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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children on train seats!

426 replies

gg45 · 23/08/2023 10:09

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

OP posts:
CostelloJones · 23/08/2023 10:21

Oh Great, another one of these threads.

and yes, YABU

redrighthand83 · 23/08/2023 10:21

Oh good. Another thread about children on trains.

So you want all children to stand, where they cant have access to the majority of things that keep them occupied, so an adult can sit down?

The other adults on the carriage need to be the ones offering a seat to those less able to stand, and not just because they are an adult.

How entitled!

curaçao · 23/08/2023 10:21

Kids can stand a lot more safely than adults- lower centre of gravity, more agile, better balance, lighter and less likely to get hurt if they fall

Moveoverdarlin · 23/08/2023 10:21

Six??? No way. 12 maybe if the person was particularly elderly. My Dad is 81, he’d give up his seat for a six year old child!

marblesthecat · 23/08/2023 10:23

justanothernamechangemonday · 23/08/2023 10:15

YABU. Whoever was there first gets the seat, until a disabled / elderly / pregnant person gets on.

I agree with this. I'm an able-bodied adult and I wouldn't expect a child to get up for me if they were there first.

willingtolearn · 23/08/2023 10:23

A person's a person, no matter how small. Dr Seuss

YABU

AlyssumandHelianthus · 23/08/2023 10:23

There's been a lot of this on MN recently. I wonder why?

allhellcantstopusnow · 23/08/2023 10:24

YABU

Summerrainagain1 · 23/08/2023 10:24

Yes I think YABU. Why should a child move for a fit and healthy adult? For an elderly person, or someone otherwise in need, maybe. But no, I don't think being "older" gives you more right to a seat. I know I could much better manage to stand (both in terms of tiredness and balance) than my 6 yo.

Sceptre86 · 23/08/2023 10:24

I have a 6 year old and a 7 year old and I'd rather they sat on a seat but I would stand myself for an elderly person or obviously pregnant women. If I couldn't stand near them then I'd scoot one over to my lap. I wouldn't expect them to stand for a regular adult just as I wouldn't expect them to offer my kids a seat. It's also safer for them to be seated as I would assume most adults would have better balance than my young kids.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/08/2023 10:25

Couldn't you just go back and read the thread on this from a week or so ago?

Tough tits imo.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 23/08/2023 10:26

Hello. That would be me. Please understand that I honestly could not care less about anyone else on this planet when it comes to my children.
I will absolutely prioritise their comfort and most importantly their safety.
So if we get there first and get seats you can absolutely guratee they will be staying in them.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/08/2023 10:26

curaçao · 23/08/2023 10:21

Kids can stand a lot more safely than adults- lower centre of gravity, more agile, better balance, lighter and less likely to get hurt if they fall

You think a 6 year old has better balance than an adult? Really?

My 6 year old fell over when he sneezed yesterday

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 23/08/2023 10:28

When my now teens were small they were less able to stand than me/an able bodied adult and I wouldn't expect them to stand, although I would stand if their weren't enough seats.

Now that they are older and I've got a variety of health issues, I'd expect them to stand over me. I still wouldn't expect them to stand for other able bodied adults though. Elderly/pregnant/disabled/small children yes. But not just because someone is older.

Bumblebee112 · 23/08/2023 10:28

Gerrataere · 23/08/2023 10:18

Bored are we? Throw a bit of a shit bomb out there? Some column lines to fill about another decisive topic on aibu?

@Gerrataere 🤣🤣 it’s hilarious!! I want one of these jobs where I can just sit and make up crap on MN all day!

To answer your question @gg45 - children are people too 🤣 Elderly, pregnant, disabled, or a parent with a young child - id give you my seat and leave my child sitting down. Or move them on to my knee if they were small enough.
Out of interest, what age do you think they become worthy of a seat on a busy train? 😅

Magneta · 23/08/2023 10:28

As you acknowledge in your OP there are loads of shades of grey on this. A 7 year old standing on a packed underground train with laptop bags and rucksacks swinging around, at head height and adult bodies squished all around them isn't sensible.

I do get cross when parents don't take children onto their laps in crowded trains though. Kids can fit on laps for years and years.

CostelloJones · 23/08/2023 10:29

curaçao · 23/08/2023 10:21

Kids can stand a lot more safely than adults- lower centre of gravity, more agile, better balance, lighter and less likely to get hurt if they fall

in theory but I don’t know any six year old with such good balance they could stand on a busy commuter train. I would much rather stand and see a child sat safely in a seat where they won’t fall or get squashed by a commuter.

Honestly people say “it takes a village” until something inconveniences them, then “entitled” parents and children are easy targets for blame when something doesn’t go the way you want.

Iam4eels · 23/08/2023 10:30

How about anyone who feels able to stand and wants to do so gives their seat up and everyone else stays on theirs? We shouldn't be forcing children to stand because they're deemed less worthy of a seat, a young child is much safer seated than standing on a crowded train.

My children are hypermobile, amongst other things, they will be seated on moving transport and they will be staying seated.

indyocean · 23/08/2023 10:30

Wow!

CostelloJones · 23/08/2023 10:31

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/08/2023 10:26

You think a 6 year old has better balance than an adult? Really?

My 6 year old fell over when he sneezed yesterday

Show quote history

😂😂😂

JustFrustrated · 23/08/2023 10:31

Hard disagree.

I've seen my 11 year old on a tube. She's tiny. And has my balance. So she's a danger to herself, and other people when the tube breaks hard (and no, it's not something that can be taught)

I always stand in place of her or my eldest (who's much bigger than me) because I'm their mom. But I would never get them to give up their seat unless it was for someone who clearly needed it (pregnant, disabled or frail).

At the weekend, when travelling in NYC, people gave up their seats for them, including teenage boys.

Because that's what should happen, people assess the situation and determine who looks more needy. Age doesn't come into it.

If a woman my age got on, and looked tired, or too hot or in anyway less able than I felt, I'd offer my seat.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 23/08/2023 10:32

Much safer for children to be seated than wobbling around in the aisles.

kittensinthekitchen · 23/08/2023 10:32

You tried this thread already in April, and no-one agreed with you then either.

What's your agenda?

indyocean · 23/08/2023 10:33

Adults who travel by train for work must surely be used to standing now and again.

Whingebob · 23/08/2023 10:35

willingtolearn · 23/08/2023 10:23

A person's a person, no matter how small. Dr Seuss

YABU

You're a person sure, you don't need a
Full seat though

This topic is also very boring but seems to be a MN fave