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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DS's new GF a CF or AIBU?

325 replies

Toolittl · 21/08/2023 11:32

Adult DS 25 still lives at home. DH and I go away every weekend in our caravan and so his newish GF 26 and also still lives at home (who I have yet to meet in person) comes and stays with him which I'm absolutely fine with she lives 3hr drive away. The last 2 weeks we've come home and she's left used panty liners both in the bathroom bin and in DS's wastepaper bin in bedroom.
I don't know how to broach it with him. He will take it that I don't like her without meeting her etc. It's not like she's a young kid at 26, personally I would either empty both bins before I left or pop them in my wash bag to take home with me. I left the caddy bags out as a hint this weekend. I would be mortified to think someone else would see something so intimate and for context they're not wrapped back up in their packet either.
Opinions?

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 21/08/2023 11:43

I mean it's a bin your son can empty his own surely I wouldn't want to empty a grown man's bin .

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 21/08/2023 11:43

catsoop · 21/08/2023 11:43

She's not a CF she's grim AF.
Who leaves used sanitary products in full view ?
That's just rank. If it was me I'd wrap it in loads of toilet paper & put it in the bin if it wasn't flushable.
She's rank.

No sanitary products are flushable anyway so they have to go in the bin

Whammyyammy · 21/08/2023 11:43

ChristmasCrumpet · 21/08/2023 11:34

Why is your son not emptying his own bedroom bin at 25yrs old??

Because he's 25 and still lives with his mommy. He's a Manchild

Bluesky85 · 21/08/2023 11:45

No sanitary products should be flushed down the loo.

pontipinemum · 21/08/2023 11:46

No I get it, I always wrap pads etc back in their wrapper. If I wasn't using a new one I'd wrap the old one in tissue no one wants to see that. People not wrapping them gets them stuck on the trays in public loos to.

multivac · 21/08/2023 11:46

This is bonkers. Is she a cheeky fucker for putting rubbish in the bin?!

tescocreditcard · 21/08/2023 11:46

You need to ask your son to ask his girlfriend not to do that. I know it will be a difficult conversation but look upon it as a chance to work on your communication skills. Part of being an adult is that we sometimes have to have difficult conversations with other people.

If you still can't bring yourself to say anything. Remove the bin from the shared bathroom and leave your son to sort out his own bin.

Original poster
Toolittl · 21/08/2023 11:47

It's more the fact for want of a better way of putting it leaving them "sunny side up". I wouldn't mind if they were wrapped, they're just chucked in without regard. I don't want to have to see someone else's bodily fluids staring at me on a pad.

OP posts:
Peony654 · 21/08/2023 11:47

Why on earth are you emptying your 25-DS bedroom bin, that's bizarre. It's a bit weird but that what the bathroom bin is for surely? I'd personally wrap it in toilet paper so it wasn't visible.

Mrsjayy · 21/08/2023 11:47

I mean if you are totally grossed out about a sanitary towel get a packet of nappy sacks and leave them in the toilet on top of the bin is enough of a passive aggressive hint !

NoSquirrels · 21/08/2023 11:47

Doesn’t your bathroom bin have a bin liner and a lid? If not, do that (and tell your DS to put a liner in his bin). I don’t know, I couldn’t get too worked up about this. It’s just blood. I’d say to my DS, Hey DS, if your GF’s on her period when she’s here could you empty the bins before I get home please? And then think nothing more of it. (I mean, I wouldn’t even say that because it wouldn’t bother me but if you need to discuss it just be factual about what you want to happen.)

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/08/2023 11:50

Oh you're definitely odd. Expecting her to take them home! Do you know what bins are for, they aren't purely decorative, they're practical.

MadNads · 21/08/2023 11:51

catsoop · 21/08/2023 11:43

She's not a CF she's grim AF.
Who leaves used sanitary products in full view ?
That's just rank. If it was me I'd wrap it in loads of toilet paper & put it in the bin if it wasn't flushable.
She's rank.

No sanitary products should be flushed. What's a bin for if you can't put used items in it?

multivac · 21/08/2023 11:51

I don't need to dispose of sanitary products; but when our sonsI' gfs started staying over regularly, I bought a lidded, lined bin with a non-touch lid for the bathroom. So they didn't need to feel uncomfortable, or that they had to stuff used pads or tampons in their bag to ' take home with them'.

WaltzingWaters · 21/08/2023 11:51

I always try to wrap them up. Even at home but especially if using somebody else’s bin. But the bin is there to be used. Ask your DS to have a clean up and empty bins before you get home. He should absolutely be emptying his own bedroom bin at 25 years old anyway!!

Gazelda · 21/08/2023 11:52

I tend to agree with you OP.

I go through all bins before emptying them so that I can take out anything that should be recycled. I'd hate to rummage through and end up with a used pad stuck to my wrist!

But surely a simple request to DS that he gives the house a quick tidy including bin emptying should suffice?

Whataretheodds · 21/08/2023 11:52

Toolittl · 21/08/2023 11:47

It's more the fact for want of a better way of putting it leaving them "sunny side up". I wouldn't mind if they were wrapped, they're just chucked in without regard. I don't want to have to see someone else's bodily fluids staring at me on a pad.

Ask him to wrap her sanpro before putting it in the bin (regardless of when the bin is being emptied).

And if you're away for 3 weeks of course he should be emptying the bins during that time.

Duchessofspace · 21/08/2023 11:54

Tell him to empty the bins before you get back

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 21/08/2023 11:55

catsoop · 21/08/2023 11:43

She's not a CF she's grim AF.
Who leaves used sanitary products in full view ?
That's just rank. If it was me I'd wrap it in loads of toilet paper & put it in the bin if it wasn't flushable.
She's rank.

This. It's gross to not wrap them up. I always wrap mine in a bit of toilet paper before I put them in the bin. Just tell him straight up - it's not difficult.

Mrsjayy · 21/08/2023 11:55

WaltzingWaters · 21/08/2023 11:51

I always try to wrap them up. Even at home but especially if using somebody else’s bin. But the bin is there to be used. Ask your DS to have a clean up and empty bins before you get home. He should absolutely be emptying his own bedroom bin at 25 years old anyway!!

Yes just get him to empty the bins surely if he is havingsex his gf over he should be doing that anyway!

Bluedaisydress · 21/08/2023 11:55

YABU

Panty liners don't usually come with individual wrappers. Only sanitary pads do.

Buy better bins with lids. And buy her some of those eco friendly period product bags - they're like dog shit bags but lilac or pink.

And stop smothering your adult child. 😁

PegasusReturns · 21/08/2023 11:56

Buy a lidded bin and use a bin liner 🤷‍♀️

buckingmad · 21/08/2023 11:57

Get your adult son to sort his own bin out? The irony of calling the GF a CF when your own adult son gets Mummy to tidy his room 😂

ChristmasCrumpet · 21/08/2023 11:57

Toolittl · 21/08/2023 11:47

It's more the fact for want of a better way of putting it leaving them "sunny side up". I wouldn't mind if they were wrapped, they're just chucked in without regard. I don't want to have to see someone else's bodily fluids staring at me on a pad.

So tell your adult son to empty his own bins??!

Aishah231 · 21/08/2023 11:57

I get you OP. It's disgusting and thoughtless. I'm not sure this can be dealt with tactfully you'll have to just tell your son it's disgusting and can his girlfriend not do it. It's also very wasteful - do people really need to use pantyliners? Imagine the landfill.