Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

If my dc see someone who needs the seat more than them, they will offer it without me prompting. Because we have taught them to show respect and consideration to others. An able bodied adult doesn’t need it more than them.

Often on busy trains adults will offer seats to my dc which is very kind of them (they usually won’t take them though unless standing is very uncomfortable for them). Safety wise they are better sitting so dh & I would stand first.

6 year olds have the stability of a blind, 3 legged giraffe. They need to sit on a train and as an adult I'd give up my seat for them.

I had a nightmare holding on to my 4 year old and 6 year old child on the train whilst a man behind me on a seat watched on. I thought it was rude of him not to offer his seat actually!

So a 12 year old should arrive tired at school so a 30 year old who joined the train later can have their seat?

You are being ridiculous. I have taught my children to give up their seat for the same people I would offer my seat to - the elderly, infirm and pregnant. On occasion they have done this and the person has said no. Are they then meant to offer it to a fit working-age adult while the old lady stands?

I would stand up so a 6 year old could take my seat.

There’s a reason children need to have car seats in cars. They are more easily injured.

My mum also has the same view as you about getting up to show ‘respect’ to adults. Seems to be a view very common in the boomer generation. My view, as an adult, is that many adults are asbolute bellends and they don’t deserve automatic respect just because of their age. They earn it.

This attitude always makes me laugh. I’m a little under middle aged and you know what I’ve noticed over the years? That people older than me are often very entitled. They don’t say things like ‘thank you’ when I hold open doors or let them pass in the car etc. whereas youngsters often have fairly decent manners, certainly knowing how to say thanks to strangers. I took my toddler son to the park recently and the older kids were amazing, so kind and so polite and generous.

This idea that the younger generations are entitled is such rubbish, its often older generations who ‘demand’ respect due to their age and this leaves their manners lacking. I spoke about this with my mother recently who is in her 70s and she agreed.

Children don’t need to get out of their seat for you. If they are small enough that they can sit on a lap comfortably and it’s safe to do so, great. If not, and you have no health conditions, then you can stand.

Forcing children to stand up for you isn’t how you teach them to respect you. It clearly hasn’t worked in your case as your parents have taught you to treat children as lower beings. That’s not respect.

If this is the case with your child it is not normal.You need to pay more attention to their gross motor skills and make sure they do more activity to improve their muscle tone

Hahaha sit on laps? Have you been on a train recently? Where should the child put their legs?

Forcing children to stand up for you isn’t how you teach them to respect you. It clearly hasn’t worked in your case as your parents have taught you to treat children as lower beings. That’s not respect.

you know when someone says what you’re thinking, and puts it better than you?

this is it

I can understand a parent giving up their seat, or putting their child
on their lap (which is what we did going to London a couple of weeks ago). But not a child giving up their seat. And just because you would have done that when you were 6 years old, doesn’t mean it should be expected today. People talking about children’s sense of entitlement but not seeing it in themselves.

They’re ‘retirees’ apparently 🙄

YABU
Children are entitled to the seat also. Your issue should be with the trains and lack of seats, not those who are sitting on them.

Have a day off 😂

I’ve been a Dance/Drama teacher for years and plenty of six year olds can barely stand still on one spot on a flat floor!

On the train on Monday the two seats in front of mine were completely stuffed with the luggage of the couple sitting in front of those seats. As it happened (late morning) noone needed a seat but I'd find that much more annoying than a child seated.

Dark ages are long gone. Kids are not lesser then you. You don’t deserve a seat more then them..

I think it's easier for adults to stand than children. I also think seats on commuter trains are very much first come first serve. If an elderly person is standing on a train I think other adults should offer them a seat. So I think YABU.

@ curaçao in fairness, it is within the normal range. One of mine was unable to stand on a moving train without falling at 6 years old. He was also very late to walk and unable to manage trampolines until about 8 years old. He had what you might call dyspraxia-like tendencies, but was not diagnosed as having the condition because he was not in the bottom 5%. So he was deemed to be within the normal range. Luckily hitting puberty seems to have sorted a lot of these weaknesses out and he is now both coordinated and athletic, whereas his friend with dyspraxia still struggles with coordinating basic physical activities like climbing over a stile.

😒 there’s always one ridiculous comparison.

You did it and don't seem to have learned to respect others and possess a 'me, me, me' attitude so clearly your way doesn't work. You're just sad you don't get to throw your weight around in the way you expected you would as an adult. A healthy adult is much more capable of standing on a train than a small child, and anyway children have hidden disabilities too.

@gg45 MN is full of parents who think their dc are Jesus reincarnated so you won’t get much joy on here.

Exactly. I have paid for a ticket for my child, she can have a seat, she’s safer there.

It's always the people who say "in my day....." who seem to miss the point that respect is something you earn, not something you demand.....

As a 30 year old who uses public transport, I'd actually say most kids are way more polite than many of those who have 'earned' their free bus pass. Refusing to wait for their turn to get on the bus, not saying thank you to the driver, using other seats as bag rests or dumping things in the aisle, refusing to allow others to sit at the bus stop....

I am guessing you don’t have kids if you think all 6 year old children are ok to stand on a moving train.

YABU. Over 6 means you've paid for their ticket, I travel into London quite regularly with my children and quite often don't get a seat, then we spend a day out on our feet all day. I wouldn't expect anyone to give up a seat for my child but if I get on a train and there's seats available their sitting on them.