Just want to go home and live with my mum

[Aserena]

I suppose you could say I’m a successful independent woman.
Left home at 18. BSc, MA, Phd. Got a good career which is stressful sometimes but overall I enjoy it. Bought my own house. Good group of friends. Single but content with that. Own a little dog. Go on a nice holiday every couple of years.

I’m 38, and really very lucky- I know have a good life.

And yet, if I am perfectly honest, there is quite a large part of me, that would like to chuck the job, sell the house and go home to live with my mum. Get a job at a supermarket somewhere.

Living alone is hard. Keeping on top of the housework, working full time, maintaining friendships and social connections. I can do it, but it’s just relentless, and I’m not as good at any of it as I want to be. I’m feeling fed up.

I feel as though I left home at 18, all wide eyed and excited, wondering what the world held in store. And now, like a day out at the theme park, I’ve been around a good few times, done all the things, won some prizes, got the T-shirts, had a good time but now I’m tired and I’m ready to come home again.

I’m probably not going to. But AIBU to feel this way?

Oh, it’s visibly the post of someone who manifests ‘gratitude, kindness and respect’ in her daily life, and who brings to bear the breadth of cultural knowledge and tolerance gleaned from her travels to 70 countries and multilingualism — can’t you tell?

Why not? I don't think it's a bad plan though i would suggest actively looking for a job that you can be satisfied with, nothing wrong with retail but ensure that you really have thought that through. I also think you should consider renting your house out rather than selling, as long as it covers the mortgage, costs and income tax plus a bit for west and tear you can take a break - in fact could you rent your house for a year and take a years sabbatical?

@starlight13

lol is that the meaning of life?!

sounds to me like that’s the last thing OP is thinking about given she is wanting to move in with her mum!

take your patriarchal beliefs elsewhere

@starlight13

good idea! OP can go travelling!

it certainly doesn’t sound to me like she wants to be bogged down with all the extra housework and drudgery that a baby brings

Thanks for this insightful comment 🙄

Far more insightful than any of your comments so far.

What you're looking for is love , care and being cherished. Tbh it's what a lot of us want. Loneliness is often very hard. After being a single mum, child now adult, I've felt the same many times. It's hard not having someone/thing to share your thoughts with, I'm not saying a partner, it can be very lonely in a partnership too. I think at some point after being fiercely independent , we can become tired of the responsibility.Big hugs whatever happens ❤️

I do live at home with my mum my father, my husband and our daughter, and at any one time one or more of my seven siblings.. we had been renting in a city but wanted to build so we moved with my parents cause his are in Africa.
When I moved in with them I was so lonely, I cried happy tears when people visited because I was so alone. Funny because now all I want to room to breath and no noise, read for five mins, bathe, watch TV.
I'm not ungrateful, what they have done for us is so generous and they love my little family so much and are so good to us. Anyways my point is I wanted to move home for the company more than anything else but maybe I didnt consider what I was gonna have to give up before committing. I know Ur situ is very different, but just a gentle reminder that you will have to live by her rules and remember it's no longer your house. IS THAT WHAT U REALLY WANT... REALLLY .. LIKE REALLY..if it was possible could u start goin home for weekends or something. Anyways that's my two cent on it

I identify with this so much. I had a very eventful day at work recently, lots of dynamics and things to process and coming home late to an empty house was really difficult. I just wanted someone to make me a cup of tea or pour me a drink and listen to me or at least pretend to! Doesn't have to be a romantic partner but it's hard to find otherwise. And I wouldn't mind being needed in turn, I think we don't just want to take but the opportunity to give too. Independence is wonderful, I am hugely independent but it definitely has its downsides and when they hit, its a very lonely feeling.

@starlight13

youre welcome! Glad you’re starting to see that the meaning of life doesn’t equal baby for everyone. Well done you!