Bring a meaningful quantity of something that you will eat and you can afford to share.

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 16:06

grass321 · 27/08/2023 15:16

I do eat pasta, potato’s and bread but not loads of it. I’m not going to go to a bbq and have a plateful of carbs , I wanted to have some meat but not processed crap.

This is where we differ as I'd be grateful that someone's cooked me a plateful of food. Provided it covers any allergies, I think that's good enough for a larger group BBQ.

It's only one meal.

Some people are obsessed with meat though
they have to have it daily, a meal isn’t a meal without meat etc

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 27/08/2023 16:12

Yes, I find that quite odd, I like meat, and fish, but at a barbecue I'm more interested in the halloumi!

Inertia · 27/08/2023 16:16

@Melmi256 You were the one that said a veggie taking a veggie burger would be the same as taking one steak. I'm just pointing that veggies never would take just one burger. I appreciate that the costs are very different , which is why you need to think outside the box a little bit.

It sounds as though a barbecue might not be your thing. You seem to be struggling to understand the concept of shared food- the barbecue host is not like a restaurant cook, who will cook your steak on demand to your liking. You don't actually like any of the food routinely served at barbecues-burgers/ sausages/ chicken/ bread/ potatoes/ pasta.

People have suggested lots of alternatives which you now seem to be considering. If you eat a steak for brunch before you go then you might find that you're not as bothered about eating more meat. Making veg/ halloumi/ mixed kebabs to take along seems like a good solution. Pre-cooked chicken would also work if you buy it pre-cooked and keep it refrigerated- if you pre-cook it yourself you need to make sure you follow food hygiene rules in between.

Janieforever · 27/08/2023 16:46

Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 13:28

@Janieforever i think that will look rude turning up and not eating any of the bbq food surely !

I didn’t suggest that, I said eat the sides, and it was a short paragraph, so said very clearly, so salad, slaw, cheese, buns, pasta salad etc. then sit at home and eat your steak.

do you know these people, if you do they’d surely know you’ve issues with this type of food?

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 16:58

@Janieforever i do know them yes ! It’s the same circle of friends we have bbq before (where they had uncooked chicken, not these hosts but same group) so it’s completely put me off ! Otherwise I wouldn’t be so picky …. And normally at bbq there is more variety than burgers and sausage, everyone brings something along but this is first time after the raw chicken incident so I just didn’t want to face that.
I wanted to bring steak as a safer option which clearly as everyone had said is not an option unless I cater for all. I bet it would be acceptable if I was taking one giant Portebello mushroom for just me

OP posts:
Janieforever · 27/08/2023 17:18

Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 16:58

@Janieforever i do know them yes ! It’s the same circle of friends we have bbq before (where they had uncooked chicken, not these hosts but same group) so it’s completely put me off ! Otherwise I wouldn’t be so picky …. And normally at bbq there is more variety than burgers and sausage, everyone brings something along but this is first time after the raw chicken incident so I just didn’t want to face that.
I wanted to bring steak as a safer option which clearly as everyone had said is not an option unless I cater for all. I bet it would be acceptable if I was taking one giant Portebello mushroom for just me

Well not really no, that’s also weird.

Howdoesitworkagain · 27/08/2023 17:19

No, it wouldn’t be ok to take one giant portobello mushroom for just you, or one corn cob for just you, or one bit of halloumi for just you. What is it that’s difficult to understand about bringing a food contribution to a BBQ? 😂

Original poster
Melmi256 · 27/08/2023 17:19

@LuckySantangelo35 agree I hate unbranded cola it’s gross !! Most stuff I don’t mind unbranded but beans , ketchup, Mayo and cola have to be branded !

OP posts:
HowlingPig · 27/08/2023 17:20

@Melmi256 for what it’s worth I think it totally depends on how close you are to the hosts and what you are generally like.

My sister is incredibly fussy about food/timings of meals and always brings all her own food when she visits and eats when she wants. I have another close friend who has some allergies/plus vegetarian and he always brings all his own food and cooks for himself when he is here. My mums best friend is the same… Doesn’t bother me in the slightest… but I know they aren’t trying to be rude, just trying to be comfortable.

If they are good friends who know you aren’t just being tight I don’t see the issue with it.