Funniest thing on your school report

[KMA2023]

I am an oldie so did O levels and actually did well. We had an amazing form tutor but apart from frequent asthma attacks I hated school and would skive off anytime I could get away with it.

His end of year comment was "KMA2023 does really well at school but would do even better if she actually turned up".

My parents would probably have been fined now but I didn't care.

What's your best school report comment?

“Sets herself very low targets which she rarely achieves.”

I never wrote an essay, so there was nothing for him to see!

I've just remembered another.

If Pup wasn't so standoffish she'd find it easier to make friends.

I was painfully shy till my mid twenties

Was described as ‘diffident’ and parents were disappointed in reading this. Actually spot on. Pity the observant teacher didn’t have skills or inclination to help me. Parents’ reaction was part of why I was a diffident child.

My DS was described as being good at and joining in with football. He intensely dislikes and would avoid. Clearly a cut and paste job from teacher.

PE teacher = "has an excellent sense of humour - but what about the work?"

My English teacher said I was a terrible writer and a worse reader.

I had, at 13, been working my way through all the classics, and am now an author...

I had, “Testina always has something to contribute - unfortunately usually only to the person sitting next to her.”

"Who is this girl?" from my biology teacher. To be fair, I skived off biology most of the time.

“For you, pepperaunt, the take-home exam was invented” (I was big on crossings-out and adding paragraphs in the middle of what I’d already written, with elaborate instructions on where to place them)

Apparently I was doing well with the clarinet. I have never touched one in my life.

I got called a "rogue" by my RE teacher in the 90's at a parents evening. My mum literally was in fits of laughter from what she told me. That teacher hated me before that night but even more after my mums giggle fit lmao

Told I was aiming too high about wanting to go to university because I was a daydreamer.

"Stickyrice pudding doesn't have the academic ability for HE, perhaps an apprenticeship would be more realistic?"

I've got an undergraduate degree and a masters.

Mine is a college one, when I was doing computer studies BTEC back in 1989/90, for an assembly language module.

"Xxx shows a fine mastery of the assembler used in practical lectures"

Glad about that. It was back in the days of shareware software and I wrote the bloody thing as a home hobby!!

A couple that still make me chuckle; "Outsideismyhappy is painfully shy and will not speak in front the class". I became a teacher!

Not me but my DD; "Outsideismyhappy(junior) was fascinated with our topic on dolphins. She researched the topic in the school library to find out an impressive number of facts."

Feeling very proud of DD, I bought her a book and model of a Dophin as a well done. Turns out DD knew nothing about dolphins and had no interest in them at all. It appears the Teacher had copy and pasted comment from another child's report.

Shumbuffler has a good brain...if only she would attend school to use it 😂

This one had me in stitches 😂

“Giggorata appears to think that school rules and standards of behaviour do not apply to her.”

This one isn't mine, but was about a friend of mine back in the first year of secondary school (year 7 now) from the Integrated Studies teacher (still no idea what that lesson was about).

I guess teachers wouldn't get away with this now.

"James is a very arrogant young man indeed. He will go far if he decides to enter Politics."

From my GCSE history teacher:

'Flamingo continues to amaze me with how little work she can complete each lesson".

He then went on to predict that I would fail the subject. I actually got an A for history and always felt disappointed that I didn't have the chance to tell him that!

PE report aged 15.

Murasaki simply doesn't try.

A fair assessment, and my parents luckily thought it was as funny as I did.

When I was about 12 or 13 one of my teachers wrote "She is very poor at the musical elements of this subject" which was pretty damning given that the subject was literally Music.

And did he?

And did he?

I don't know what he ended up doing. Haven't seen him in the Commons though.

"Bit stiff" for PE.

Benjaminsniddlegrass's grammar and syntax would shame a primary school child....