Was this text ok to my mum?

[user86654110]

My mother said I treat her like a slave and asked her not to treat her like a maid all the time after this text to her.

I asked her to clarify and she said my text message to her was rude and I didn't say please.

For context I'm mid-30s with 2 young kids (she was picking me and the kids up which was pre-agreed).

I thought I was being quite calm having to wait 40mins with the children but maybe IABU after all and am a rude and terrible daughter.

Need honesty here please! I'm an only child so can't ask any siblings for reference.

Yes... I clarified in my next post that I was referring to the second to last text! I need to get used to the enew edit button. This message: "Park and message when you arrive" etc.

There is an OP, right?

@user86654110 Total over-reaction from your mum. Is she having a bit of a rough time in her life at the moment? Is she stressed, or down? Nothing wrong with your text(s) or your attitude at all - don't worry.

Depends how you normally communicate with each other. That would be standard for me and couple of relatives but I wouldn't do that with others and would add fluffy nice bits.

Well if she's made her mum upset with being taken for granted, there is a little bit of worry - best to say sorry

I get what you were saying, but it does come across as though you are instructing her and that was quite rude.

Yes, this.

Unless there was a conversation where they agreed to a specific time for pick up (in which case OP might have been delayed) or that the OP actually explicitly said "you must be ready to jump in the car immediately when I summons you", a lift like this is always at the giver's convenience.

I certainly wouldn't have expected to be asked until 10, which would appear to have been fine. And if I was driving about an hour to help someone, I'd expect them to be ok waiting at least an extra fifteen minutes (of the 40m wait, 20m was inevitable driving time, 5m to get out of the house).

she treats her mum "like a slave" but has nothing to worry about? how old are your kids?

WTF? How does OP treat her mum like a slave? Over-reaction much? OP SAID that it had been arranged before, and did say please when she reminded her mum.

Total non-event! TOTAL over-reaction from her mum!

Nope, I wouldn't be saying sorry when I'd done nothing wrong..

Ok well I was someone who didn't click on the photo so only saw limited messages 🤦‍♀️
So I think it reads a bit better, but perhaps a bit impatiently. The main bit I would find a bit bossy is ' Park the car' which is a bit ott. Even if you thought she'd struggle to wait in a suitable spot for you to jump in, I'd have said ' If it's ok, park as I'm not at the roadside atm' or similar

This wouldn't raise so much as half an eyebrow between me and my mum, regardless of who was the sender 🤷🏼‍♀️

Op , it would be much better to say ' please would you be able to......Or ' We are ready whenever is convenient'

That's okay - I was about to reply, and then realised that we were both actually in agreement 😀

I know, the English language is a wonderful thing isn’t it.

Totally fine unless you have a strained relationship

A mum and daughter should be able to text informally like that

I'm usually available for my children but they only ask for lifts etc. when there's really no other alternative. They don't automatically expect me to drop everything to go pick them up. By the same token I'm the same if there's a bus available and I have no car I'll take the bus. To be fair it depends what you all normally do though.

My mum is super sensitive, so I know she'd find this rude.

I wouldn't though.

Everyone's different.

I have the opposite issue - my mum's texts are so curt I often wonder what I've done to upset her. But it's just her way of writing. I think things get lost in translation if you're not face to face.

You were absolutely fine

It’s the sort of texts my mum and I send and neither of us would consider it rude at all.

However, I do know that other people may consider that kind of text a bit blunt.

Tbh I sorry of think she’s ruder if she’d agreed to pick you up at a certain time and was late?

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!