Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children on train seats!

426 replies

gg45 · 23/08/2023 10:09

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

OP posts:
BibbleandSqwauk · 23/08/2023 10:12

If it's a commuter route are you taking about adults if working age? In which case YABU. Pensionable age, less so, but I'd probably stand and let the person sit while leaving my child seated out of the way and less likely to be trodden on.

Flipflopflopflip · 23/08/2023 10:12

You say adults (esp elders) then that you were expected to stand for elders. So are you meaning all adults or elders? What do you class as elders?
Anyone able bodied and capable of standing should stand for elders but I don't see why an able bodied capable adult is more worthy of sitting than a 6 year of child tbh. Regular train commuters are pretty used to standing I would expect

Maxus · 23/08/2023 10:13

In can see why you would need a seat for a child. Adults should stand before children if someone is in need of a seat. Teenagers should stand if needed as long as they don't have needs themselves.

Curtains70 · 23/08/2023 10:13

Hmm I'm not sure. 7 years old is still pretty young. Older than 10 maybe?

I wouldn't like them standing getting knocked around on a busy train to be fair. I would probably have them on my knee or I stand and they have my seat.

To be honest unless you're elderly, disabled or pregnant I don't know why you have more entitlement to a seat than a child?

Marblessolveeverything · 23/08/2023 10:14

Why? A six year old child is safer on a seat. Surely an able bodied adult should offer another more in need? I don't agree children are better able to stand on a train.

justanothernamechangemonday · 23/08/2023 10:15

YABU. Whoever was there first gets the seat, until a disabled / elderly / pregnant person gets on.

Unescorted · 23/08/2023 10:16

On some of the commuter trains around here the kids would get trampled if they stood up. Much safer to let them sit.

pickledandpuzzled · 23/08/2023 10:17

I think children are either more stable and also more energetic than adults, or small enough to sit on a lap. I'm really surprised they sit these days.

Babyenroute · 23/08/2023 10:17

As an adult, I would normally offer my seat to a six year old child

pickledandpuzzled · 23/08/2023 10:17

The bigger risk is them being swept off by the crowd.

Gerrataere · 23/08/2023 10:18

Bored are we? Throw a bit of a shit bomb out there? Some column lines to fill about another decisive topic on aibu?

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 23/08/2023 10:18

As a child I was raised (apologies for the pun) to give up my seat for an adult. Culturally, if one takes MN as a bellwether, this seems to have changed now.
But OP - I'm with you.

IhearyouClemFandango · 23/08/2023 10:18

An elderly, or otherwise infirm person, of course. A healthy middle aged person, why?

porridgecake · 23/08/2023 10:18

A six year old could be badly hurt if the train braked suddenly. Little children are safer seated, as are the frail, elderly or disabled passengers.
A fit, able bodied adult is ok to stand and able to hold onto straps or supports.

BellaJuno · 23/08/2023 10:18

Kids aren’t second class citizens, why should they give up their seat to an adult just because the adult is older? Totally agree that anyone, including kids, should give up a seat to someone more in need but totally disagree that they should give it up purely because someone else older than them is standing.

Iamacatslave · 23/08/2023 10:18

I would offer my seat to the 6 year old.

GeraldTheGoodMouse · 23/08/2023 10:19

No, children are safer seated on trains.

woodhill · 23/08/2023 10:19

With you OP

2 dc could share a seat or sit on their dps laps

HakunaMatiłda · 23/08/2023 10:19

Why are adults more deserving of a seat than a child or a teenager?

BlueBlubbaWhale · 23/08/2023 10:20

This AGAIN. Can't you post on one of the very long previous two posts about it

KickingMyself2021 · 23/08/2023 10:20

YABU - unless there's a health condition which requires use of priority seats (which being old enough to be considered frail is) everyone has the same entitlement to a seat as they paid for a ticket. Blame the train companies for not putting on enough seats.

IMO children under teens should have more entitlement to a seat that a standard adult on a train, it can get quite bumpy and easy to get knocked over. Most commuters are used to standing anyway.

Oakdog · 23/08/2023 10:21

I'd stand myself and free up a seat that way for an older person, rather than let an under 10 stand. The same as on a bus, I can hold onto and balance myself more safely than a relatively young child would.

Whingebob · 23/08/2023 10:21

If the child needs to sit down, their parent should sit them on their lap OR should sacrifice their seat

We're talking about a packed train here. It's not comfortable for anyone, so there's not really an excuse for a child not sitting with their parent.

Maxus · 23/08/2023 10:21

I remember one journey with my then 8 year old. Train was crammed so we had to stand, my 8 year old was stepped on and bags thrown into his face as we stood there because he wasnt adult height, it was frightening for him. Thankfully they journey was only 10 minutes but in my mind he would have found a seat helpfull. He was 2 years older than Ops suggested of 6, this is exactly why children shouldn't stand.

anotheranotheranotheranother · 23/08/2023 10:21

HakunaMatiłda · 23/08/2023 10:19

Why are adults more deserving of a seat than a child or a teenager?

It's because many adults view children as lesser beings and treat them as such.