To be annoyed when people liken smacking a child to violence against women?

[ForestGoblin]

It's obviously not the same thing at all and quite insulting to women.

The only difference is that smacking a child is still legal in England.

Physically and psychologically the damage is almost identical, except children have fewer resources and options for help/escape.

Now as for the spectrum of smacking from calm discipline to outright regular beatings, that also exists amongst those who smack women and/or children.

When the smacking of women was legal, it was similarly justified as a method of discipline that was considered not only necessary for men to keep their wives and children in order, but desirable even commendable. “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” “Sometimes you have to slap some sense into your wife” “Who loves well, punishes well”

YANBU
They are not the same.

Women are more capable of escaping the violence and aware that it is wrong. Possibly even stand up or fight back. (Although I completely understand with the emotional abuse alongside why it doesn't happen)

Children are not able to escape; even more so now with SS so underfunded only the most severe cases get looked at. Children may not be aware it is wrong if it is all they've grown up with. Children are less able to stand up for themselves or fight back. Bruises on Children are more believable as accidents so easier to hide.

So yes OP, you are completely right. They are not the same.

But I'm guessing this isn't the reason you were suggesting they are not comparable?

Someone bigger/stronger using physical violence to control the behaviour of someone weaker/smaller or to punish that person for breaking a set of arbitrary rules imposed by the bigger/stronger person.

Same thing.

Violence is violence and it has no place within a healthy relationship whether it's a romantic relationship or a parent-child relationship.

The tide has turned now. Its the kids battering the hell out of the parents while the parents just stand there and let them do it. If I had belted one of my parents be assured I would only ever do it the once

It’s worse. YABVU and you know it.

I think it's good and about time that we name it for what it is, violence against children.

If you have a problem with that then that reflects on you.

People who smack their kids are lazy and need to attend parenting classes.

Mmmm.

I think a good test is for that person smacking that child, "would you hit another adult for being badly behaved?".

Because if not then it's clearly an abuse and of power.

Funny as DD 14 and I had a conversation about hitting a while ago (never ever raised a hand to her and the thought of it makes me feel sick) and it came out - I was being light hearted as due to some cognitive dissonance I don't hold it against him AT ALL and love him dearly - that when I was young my dad, so her cuddly loving gentle grandad, hit me as discipline on several occasions. It actually really upset her to the point her immediate reaction was she didn't want to see him again for hurting me

Luckily and expectedly after a few days she moved on and is ok about it.

But yea

I agree

To clarify, I'm not encouraging or condoning hitting ANYONE. I was trying to say that most people who hit kids and women probably would shit themselves at the thought of an altercation with a fully grown adult of their own sex

this again.

I honestly think it needs to be outlawed. It's violence and abuse of power against someone vulnerable. It's not on and calling it 'smacking' minimises it. It's shocking IMO. It's just not okay.

Also curious on this.

Why is an adult hitting a (much smaller than them and likely in a power imbalanced dynamic) child better than them hitting another adult?

The only

Oh, please. I know scores of people smacked as children who wouldn't lay a hand on anyone.

It's obviously not the same thing at all and quite insulting to women.

It just comes across like you're saying smacking children is fine but smacking women isn't?

Personally I think violence against someone weaker than you who isn't in a position of power is pretty similar whether its a child or a woman.

I don't see what you are trying to differentiate really.

Exactly!

I think the two are very similar. Lose your temper and rely on your physical advantage to dominate and humiliate someone you should love and care for? It's just wrong.

Well it is.

So are you saying hitting a child is better or worse than hitting a woman?

I assume this is because of the thread this morning where several of us said that smacking children was not an appropriate form of discipline and those suggesting it was would never endorse DV.

Why do you think it’s insulting to women to suggest that smacking a child isn’t OK? I’m genuinely curious about the rationale here.

Yep they are the same. No one should be smacked. People that smack their kids are fucking vile. People that smack their partners are also fucking vile.

I think smacking (as in, even a brief smack on the bum) is wrong. But I'd agree that it isn't the same as domestic violence. We do all sorts of things to children that we don't condone doing adults! If your husband limits your screen time to an hour a day, that is abuse. It isn't abuse if you do that to your ten year old.

Tbh the debate lacks nuance all round. Shouting 'abuse' for a light smack by a loving adult (and a lot of our parents smacked, it wasn't ideal but it was standard punishment once upon a time and still is in large parts of the world) imo does no favours to the experience of children who have genuinely abusive and violent parents.

Connecting your hand with force against and human being, unless in self defence is wrong and should be illegal. Doesn't matter what age they are.

I have never understood the mindset of people that smack (hit) children and are ok with themselves.

How are they different?

How is it insulting to women? In some ways it's worse because a woman has a right not to get hit, a child has no right not to be smacked (England). When people talk about how they hit kids for discipline and not in anger it's disturbing. I don't understand why they think that coldly and unemotionally planning to smack a child as a learning experience is seen as good parenting to some people.