Ex MIL wants to take my 1 year old away for 3 months

[diamontee]

I know I'm not being unreasonable, but just need somewhere to rant!

Ex MIL casually dropped in the conversation that she wants to take DD (13 months) to her home country for three months. I immediately said absolutely not! She then followed up with "ok, just one month then"! This is apparently so that DD can "get used" to being away from me as she is very clingy. Why on earth would a 13 month old need to get used to being away from their mother for months at a time?!

Apparently I'm completely unreasonable for not allowing this and have been accused of "hogging" the baby... honestly couldn't make this up!

WTF?! Absolutely YANBU. What is she even thinking?!!

Where's her home country and where do you live? Not that it's relevant - answer would still be no, absolutely not!

Do not let that baby out of your sight when she's around!! Bonkers.

How can you even take this seriously? Just ignore.

NO. End of.
Your baby stays with you. She wants to play Mummy again.

Hogging the baby 😂She's a lunatic to think anyone would allow that.

She’s insane. She’s also an ex in law so just stop having anything to do with her.

If you dont already have one..get a passport for your baby and keep it well hidden.
She is bonkers.. you take a little one to the park to get used to being away from Mummy!!!...

I saw a great quote about MILs yesterday - "Anytime my mother in law starts giving me parenting advice, I say, "Stop right there - I'm married to the product of your parenting, and trust me, he still neeeds work!" It made me laugh, but I think it is also a good response. You are the mother, OP. Trust your judgement, and your parenting.

No chance! Especially not if it has a different language, climate, food, worse healthcare etc

Yeah she's crazy

That would be the moment I tell her our relationship is over. Any baby related requests or questions can go through her son. Block her on everything and ignore her.

I would worry about her motives. Would she bring the baby home after visiting the in laws? Where would your ex be during this time?

What a nightmare. Congratulations on making her your EX MIL, OP. Sensible move there.

Apparently I'm completely unreasonable for not allowing this and have been accused of "hogging" the baby... honestly couldn't make this up!

That’s one of the perks of being a mum; you get to hog your own baby! The woman sounds deranged!

This is one of those circumstances when that old MN chestnut "No is a complete sentence" genuinely applies.
Stick to your guns OP you are 100% right.

I wish you had enabled voting. It’s been a long time since I saw a thread at 100% YANBU

"As my Ex MIL I'd just like to remind you, you have zero rights to access my child. If you would like to use phrases like 'hogging' the baby, I can easily refuse to let you see her at all. I don't appreciate the emotional blackmail and it's completely inappropriate to take a child that age abroad without her mother. If she is 'clingy' it's age appropriate. She's behaving like a normal child of her age."

I'd also consider making it harder for your ex to take his child abroad without your permission. This type of request from extended family sets off alarm bells.

Absolutely 100% no chance!!

Haha, good joke MIL!

Seriously, no way. And block her on everything, she sounds unhinged.

Please tell me she doesn’t have access to the baby’s passport?

This is madness. She's a baby.
Your partner needs to step in and speak to their mother.

This is absolutely bonkers! Agree with pp, apply for a passport for your child and hide it.

I wouldn't let my ex mil take my children abroad for a month without me and they are 8 and 5. I can't believe she even asked

Frankly, fuck that