Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

Yabu, why should children stand for healthy adults. My DC has ASD and is unsteady on their feet. You wouldn’t know to look at them. However I would offer my seat to a child, elderly person or a pregnant woman.

I have an invisible disability as does my (very tall) 5 year old DS, it effects our movement and motor functions... it was present at birth, is now and was/will be also at 6 years old.

You are no more entitled to a seat than we are just because you assume children can not have invisible disabilities.

Regardless of that though even non disabled children suffer clumsiness at that age and often aren't as secure in motor skills as a healthy adult.

I mean they are small (cant reach things to hold onto) and often can't be expected to have the motor skills tie their own shoe laces yet but you think they should have better co-ordination and ability to brace themselves than you.

I live in the real world where adults look after their young not expect it the other way round though.

In my experience, older children are more likely to give up their seats than adults.

I use the priority seat when needed due to knee issues, I'm mid 30s and use a walking stick when I travel. Just last week I was berated by an older couple as they thought their needs were greater than mine. Whenever I've not been able to sit, it tends to be pre-teens and teens that move.

If I didn't need to sit then I wouldn't expect a child to give up their seat anymore than I would an adult.

Why do you have more right over a seat just because you’re bigger? If child got there first then it’s their seat for the journey. Unless it’s someone who genuinely needs a seat! I’d argue a child needs it more than an able bodied adult as they’re more likely to get knocked around or fall.

Learning to respect others for children is a lot more than teaching them to give up seats to over able bodied entitled adults.

YABU. Anyone who is elderly, disabled, pregnant or with a baby/toddler should get first priority. After that, older children and able-bodied adults all get equal priority.

Me too.

Oh not this again!!!

You dont have children haven't you? Children six years old can get hurt if they fall because they are not sitting.
adults can give their seats to elder adults.

As an adult on a crowded bus/ train I would put a 6 year old on my knee if someone elderly, pregnant or obviously disabled was standing.

Totally agree with you @gg45 YANBU.

But most people here will tell you that YABU.

I often wonder about what the Venn diagram of posters who get outraged at the thought of teaching their DC to consider others, and posters who complain about inconsiderate parking, other people's boisterous DC in soft play etc etc etc would be.

Today's parents will reap the 'benefits' of raising such self-centred DC who know their rights, but take few responsibilities.

You know what boils my piss OP?

The retirees who EVERY.SINGLE.DAY try and use their bus pass before 9am, when its filled with commuters and school children.

Every single day they hold the bus up having a todo with the driver, and then if the driver cant be arsed with the row, lets them on and then we all apparently have to jump up and give them a seat.

Why cant they wait until after 9? Where do they have to go? Fucking nowhere. I see them all fannying about Asda.

Why would I respect that behaviour?

As an adult I’d probably offer a chair to an under ten, they’re not as stable as adults when the train is in motion and they’re generally better behaved when they can sit down and be entertained rather than standing bored for a long journey.

In fact as a healthy relatively young woman I’d be mildly offended if anyone offered me their seat!

I think teaching them to give up a seat for a disabled/pregnant/elderly person is enough. As an adult you wouldn't give up your seat to another able bodied adult so at what point should the children stop doing this - on their 16th/18th birthday?

On a crowded train when my daughter is using her wheelchair she is low down (so similar height to a 6 year old). She is frequently crowded round so she feels trapped, adults leaning over her, whacked in the face/head by their backpacks or has their arse or crotch practically in her face.
It’s horrible for her and she is 15 now. I wouldn’t want poor 6 year olds to experience that.

Not the point of the tread so sorry for derailing but... How on earth did you edit a post?

"to think about others comfort before their own"
You surely can't think that's a good life lesson? More like put your own mask on before helping others, I think.
It's nice to look out for others, but the buck stops at yourself, and kids need to learn that too, otherwise those kids will find themselves paying too much attention to what everyone else is doing rather than living their life!

So in this case, why is it the 6 year old that ‘should consider others’ instead of the healthy adult?

Whenever someone gets on,

“EXCUSE ME, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 34? WELL I AM ONLY 32, HAVE MY SEAT”

I can see it now 😂

I have been a gymnastics coach for many years so think i am qualified to comment.
If your child really hasn't got the muscle strength and balance to stand on a train, their oarents need to get them away from their screens and do something about it!

Hate this attitude of children being “less than” in society.

God what tedious shite
Bored much OP?

I’m happy enough standing so don’t mind personally but it does also surprise me that parents don’t make their precious offspring stand, my parents used to when I was a kid.

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains

YABU, no need for a 6 year old who was there first to stand for a capable adult.

Everyone should do what they can to accommodate an elderly, pregnant or less able person to sit, but that isn't your point.

Does the 17 year old offer their seat to the 19 year old?

Please tell me the rules!!! 🤣

Trains are much less designed for standing than they used to be, fewer things in reach if short with short arms, fewer rails, head at rucksack height is miserable too!