Just don’t know how I am going to get to Sunday without exploding

[Holidaynervousbreakdown]

On holiday in lovely resort with DH DCs and PILs who we invited as they’ve had a tough year. I kind of regretted asking them after we did as MIL is so stressful and I know I have no one to blame but myself.

Basically been looking forward to this all year, DH and I both needed a holiday so much. I KNEW it was going to be stressful though DH kept saying it won’t be that bad. It is, and worse.

Cannot go and sit by the pool with my book as MIL simply doesn’t stop talking. DH said to her today I think R wants to read mum but she just started up again five minutes later. If I sit in another part of pool ‘for the shade’ she moves next to me. I ended up just going in today and reading inside.

Our apartment is on the ground floor, PILs have apartment on higher floor. Our apartment just gets used for toilet and kitchen purposes with MIL just coming in. We have a one bedroom apartment with DCs in bedroom and sofa bed in kitchen/living area. I went for a sleep today and MIL just came in and went to the loo
and was bustling about.

Tried to get a break today and bumped into her on way to shops. She ended up
coming even though I just wanted to walk to the supermarket and have an hour to decompress. Spent the hour going round supermarket instead with commentary on everything I put in trolley and whether it was needed or not.

Every day is just running commentary of questions and thoughts on plans for the day, when exactly is everybody doing stuff, no spontaneity at all like there would be if it was just us.

They have all gone out for an evening walk and I’m alone in the apartment trying not to cry. The resort is so lovely and without them we would be having such a relaxing time, I know I have no one to blame but myself. DH and I talked alone about coming back here next year and I said sorry not doing this again with your parents and he just acted really hurt. We can only afford one holiday like this a year and I just can’t do this again.

I feel you OP as am in a similar situation only with my own parents! Generally good natured and gung ho but we're in a place (in England) that my dad has paid for. Daily activities and planning and cooking meals are fastidiously being avoided. I get they're elderly now but buying and cooking food for 6 is no holiday for me. Plus my mum wakes up early. None of this is anyone's 'fault' but it's hard and I've resolved to go somewhere sunny where I don't have to shop and cook next year!
Perhaps you could do something more local and closer with your ILs in future (weekend away etc)?

I love reading on holiday

I can completely understand not wanting to listen to someone jabbering on when you're trying to relax, so I wouldn't invite someone on holiday who had form for imposing her annoying chatter on people. It makes no sense that you're annoyed with someone for being themselves around you, when you literally invited them to join you. I guess it's a lesson learned for next year, but I'm sure MIL will turn down any future offers anyway, given that you've spent the whole week trying to avoid her without saying why.

Get some sound blocking headphones so that you actually can’t hear her. Download some audio books, close your eyes and just ignore her when she tries to speak to you. Can you lock the door so nobody can get in if you are having a break inside? They can use the toilet and kitchen in the other apartment.

Rude! I’m very well read thank you

I would embrace cultural experiences whilst on holiday.

I would embrace cultural experiences whilst on holiday.

As do I but sometimes when it's hot and you've spent your morning embracing cultural experiences you want to just chill out.

You can do that and also enjoy a good book!! I try to pick a book set in the country I am travelling in. Read some amazing Australian fiction while travelling in Australia. My book in Singapore was set in hing king but it was the closest I could get.

I appreciate you are trying to now appear intellectually superior after you got attacked - but people are different and enjoy different things on holiday. There is nothing wrong with reading a good book and relaxing during a holiday - is actually very common.

embracing different cultures is also very common - and you can do both! Or neither.

You’re assuming that I am not well read….never assume!

Can MIL and PIL not go off and do lunch/dinner sight seeing or shopping etc by themselves instead if hanging around you and your family all the time?

Intellectually superior? What on Earth are you referring to/assuming?!

😂😂😂 brilliant.

So do I, and I read when I'm not embracing the local culture.

That’s the happy medium: embrace local culture, relax with a book and interact with invited guests

What is your point? Are you making a cheap jab at me or making a constructive comment to the OP? For your information, I have a degree in Literature, specifically Old Icelandic and Middle English….I have caught up to the 21st Century

I feel this and my MIL would be the exact same, lovely woman but doesn't understand boundaries/just chooses to ignore them. Hope you manage to get some peace at some point OP!

Who made YOU the arbiter of how best to enjoy your holiday??????

You do what pleases you and leave others to their own individual tastes. You are certainly not in any position to judge anyone else's preferences.

In short DFOD.

this is one of the best quotes I have read in ages on mumsnet!

you should have also told us your husband earns a six figure salary😊

I'd love to be able to say Fuck Off in Old Icelandic but I'm sure the sentiment would have been understood at any time in any language. 🙄

I don’t feel that leaving others to their own devices is appropriate if you’ve invited them to share a family holiday with you

Reluctantly went on holiday to our favourite place with MIL and BIL and SIL a few years back. Urgh. They were so annoying. We had booked 10 days and thank goodness “only” 4 of them were with the in-laws and they left early as they’d been there a few days before us AND they were in separate area accommodation but it was still awful and tiring. I was sooooooo relieved when we at least got the remaining 6 days alone as a family!! I feel for you and I hope you can get some me-time. You may have to just make a run for it one morning 💖🫣

Headphones
Dark glasses
Sullen uncommunicative face
Nose in book
Nervesof steel
Swear within earshot each time she approaches
" FFS not again"
Walk off
Call DH over and swap places

OP I am very like you and have always found frankness invaluable.

Tomorrow when you settle down to read, when MIL talks to you give her a few minutes then say "Right, I've got to a really interesting/thrilling/ complicated part of this book and I really want to concentrate on it. Would you please look out for the kids/your son and make sure I get a couple of hours of uninterrupted peace to enjoy my holiday with this book? ?"

Then if she starts talking feel free to express your irritation, because you know she's doing it on purpose.

I mentioned my history as you suggested that I ought to improve myself in reading. You’re clearly enthusiastically argumentative so I shan’t waste any more of my time replying to you.

Sorry I honestly thought you were joking.

no offence intended