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Original poster

Just don’t know how I am going to get to Sunday without exploding

313 replies

Holidaynervousbreakdown · 21/08/2023 20:21

On holiday in lovely resort with DH DCs and PILs who we invited as they’ve had a tough year. I kind of regretted asking them after we did as MIL is so stressful and I know I have no one to blame but myself.

Basically been looking forward to this all year, DH and I both needed a holiday so much. I KNEW it was going to be stressful though DH kept saying it won’t be that bad. It is, and worse.

Cannot go and sit by the pool with my book as MIL simply doesn’t stop talking. DH said to her today I think R wants to read mum but she just started up again five minutes later. If I sit in another part of pool ‘for the shade’ she moves next to me. I ended up just going in today and reading inside.

Our apartment is on the ground floor, PILs have apartment on higher floor. Our apartment just gets used for toilet and kitchen purposes with MIL just coming in. We have a one bedroom apartment with DCs in bedroom and sofa bed in kitchen/living area. I went for a sleep today and MIL just came in and went to the loo
and was bustling about.

Tried to get a break today and bumped into her on way to shops. She ended up
coming even though I just wanted to walk to the supermarket and have an hour to decompress. Spent the hour going round supermarket instead with commentary on everything I put in trolley and whether it was needed or not.

Every day is just running commentary of questions and thoughts on plans for the day, when exactly is everybody doing stuff, no spontaneity at all like there would be if it was just us.

They have all gone out for an evening walk and I’m alone in the apartment trying not to cry. The resort is so lovely and without them we would be having such a relaxing time, I know I have no one to blame but myself. DH and I talked alone about coming back here next year and I said sorry not doing this again with your parents and he just acted really hurt. We can only afford one holiday like this a year and I just can’t do this again.

OP posts:
Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/08/2023 21:05

From tomorrow your apartment is your apartment, it's not the toilet or a communal space for a start.

Feel for
You though mil is like this and why I'll never holiday with her again apart from a couple
Of nights in the uk.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 21/08/2023 21:10

Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

This really made me laugh 😂

Lastordersplease23 · 21/08/2023 21:10

I have lots of sympathy for you. This was me this time last year. I asked PIL to join us on holiday. Two weeks of pure hell from MIL. She was agitated, picky and rude. I've actually lost respect for her. She has never apologised and its been swept under the carpet. I still love her and have a great relationship with her but I'll never look at her the same way.

There's a reason they say don't go on holiday with your in-laws 🙈

ThePoetsWife · 21/08/2023 21:13

TenOhSeven · 21/08/2023 20:31

Why are you not being direct with her?
"Can you leave me in peace to read for a bit Pam, I'll come and talk to you after."
"I'll let you get on, I'm just off to the supermarket, see you when I'm back in an hour."
"I'm going for a rest, if you need the loo you'll have to go up to your own apartment."
Polite and breezy, big smile and a wave. Would that work?

This.

Use your words.

Branster · 21/08/2023 21:14

Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

This us the funniest comment ever!!!!
They're like seals when they go in the sea and keep watching you, it's endearing and irritating at the same time 😁

Floofydawg · 21/08/2023 21:15

Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

😂 shit mermaids!

OP this sounds horrendous and I agree that you need to be blunt. My DH isn't even allowed to speak to me if I'm reading on holiday.

Good luck and try not to kill the MIL. And do not under any circumstances agree to holiday with her ever again.

Pallisers · 21/08/2023 21:15

like shit mermaids is the best!

Isitautumnyet23 · 21/08/2023 21:16

We only go on holiday with our kids (love both sets of grandparents but its our time as a little family). Why does he have to bring his parents on holiday as a grown adult? Fine if you both really want them to come or perhaps for a special occasion, but if you dont want to go with them, he just needs to accept that. Simple.

Hedonism · 21/08/2023 21:17

shit mermaids 🤣🤣🤣

This is my favourite ever mn comment.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2023 21:18

Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

I hope you write for a living!

SadAndMushyAndComplicated · 21/08/2023 21:18

Headphones. Big obtrusive DJ cans. You don’t even have to listen to anything. They function as a visual deterrent.

ZeldaFighter · 21/08/2023 21:19

Can you distract her with the kids? Get her to watch them, play with them, take them out etc?

Mumsanetta · 21/08/2023 21:19

I feel for you! Can you download an audio book and listen to it with headphones instead? Or how about watching a good tv show on your phone? If she keeps going on at you when you have headphones on you can just ignore her!

Ponderponde · 21/08/2023 21:19

😂. This sounds JUST like my MIL (who is lovely but I would never in a million years go on holiday with - luckily DH is on board). I especially relate to the constant talking when you are trying to read a book in silence, the noisy bustling about, the stressful planning and the supermarket shopping with running commentary. I don’t have any helpful advice apart from - never, ever agree to go on holiday with them again?

Floofydawg · 21/08/2023 21:19

It's just occurred to me that I was the shit mermaid when I went on holiday with my mum. I'd go and bob around in the sea to escape her chatter but I could feel her eyes boring into me from the beach, willing me to come back.

Never. Again.

Physicstruck · 21/08/2023 21:20

Oh no 🙈 is she like Noreen off Benidorm?
cos that’s how I imagine her 😄

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 21/08/2023 21:20

Find somewhere to go tomorrow on your own. Do not tell MiL- your DH can mention it once you are already gone.

Also stop using your room as the go to- they can use their own toilet! This also means you have a space they have no need to access. Maybe you've had too much sun and need a lie down in the afternoons....

Rudolphthefrog · 21/08/2023 21:21

I quite enjoy going away with my in-laws - but it’s absolutely not a holiday for me, it’s not relaxing and I wouldn’t agree to it as my only or main holiday. For us it’s a usually an extra “bonus” long weekend or something in an half term and my children love it so I do it for them.

My in-laws are lovely people, I love them and get on with them but a long weekend is my limit of holidays with people/house guests. However lovely they are they grate on me after a few days. The kind of thing you’re talking about would drive me potty, totally reasonable to say “never again”, unless of course you’ve holidayed for the last decade with your family!

poppym12 · 21/08/2023 21:22

Download an audio book and tell her you are finding trying to read in the sunshine is causing headaches. Have obvious ear buds in and lie back and close your eyes. Occasionally let out a little snore.

OriginalUsername2 · 21/08/2023 21:23

Squidlette · 21/08/2023 21:03

I get like this with my immediate family. They all want to be with me. Me. Never go to kids clubs or anything, or whatever the dh equivalent of one is. They just want to suck on my vibes. I have to be blunt and tell them all that I AM READING. BY MYSELF. Often, they all just bob about in the sea, staring at me, until i can cope with people again.

Like shit mermaids.

I just burst out laughing at this! This is my life 😂

Cardboardcup · 21/08/2023 21:24

Another vote for headphones.

CurlewKate · 21/08/2023 21:24

If she was a friend presumably you'd say "Look, I really need an hour with my book. I'll see you at lunch." Do that.
Get your dh to go shopping with her.
Ask her to watch the children while you and DH go for a drink.
Be

Tinkerbyebye · 21/08/2023 21:25

Whilst you may have to do some stuff with them, send your dh and the kids off with them a couple of times , and try and get him to take her off each day so you can relax

be obvious and put headphones in, be blunt if those don’t work ,tell her you want to read on your own for an hour

SaulsShitCar · 21/08/2023 21:25

My own mum is like this. No boundaries and never stops talking ☹️

I have to be very direct with her. I tell her that I love her very much but I need some quiet and space.

She's offended every time, but I have to tell her. Otherwise I'll just never see her.

I get it. It's awful. Brace yourself for the guilt tripping "they'll be dead soon and you'll be sorry" posters.

I love my mum. I just wish she'd back off and respect what I need at times.

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